Understanding girls who just want to be friends.

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Chronos
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25 Sep 2011, 5:26 am

I thought this explained this phenomena nicely.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX01Rlt2vBc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]



DeanAdamFry
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25 Sep 2011, 6:26 am

Chronos wrote:
I thought this explained this phenomena nicely.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX01Rlt2vBc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]


I wouldn't say it EXACTLY explains it perfectly but it does give a little insight into what the girl is actually thinking.



safffron
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25 Sep 2011, 8:33 am

Maybe you can take her at her word. Sometimes a woman just wants to dance, socialize, hear music, etc. without any other agenda.



LittleTigger
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25 Sep 2011, 11:32 am

The women I am friends with are all over 50,
and make great friends.

I call alot of them Auntie (Name here)
and one of them Grandma, so in a way
they have adopted me, extended family
I think they call this.

Sorry if I'm off subject.


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Ilka
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25 Sep 2011, 12:38 pm

I cant see the link, but in my experience if I just wanted to be friends with a guy that ment I did not feel any physical attraction for him, but I liked to hang out with him. Notice I ended up married to a guy "I just wanted to be friends" with.



SadAspy
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25 Sep 2011, 1:00 pm

What if women won't even be FRIENDS with you?



Chronos
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25 Sep 2011, 1:13 pm

SadAspy wrote:
What if women won't even be FRIENDS with you?


Are any men friends with you?



SadAspy
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25 Sep 2011, 1:19 pm

Chronos wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
What if women won't even be FRIENDS with you?


Are any men friends with you?


While it doesn't seem like I have close male friends now, I've had some in the past and in any case, I still get along much better with men. No man has ever accused me of harassment or anything like that.



Chronos
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25 Sep 2011, 1:27 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
What if women won't even be FRIENDS with you?


Are any men friends with you?


While it doesn't seem like I have close male friends now, I've had some in the past and in any case, I still get along much better with men. No man has ever accused me of harassment or anything like that.


How do you act around the women you just want to be friends with that results in accusations of harassment, that you don't do around men you just want to be friends with?



SadAspy
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25 Sep 2011, 1:46 pm

Chronos wrote:
How do you act around the women you just want to be friends with that results in accusations of harassment, that you don't do around men you just want to be friends with?


That's very simple. Women don't want ugly guys to talk to them, even if the ugly guy does just want to be friends. Men don't care if a guy is ugly, because they're not attracted to men anyway.



Chronos
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25 Sep 2011, 3:35 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
How do you act around the women you just want to be friends with that results in accusations of harassment, that you don't do around men you just want to be friends with?


That's very simple. Women don't want ugly guys to talk to them, even if the ugly guy does just want to be friends. Men don't care if a guy is ugly, because they're not attracted to men anyway.


You didn't answer my question. I will repeat it to emphasize the information I am trying to collect.

How do you act around the women you just want to be friends with that results in accusation of harassment, that you don't do around men you just want to be friends with?



ValentineWiggin
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25 Sep 2011, 3:57 pm

SadAspy wrote:
What if women won't even be FRIENDS with you?


You probably project an attitude toward them that causes this reaction.
For instance, thinking they're all of one hive mind with different bodies.


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techstepgenr8tion
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25 Sep 2011, 7:01 pm

Chronos wrote:
I thought this explained this phenomena nicely.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX01Rlt2vBc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

Actually, this is me 100%.

My friends are typically there with quite a different agenda, two things I carry with me though no matter how drunk I am a) for better or worse I'm *very* sexually conservative, its hard for me to kiss a girl I don't have feelings for, trying to bareback someone I don't know - even harder to imagine, b) my aspie experiences tell me that most personalities I'll run into at clubs mix with me like oil and water, ie. they're probably cool enough girls in their own right if they were just fielded as arms-length acquaintances but past the fact that I look like a decently attractive NT to them I know my thoughtfulness and tendency not to hide depth as much as other people do would be abrasive on them, much like their bar-gremlin antics and trucker mouths are abrasive to any possible attraction I could have their way.

I don't think many of them could game their way in no matter how attractive or how sly they are (and being of the approacher rather than approachee gender the decision is made that much easier). Its either she really impresses the heck out of me on too many levels to say no to (hasn't happened yet) or, no, I've got three or four perfectly good friends looking for the same thing you are. I'm just here to dance and be social.


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25 Sep 2011, 7:13 pm

Great vid Chronos, but I fear that this is what a lot of guys actually hear:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH4pEiz9QpU[/youtube]



gtw1983
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25 Sep 2011, 8:31 pm

Ilka wrote:
I cant see the link, but in my experience if I just wanted to be friends with a guy that ment I did not feel any physical attraction for him, but I liked to hang out with him. Notice I ended up married to a guy "I just wanted to be friends" with.


Does this mean you eventually felt attraction for him?
I have heard several times of friends turning into lovers later
No offense at all...I just can't understand how a marriage/sexual relationship could last in the case there isn't at least a little attraction.
please help me understand this.



Ilka
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25 Sep 2011, 9:44 pm

gtw1983 wrote:
Does this mean you eventually felt attraction for him?
I have heard several times of friends turning into lovers later
No offense at all...I just can't understand how a marriage/sexual relationship could last in the case there isn't at least a little attraction.
please help me understand this.


Well, at the beginning there wasnt... any. From my side. But I liked him a lot (he made me laugh). Then I fell in love with his brains. I later I fell in love with him. We've being married for 16 years now. And we are very happy... and still have a very healthy sexual relationship, too.