What is the correct response?

Post Reply New Topic

If someone asks you if your ok, and you really really aren't ok, but you don't want to talk about it with that person, but you also don't want to lie, what is the right thing to say?

It depends on the situation.

If they are asking you in front of others, say, "I'm okay." Approach them later, alone, to talk more in depth.

To approach someone who you want to talk about something that is making you sad, upset, confused, etc. Go to the person privately and say, "Hi. I have been feeling a little out of sorts. I would like to talk to you about it. Is now a good time?" If they say, "Yeah, what's up?" - talk to them. If they say, "Now is a little busy." Arrange a better time with them.

Usually, at work, I just say the perfunctory, "Fine" or, if I am in a good mood, "Excellent." If it is someone I know very well, I might say, "Passable, I'm hoping for a good day!!" (but I will say this with a smile).

If I am actually having a headache or really not feeling well, I might say to my co-workers, "I'm not feeling 100% today. I will do my best, but I really need ..." (the thing I really need might be "a little quiet time" or "approach me for really urgent matters only" or "I might be a little quieter today." etc. I don't have to go into the details about why I am feeling a little run down - but it will give my co-workers enough information to know that I am not well and to give me some extra space that day.

Hope that this helps.

CR

tell the truth, no one can make you talk about anything

Sometimes when an NT says, "Hey, are you okay?", what he or she really means is, "Hey, are you in need of my assistance?" In that situation it may be totally appropriate and truthful to say, "I'm fine", or, "I'm okay", since you don't want their assistance.

Some other responses that might work:
"It's just one of those days."
"I have a lot on my mind right now."
"Nothing I can't handle."

^^ These are great answers. You can also use something like "No, but I dont want to talk about it right now", and switch the subject immediately to the other person. For example "And how are YOU doing?".

here is what I would say:

"No, I'm not okay and no I don't want to talk about it."

I think it is important to let people know that you don't want to talk about it. When I have done this in the past people usually back off and don't talk to me for quite a while. It does work and it is not rude.

Oops - sorry, I misread the original post - I thought you wanted to know what to say if you DID want to talk about it.

For your original post, (where you aren't okay and DON'T want to talk about it) I like the response, "I'm not 100%, but it is nothing that I can't handle" If they offer to talk about it with you, you can respond, "I appreciate your caring, but I really like to keep these things to myself" then change the subject or even suggest something that WOULD help you (e.g. you need a little quiet, you need to take an extra "fresh air" break, etc).