Sense of Entitlement

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Do a good chunk of us aspies have a huge sense of entitlement? Is this really true about a good chunk of us? If it really is and a lot of us have a huge sense of entitlement could this be a cause for a lot of our problems? Is this sense of entitlement really affecting the autism community in a very profound and negative way? If we do have a sense of entitlement my question is this. Is it possible to lose it? Has any person whether ASD or not ever had a sense of entitlement that they were able to get rid of? How did they do it and how did they make themselves better? Personally, I believe if aspies in general are to better their one of the first steps is to lose their sense of entitlement if they truly have it. Kfisherx, I invite would love for you to especially join this discussion.

You should send her a PM to get her aware of this this thread.

Entitlement to anything in particular?

I think many people, Aspies or otherwise, feel an intrinsic entitlement from, well, the universe, towards themselves. Such a person usually becomes a better person through losing this sense of entitlement.

I don't believe that autistics have an inflated sense of entitlement. Can you explain why you think this? How is the sense of entitlement causing the problems of ASD?

Are you asking if I feel like I deserve, or I'm more entitled to receive things because I'm autistic? No, not one bit- If I feel like I deserve, or I'm more entitled to something than someone else, it's because I've earned it by working hard to get it.

What do you mean with a sense of entitlement? I'm a dutch person struggling with the English language so I definitely need an explanation.

I don't think many really have a sense of entitlement. Most would just like to be treated the same as everyone else. A lot are frustrated but might lack a perspective to allow them to see if they are going about things the wrong way. Other people might just be bitter and see themselves as perpetual victims due to negative life experiences.

I think that anyone - Autie, Aspie, or Entie - who does little to prepare themselves for an opportunity, and then carries on about how unfair it is that those who do make such preparations can exploit the opportunity and become wealthy, popular, influential, et cetera, has an exaggerated sense of entitlement.

That term is so abstract and IMO gets thrown around and misused so much that I can't figure out what exactly it means. My impression is that it is usually meant to mean, "a sense that one is more entitled to receive than others," even though the wording doesn't actually say that.

I think most people have a sense that they are entitled not to be abused, assaulted or murdered. The world might not work that way, but a person can still feel like that should be a right. Is that also immoral?

Do I feel more entitled than others? No, why would I? There was a thread around here in the last day or so about having a lesser sense of "self" and "other." In a weird way maybe impaired ToM makes a person less likely to put themselves above others (less of a sense of social hierarchy, which does seem more common in ASD people).

I know if anything I'm more likely to put others above me because I don't want to hurt them at all, and am terrified of doing so, and I know how much I can cope with and not how much they can cope with...

I've seen people on both sides, but more who don't view themselves as more important than others or should be getting more than others or any other sort of entitlement thing. From what I've seen its far more to do with how people were parented than anything to do with their ASD, though people who were parented poorly who have AS can easily go very extreme on this.

What I can say is that the person who abused me was an undiagnosed aspie with an extreme sense of entitlement and parents who did not do a thing to help him grow up. He was the most extreme immature spoiled brat I've ever met (including children of famous people), and his mother was so extreme at this that landlords refuse to let him live in their apartments again just because of not wanting to deal with his mother. A sense of entitlement can easily be a huge problem, especially when combined with a need for routine.

I would say since society at large promotes entitlement, Aspies are less likely to think like that because they are usually not as socially adjusted. Entitlement is usually caused by too much pampering and not enough "doing-it-yourself". Aspies usually work harder. I've been more entitled ever since I became what might be called "socially adjusted" and I hate it because there is no going back.

Maybe ASD people are skewed to being less entitled than average. Aspies are more likely to see the world around them rationally, i.e. you get what you've worked for, while people with "better" social skills grasp more on the idea of being entitled. Personally, I've always wondered how come people get money or tax-reduce from the state for reasons I couldn't fathom or simply found degrading or unfair, including child-care. For example, if I lost my job I wouldn't be eager (literally) to receive unemployment benefit, though I would arrange it in the end.

There are people out there on the internet who say we do. I do not remember where they're at. My ultimate question is what if at least some of us do have it? If we do is it possible to get rid of it and how? Are there things that aspies are truly entitled to and if so what should these things be? Are we entitled to the inalienable rights enumerated in our declaration of independence. Does that still stand. If we have these as true rights has society violated any of these three rights when it comes to those on the autism spectrum? If society has which of these three inalienable rights have they violated and how has society done so?

Are these inalienable rights the only things we are entitled to and are these the only things we should be entitled to? Why or Why not?

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 24 Oct 2011, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Shoot, I forgot to do that.

What do you consider a "sense of entitlement?"

I, for example, am well aware that there are some things I am not able to manage myself. A lot of it has to do with daily matters most people don't have any problem with. I don't think of it as being "entitled" but recognize it as a very real and necessary need of help. Some of it costs money. Some requires time from others (which usually has to be paid for). It is what it is. Do I feel "entitled" to it all? No. I don't.

I do, however, feel that if someone else is in need, and I can help, it is my duty as a human being to help them.

Why shouldn't I want and hope for the same in return?

Everyone on earth has different levels of capability. Everyone has needs. Not all have the ability to do everything that is necessary for themselves.

Do a good chunk of us feel a sense of entitlement? I have no idea. I can't speak for anyone but myself. I don't, but I do feel not enough people feel any sense of obligation toward their fellow human beings.

I can see how people would interpret autistic behaviors that way. For example, if I am not "going with the flow", because I feel really gawdawful like my mind is being torn into little pieces when someone announces that we have to go to two more stores that I had not mentally prepared to go to, then that person can interpret my resulting annoyance or anger as me being entitled to have everything my way. The truth is that if they felt the same way I did when the same thing happened to them, then they would have the same reaction. It just so happens that they don't. As an autistic person who knows that this internal mental difference can cause me to exhibit these reactions, I have actually tried to be accomodating to others, and I usually do agree to go to the two additional stores, but maybe I have to sit in the car for one of them.

I don't think that it's a good idea to believe the NT interpretations of autistic behaviors and actually think that we do things for the same reasons that they do things. If an NT got angry that she had to go to two more stores, then she probably does have a sense of entitlement and needs to have everything her way. In the same scenario, I simply feel horrible and want to die. As a child, I used to melt down, but as an adult, I control my negative reactions and actually try to accomodate others. Still, I will give off the appearance of not accomodating others fully, socially and emotionally, even though I am doing it physically, so my general behavior will still be interpreted as "grudging acceptance", and someone who does not know me well may still think that I have a sense of entitlement to having everything my way.