Depressed

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I created an account on wrongplanet sometime in July, posted a few times back then and after that I havent posted anything. Have just been reading other posts. Has it ever happened to any of you to lose the confidence to even post something anonymously for a long time online? It could be because I have been very depressed ever since I found that I have Aspergers, with the last few months being the worst and because I constantly feel as if no one has the capacity to understand what I'm going through and have been going through all my life. I have been crying A LOT at every little thing and been feeling miserable and pathetic about myself. I know posting on this forum could have helped but somehow I was too downtrodden to even realize that. I desperately need to do something to take control over myself and feel good again. Any suggestions?

I always hesitate to make my first post (or a first post after a long break). You're thinking way too much into it. Nobody really cares. Your spelling and grammar is fine, I can understand the main idea of your post, you put it in the right section, and you're not offending anyone, so I hold nothing against you.

You've already taken the first step. All you have to do now is go with the inertia.

People understand what you're going through, even if it doesn't feel like it. That's what I've learned over the last few months. Just say what you want.

Go for hobbies. Allow your tendency towards obsession turn into something productive. Then you have something to share with people that has technical aspects to it that you can geek out on and get excited about with other people.

Worked for me anyway. If someone approaches me and says "hey, how did you make that guitar amplifier? how do those things work?" - then it's very easy to socialize. However, if someone asks, "how did you fell about John saying those crappy things to Amanda..." then I ball up and withdraw.

Plus you have time to yourself doing things and making things, but with a light at the end of the tunnel: knowing that you can share the results with people.

I'm not going to tell you how to feel, just about my reaction when figuring out I am an Aspie.

Relief, and understanding. In the several months I have replayed a lot of events in my life and, suddenly seeing it from a new perspective, realize that "Oh, now I understand why I did that!"

The self-knowledge can be very helpful in developing strategies for handling it.

I sometimes have periods of depression and/or anger. Maybe part of it is since being almost sure I'm Aspie (self-diagnosed), no, I'm probably not going to fit in.

I tell myself, engagement, not conformity. That helps some of the time. But often not when I need it the most.

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Please feel free to use us as a resource. Feel free to post whenever you like without preconditions.

A general practitioner once told my mom that depression can start off situational and become biochem. And that makes sense to me.

And since each person's biochem is a little different, something like Cymbalta or Zoloft or Wellbutrin might really be a big help for a particular person, or hardly do a thing. That in a very respectable sense, it's trial and error. And it often takes about four weeks to tell (less time if the side effects are unacceptable, and each patient has the right to make that call)

Anyway, getting the biochems balanced may be part of an upward spiral. Now, and here's the artful part, since it's hit and miss anyway, a person can just as well go to a regular doctor like an internist for a prescription, or go to a psychiatrist. And that very much is the individual's choice. (look around, some of us here at WP have had good experiences with so-called mental health professionals, some not so good, and I am in this latter category.)

So, the main game plan, be willing to try a different medication each month for three months. Then, re-evaluate, and try another three. And it might be the fifth medication that really works and what the heck's wrong with that?

Treating depression can be hit or miss (2009 article) [some excerpts]
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt163505.html


(I myself have not taken any antidepressants, but am more open to it in the future if need be. It is an option for me.)

My psych prof said something similar, but it was more along the lines of we're not sure exactly what comes first, the chemical imbalance or the depression, so maybe the situation causes depression which in turn ends up as a chemical imbalance.



I wish my psychiatrist thought along those lines. I had a really horrible side effect from a medication once (basically I couldn't pee) and she told me to stay on the medication to see if it would work itself out, even though I was asking to stop. I ended up stopping it myself even though she wanted me to keep trying it.

I think meds can help depression if you're willing to pair it with lifestyle changes, like trying to regulate your sleep cycle, and getting at least a bit of exercise whether you feel like it or not.

Wow, this is really incredible! I mean, this is not a minor symptom in any way, shape, or form. Especially since there are all kinds of other antidepressants which might work as well or better and not cause trouble with the basic human need to pee.

And good for you for standing up to your doctor and following your own judgment regarding what is best for your health. Yes, if you've just started taking it, you can simply stop taking it. If you've taken it a while, you may want to phase down in stages. Although not being able to pee sounds almost like a urological emergency.

It's like the doctor became a complete nonlistener and essentially became a wooden puppet with a string on the back who repeated, 'just try it a little longer,' regardless of what the patient was actually saying. The only thing I can think of is customer-itis in retail, in which the employee is just sick of the general public, and with the next customer's reasonable question or reasonable request, almost cannot listen to it. (I may not be the best judge of this since I tend to have a good A game and can intently focus and then at times my energy can easily slump to a C game. Many NTs may have a more steady B game.)

And this may be an area in which an internist or family practitioner might be less invested than a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist might really want to be "right." The family practitioner might more take the approach, okay, if this stuff's not working, let's try something that might. And that's really the approach a person wants to be taking anyway. Medium step, feel and texture, and feedback. Again, something like Cymbalta or old school Prozac might work great for some people, and not do a thing for others (or have unacceptable side effects). And that's just where the science is at this time.

SINGLE-PATH: 'A person has to go to a psychiatrist.'

MULTI-PATH: A person can go to a psychiatrist or an internist or a family practitioner. It is the patient's choice.

I prefer multi-path.