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HarraArial
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26 Sep 2011, 12:10 am

A bit of background, if I might:

I am an eighteen year old Aspie female. Now, most of my friends are on the spectrum. (Well, most of my guy-friends anyway, I don't know that many female Aspies.) The thing that concerns me? I'm likely the highest-functioning out of all of us. We're all bright academically (... who all is surprised? None of you? Good.) However, the social skills of some of my friends borders on... well... boorish.

Now, I get this, we all have AS, none of us are going to have perfect social skills, and some of us are far more assimilated than others. However, it's gotten to the point where a couple of my friends' behaviour has bothered both my NT friends, and some of my fellow AS friends.

Case in point: One of my friends wants to join in at our D&D group. That's all well-and-good, our DM (Dungeon Master, better known as the leader) is okay with more people, however, his attitude towards the game is bothering us all.

"With the character I have, the campaign needs to start at level 3."

... Woah. Wait please. Last I checked, you are the new people, and you are not the DM. Where do you get off thinking that you get to decide what level we all start off at?

Unfortunately, his entire attitude is like that. He wants to take charge of everything, even though we're already happily under the leadership of our DM (and to some extent me, since the events are usually held at my house, or another venue I can supply... and I'm usually coordinating the events.)

There are other examples, but what do I do? I love all of my friends, but a lot of my friends are getting annoyed at the behaviour of some of my lower-functioning AS friends. And apparantly, the burden falls on me as the "Most NT One" to admonish and guide them.

Help me, please?


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Tambourine-Man
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26 Sep 2011, 12:58 am

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I can't imagine a Dungeons and Dragons group would attract society's social butterflies.


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HarraArial
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26 Sep 2011, 1:37 am

Oh, I'm not saing that it does, except I suppose the "Even Nerds Have Standards" sort of thing applies here. You see, we're not the best sociable people here, but we do have a code of conduct.

And I don't take it the wrong way at all, against my better judgement, I sort of enjoy the weird looks I get from people when I announce that I play D&D.


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KathySilverstein
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26 Sep 2011, 2:13 am

Emm... Well, would talking to your friend with the bad behavior do any good? As you know,Aspies need to have things explained to them very explicitly without any beating around the bush (but still done with consideration for feelings, of course.) Otherwise maybe you can say it was the dm's decision to ban that person if it gets that far, not yours, even if it was yours.An hang out with that person in other venues perhaps.


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nostromo
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26 Sep 2011, 2:45 am

HarraArial wrote:
"With the character I have, the campaign needs to start at level 3."

Answer: Our campaign starts at level (x). You will need a different character.

Thats not rude, just telling it as it is.