Chronos wrote:
I thought this explained this phenomena nicely.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX01Rlt2vBc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]
Actually, this is me 100%.
My friends are typically there with quite a different agenda, two things I carry with me though no matter how drunk I am a) for better or worse I'm *very* sexually conservative, its hard for me to kiss a girl I don't have feelings for, trying to bareback someone I don't know - even harder to imagine, b) my aspie experiences tell me that most personalities I'll run into at clubs mix with me like oil and water, ie. they're probably cool enough girls in their own right if they were just fielded as arms-length acquaintances but past the fact that I look like a decently attractive NT to them I know my thoughtfulness and tendency not to hide depth as much as other people do would be abrasive on them, much like their bar-gremlin antics and trucker mouths are abrasive to any possible attraction I could have their way.
I don't think many of them could game their way in no matter how attractive or how sly they are (and being of the approacher rather than approachee gender the decision is made that much easier). Its either she really impresses the heck out of me on too many levels to say no to (hasn't happened yet) or, no, I've got three or four perfectly good friends looking for the same thing you are. I'm just here to dance and be social.
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“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin