A question for the girls

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Imagine you have a crush on someone. He asks you out, so of course you accept. Everything seems to become a perfect love story on the first few dates but then suddenly he tells you he doesn't want to be touched. No holding hands, kissing, hugging etc, at least not for the first few months and possibly never.

How would you react? Remember, you have a crush on this guy.

I couldn't deal with it.
I would constantly be craving physical touch, and might end up resenting him.

i dunno about never but a couple of months would be peasy. maybe even a relief. or a bit exciting

If I really liked him that much, I would probably continue to see him and hope that the relationship would grow and that perhaps he would, over time, become more comfortable with the idea of touch. But I would let him know that physical affection from my partner is important to me, and I'm not sure that I could be happy in a long-term relationship without it.

i would ask him to be a friend rather than a boyfriend if he thought he could never touch. if it's just a wait, then that might be okay with me. when i was a teenager, i was slow to begin the physical part of a relationship, so i would, to be fair, have to respect someone with the same problem i used to have.

That'd be awesome

I think this thread proves that there are always people out there that also dont like touch, its just the finding of them. : )

^^What zen mistress said. Knowing what I know about AS, it would make me wonder if he had an ASD.

Women without that frame of reference might be a little baffled, though, or jump to the conclusion he finds them unattractive. That said, it would be good for the guy to explain that he has a neurological condition that makes touch difficult or something like that, to avoid very hurtful misunderstandings.

SCORE!! ! I don't want to be touched for a while either

(Sorry that wasn't exactly what you were looking for)

If you are trying to date an Aspie figure out what kind of touch they like. I hate to be touched from behind. I like deep touches, not just gentle brushes. I don't like random hugs. I tolerate touch from people when I know they know HOW i like to be touched. I have to trust that they are not going to do anything that would scare, overstimulate, or make me feel uncomfortable. I also really like to be held close and tight. It makes me feel secure though I have to know I can say stop if I need to. Same reason I wrap the blankets around me tight. Find out what kind of touch is the right touch.

I would find it very difficult to have a relationship with someone that never wanted to be touched. A few months, I could do. I'm not big on touch myself, but I do sometimes need it.

To be completely honest, I would think there is something wrong with me, and the relationship would deteriorate.

i think yes find out what type of touch is ok and then if you have to wait a while you then have the decision on if you can handle this. It is a common thing for some people with AS not to like touch as it creates a sensory issue. I myself have one particular type of touch that i could not cope with and my ex husband couldnt understand this. it was a light touch and he could touch the same place with a firm touch and that would be ok. So i think the key here is communicate and ask questions, but if he is AS then dont take it personally there is nothing worng with you or him you just operate differently and have different needs where touch is concerned. if its likely to be long term then you have to decide if you can live with that. Good luck

Not a girl, but I do like to be touched by a woman (I have hypersensitive touch and sometimes its aggravating but still lol)