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Guineapigged
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27 Oct 2011, 10:14 am

I guess this question only applies to adults, unless you're a teenager who has moved out.

I moved out for a few months when I was 18, but had to move back with my parents because I didn't cope well. Now I'm 20 and still living with them, though I stay on a respite unit a couple of nights a month to give them a break. Lately I've been wondering about moving out again, because I hate being a burden, but the concept of supported accommodation depresses me. I know it makes me sound like a horrible person, but I don't want to have to live with/near other people with problems. I don't want people constantly interfering with my life and forcing me to do things I could avoid if I lived alone.

What is your living situation, and how old are you (if you don't mind telling)?
Are you happy/comfortable with where you live and who you live with?



Angel_ryan
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27 Oct 2011, 10:21 am

Your not a horrible person if you have difficulty. I live with my parents. Right now I'm trying to find special support services that can help me live on my own. There's also group homes but that's not something everyone finds enjoyable.



hanyo
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27 Oct 2011, 10:26 am

I'm 36 and live with my mother. It's alright I guess and over the years we learned to not get on each other's nerves too much. I just don't know what I'm going to do when she's gone since I don't think I could get or keep a job.



myth
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27 Oct 2011, 10:44 am

It might not be fair for me to post since I've never been assessed by anyone ever and I am pretty high-functioning. But I identify with autism and it has been a struggle to get where I am, so I'll just post my two cents; feel free to pass over it since technically I may not be autisitic.

I'm 26 and I live on my own. I've lived on my own since I was 22 (with a couple of intercessions of staying with family during intervals where I had just moved to a new state/country and needed somewhere to stay while I got a job and got back on my feet). I've had a couple of husbands along the way but neither of them contributed much to the responsibility or financial burden of living on your own. My current husband is a diagnosed aspie and he has a lot of trouble with this, currently doesn't have a job and I pretty much take care of him. I'm pretty happy with this, though, I love him and am willing to accomidate his needs. It is scary and challenging but I survive, basically, by doing a ton of research online about anything that I might have a question about so that I can have an idea of what I need to do. Also, I make a lot of lists and try to organize things as much as possible. I get overwhelmed and flip out now and then about various responsibilities but I get by :) Over the years I've learned that, basically, you gotta do what you gotta do no matter how difficult or scary it is. When I first got out on my own, I didn't have a choice, my mom threw me out and I had nowhere else to go so I had to figure out how to do it on my own.

I have no troubles keeping a job (anymore), I am good with computers and I am good enough socially that I don't make waves in the group mentality. I just do what I do on my own and no one bothers with me. My longest job to date was 3 years. I'm going on one year at my present job.


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Last edited by myth on 27 Oct 2011, 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Callista
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27 Oct 2011, 10:48 am

Yes. As of age 25, I started living independently. I still have occasional problems and need help sometimes, but nobody needs to visit me at home, so I consider it living independently. And I'll be self-supporting one day, too, if I can manage it.


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Ann2011
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27 Oct 2011, 11:06 am

I live with my Mom, but am able to contribute financially. I tried living on my own, but was not very successful. We have a good arrangement; we give each other our own space, but are there for each other when needed.



IdahoRose
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27 Oct 2011, 11:08 am

I'm almost 21 and I live with my parents and 17-year-old brother.

I'm very happy and comfortable with my living situation. My parents actually want me to live with them because they worry about me and enjoy my company.



PlatedDrake
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27 Oct 2011, 11:09 am

I live on my own for about 4 years, but had to move back in with my parents about 2 years ago. It's been hard finding a decent, above-poverty level jobs/income, but I do what I can for them: clean, watch after the dog, pay rent, etc. I'm currently 31 years old, and I hate dealing with people most of the time (yet I have to work in customer-based environments). Taking online courses for programming now and see if that helps, as well as finally getting some of the help I've been needing. Hoping to finally get back on my own sometime next year (job pending).



lotuspuppy
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27 Oct 2011, 11:20 am

It depends what one means by "living independently." I live in a different city from my parents now (I have for a while), and lived away for college. My parents were supporting me financially the whole time, and even now, they have to give me money to cover my rent. I live in an expensive city.

I'm considering moving to my parents' city, but I really don't know what independent living means there. Say I land a well-paying job there and live with my mom. I pay for my own expenses, maybe even rent, and otherwise do my own thing, but share living space. Is that independent living? What about living in another place in the same city. Is that independent? I always felt like I need to live in a completely different city (or even country) to be away from my parents.



tropicalcows
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27 Oct 2011, 11:22 am

I'm a commuter at college. I live with my mom. The hard part is that my mom has a disability in her feet. She just got surgery with a 3 month recovery and I have to take care of her. She constantly criticizes me. She overlooks what I do to help and lists all the ways I'm not contributing well enough. She went so far as to say my sister does more for her, when all my sister does is drive her to the doctor's office. She expects payment for her services; I don't. It's very difficult to take care of another person when you can barely care for yourself. :/



Tuttle
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27 Oct 2011, 11:28 am

I live with my boyfriend with my parents giving me all the money for my living expenses. I moved into an apartment for my junior year of college (out of the dorms), and am still living in an apartment next to the campus (with the same social group being who I interact with).

I'm really not sure I could actually live on my own, I rely on a lot from my boyfriend, and my parents are providing all the money, but I think I'd count this as semi-independent living. I do my share of the work around the apartment, its just set up where I don't need to do certain tasks at all and I do other ones instead. For example, I don't cook anything meaningful, and instead I'm in charge of keeping dishes clean.

Hopefully early next year my boyfriend will be employed (finishing his thesis now), and then he'll help support me rather than me needing to get all the money from my parents, he's said.

As for supporting myself, I hope to do that eventually but its looking so far off that I'll be able to be employed, even with me working with Mass Rehab to find me a job (at least, they've told me they'll work with me and I'm just waiting for being told when its starting now).



League_Girl
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27 Oct 2011, 12:28 pm

I'm 26 and live with my husband and son. I have been on my own since I was almost 20. My husband makes most of the money now and handles the finances. I just work part time.

I do have troubles finding work but now I have a job through a company that is for people with disabilities and they give people work all over the area they have contracts with. No interview crap and all that when they hire. I needed help to get this far from my parents and husband had to help me too. I don't know if I would still be working or still unemployed if it weren't for my husband. Plus he takes stress off me so I feel calm more often.

You can all tell by this post I am very comfortable with my situation.



pokerface
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27 Oct 2011, 12:34 pm

I have been living on my own since I was 18 because I had to go to the Dutch version of what you guys call a college or a university.

Eventhough I have always had a good relationship with my mother, I immediately took to living independently.



Last edited by pokerface on 27 Oct 2011, 2:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

zer0netgain
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27 Oct 2011, 12:39 pm

I can and have lived independently.

A few years back, I had planned on going for vocational training and gave up my rental home. Moved my stuff back in with family. Then, something came up and I changed my mind.

I haven't gotten my own place again for several reasons, but if I really wanted to, I could.

My reasons?

1. I'm sufficiently compatible with family to live with them. I have chores, I pay rent (but a lot less than having my own place + utilities), and I'm really only home to eat dinner and sleep. Breakfast and lunch is at work.

2. My folks are aging and, frankly, they really could use the extra $$$ I bring in rather than my being on my own and they dealing with all costs on their own. I'd not hesitate to move far away for a darn good opportunity, but absent that, I feel I should stay near should they need me to help.

3. The money I save on not having the higher cost of my own place has improved quality of life benefits, and....

4. With what's going on in the nation, I feel the smarter move is to stay close to family to conserve and accumulate resources for what I think is coming. On my own, it would be harder to do this.

5. As any really good opportunity might mandate my moving to my own place, it's easier to pack what I need and go rather than have to pack things up and arrange for storage or transport on short notice.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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27 Oct 2011, 1:58 pm

At 21, I went from living with my parents to living with my husband. On the surface, I give the impression of an ordinary wife and mother. But, in actual fact, I am very dependant on my husband. I haven't worked since my daughter was born and, although we both see marriage as a partnership and he isn't pushing me to get a job, I really am financially dependant on him. He also deals with all the finances, insurance, etc. My job is to look after the house, but I'm not at all efficient at that and he often helps out with that, when he sees things getting on top of me. I also take care of our daughter, take her to school, collect her, take her to after school classes and spend time with her. We do the weekly shop together. I don't drive, so it's much easier with him there, but I could do it on my own. I don't know what I would be like on my own, as I've never tried, but I don't fancy it.


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trappedinhell
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27 Oct 2011, 2:08 pm

43 and live with parents. I love this board because I can say that without being judged.

I did live apart for 21 years (mostly when married) but have never lived alone. I probably could, just about - I do pay rent - but families are good. I have great parents, they need my rent, and it's a win-win situation. I believe in families. If you date then you need privacy, but otherwise I think all extended families should get on well together and live close. The world would be a much better place.

In theory I would love to meet someone and move out, but it's a pipe dream really. I dated a few women earlier this year and got the need out of my system. The odds of me meeting someone like me are almost zero, so I am focusing on a career instead.