Just been fired - next steps?

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I made a mistake at work, and combined with my other behavioral problems, it was decided that I should be let go. I disclosed my disability to my HR person, but she didn't seem to take heed. I don't want to bring a lawsuit necessarily because I respect my coworkers very highly, and I think there were things I did on top of the disability that made the situation not work.

What I'm left with is a sense of fear about approaching my new job search. Part of how I got my last two jobs was by pretending to be completely normal and agreeable. But in each situation, there were things I felt I couldn't do that involved social interaction, and it has hurt me every time. I also have a problem with executive functioning … without specific deadlines for things, I don't know when to get what done.

I remember hearing about a job placement agency that helps autistic people with IT skills find work. Is that the answer? I'm a software designer, though, and too much code overwhelms me (though I'm fine with HTML and CSS).

First, brush yourself off and reinstate your self-respect. I've been fired too - it packs such a whammy.

The agency that you mention is certainly worth a try. They might even be able to arrange a compatible work environment (lighting and so on) which gives you a greater chance. That was why I got fired - too much sensory input. Give it a shot. I don't think you'd be bound to take whatever they offer.

Same here. There were way too many discussions going on by my desk, and it was so distracting. I never knew IT people could talk so much about their work!

Funny thing was, when I first joined, everyone knew to be quiet. (We were also in a room that had lots of white noise.) I guess things change.

Can you specify what the "mistake" was? Was it something as trivial as not saying hello to coworkers or not doing small talk? If so, they were completely unfair and you SHOULD sue them.



I strongly disagree.

This has nothing to do with respect of your coworkers. It has to do with your disagreement with the way people IN GENERAL (not just your co-workers) are treating you. Your co-workers might be great people, but there is something about you that EVERYONE hate you, no matter how good these people might be otherwise. Now, this situation is completely unfair to you -- after all, you are a hard working person who just happened to be "different". So you should have a serious issue with "everyone" hating you -- whether you have respect for people in question or not! In this case, your co-workers fallen into the category of people who hate you. So go ahead and sue them, regardless of whether you respect them or not. It is not about them, it is about you!



And what you SHOULD be feeling is an anger that you are in this situation to begin with. Even if you DO find a new job and it goes great, wouldn't you still be angry about "the fact" that you were fired? Regardless of whether you "want" the old job or not, you should sue them out of principle, in order to make a point that you did not deserve to be fired.

The mistake involved writing data to the wrong database, which brought down their server. It happened over the weekend, thankfully (for their customers - not so thankfully for my coworkers).

The reason I do not feel I am in a position to sue them is that I did not arrive on-time that morning, and I had been chronically late in the past. I am not a morning person, and this is part of my apprehension as I go forward looking for the next opportunity. The place I worked was especially generous on their arrival time policy, and I'm not likely to find something like that elsewhere.

As I look back on it I think the other reason I arrived late was that I was seeking to minimize the number of hours in the day I had to be on-guard for social interaction. My most productive hours were in the evening.

But even if I did want to sue, I'm not sure if I can afford to, or find a lawyer willing to take my case. I feel like I might be better off just trying again at another company, but it feels like Lucy and the football. I don't know.

I've been taught not to rely on a disability to get ahead, but now that I'm in this position I'm not so sure.

Last edited by introversal on 01 Nov 2011, 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Another frustration I had with the position is that I was hired as a designer, but over time they were essentially forcing me to code. The work I was doing with the database, for example, was definitely outside my job description. But I was told that anything outside my job description was being done "for the team," and that I wasn't behaving properly if I refused to do something just because it wasn't in my job description. Is this how things work elsewhere? From what I've heard of the corporate environment, it's par for the course. But I feel like there should be a law about this bait and switch. I don't know.

I defintely feel like some of the social dynamics are why I wasn't viewed as a "team player," but at the same time I feel like I didn't do everything I could to inform them of my situation and remedy it. I had been working with a therapist, and he recommended I disclose, but I told him I wasn't comfortable unless I had materials to give them (an earlier verbal disclosure, as mentioned, didn't take). I never got the materials, and here I am.

Okay this is a bit more serious than what I thought, but it is still unfair. I mean I am sure none of them thinks you did it on purpose (why would you? Its not like you could steal something or get some benefit for yourself by breaking the system). So if it was an accident, why can't they trust you to learn to be more careful next time?



Well, this is not the reason they gave you, so don't attribute your own thoughts to them.

Lets put it this way. There are two things going on:

a) Mistake in your favor: they overlooked the fact that you were late

b) Mistake against you: they fire you for something completely accidental

Now, two wrongs don't make it up to right. So, regardless of part "a", the part "b" is still wrong. You should be angry at them for part "b", and sue them out of principle.



This only strengthens the point I just made. Since your old place is generous on arrival, it means that your lateness was definitely NOT a contributing factor to firing you. This implies that, indeed, you were fired just because of one little accident. And this is unfair.

You seem to be focused on practical things such as will you be able to find another job, will you like the other job, and so forth. Forget practical things! Just focus on how unfair it is. You should have enough self respect to stand up for yourself whenever you are discriminated, regardless of any "practical" implications!



You see, you didn't say "I can't"; you said you are "not sure" one way or the other. Well if you are "not sure" if you can or not, then try it! Who knows, maybe you WILL be able to find the lawyer you can afford. You never know until you try!

First off, it's not your fault. I find more and more that no one who gets fired really deserves getting fired. Rather, there's a serious miscommunication, and someone needs to be the fall guy. It's unfair, but true.

First, take the week off. I know it's hard to get one's mind off things, but one can change the channel. Go to movies or a museum, or do something you enjoy.

When you're ready, start searching again. Did you ever meet anyone outside the company? I'd write down every person you ever interacted with, and tell them you left the company. If they ask why, just say there was a misunderstanding over some code you wrote. Don't say "I made a mistake" because that destroys their confidence.

1. Cry.
2. Update your resume.
3. Apply for unemployment relief.
4. Contact a temp agency.

Your current job is to find a new job. Everything you do should revolve around this for at least 8 hours each working day - weekends too, if you can manage it. Every day, you should get up at your usual time, go through your usual routine, put on your Office Formal wear, and start making cold visits - go to each business, door to door, in person, and ask "Are you hiring?", "May I make an appointment to speak to the people responsible for hiring?", "May I fill out an application?", and "May I leave a resume for review?".

Always be polite. Always be upbeat. Always thank them for their time.

Never assume that they will not hire you, even if they say they are not hiring. Never skip a business, even if it seems to be outside your field. Never give up, even when it seems hopeless.

No, they gave that reason after I asked to be given a second chance on the database. I'm pretty sure my arrival time is what made them feel they had just cause; it was building for a while. They even said it was the last straw. They also said my lateness was "dragging down other divisions." … that wasn't an issue mentioned earlier, and I think a new executive hire might have had to do with it.

In any case, you're right I'm a practical person, maybe to a fault. But I see myself as having contributed too much to this situation in the negative to win a discrimination argument, even if it is true.

Right now without an income I'm not inclined to try anything that costs money, even if a lawsuit could end up winning me more money down the line. I just want to be a productive member of society.

Any time I spend looking for a lawyer is time I'm not looking for a job. Though I am not excited to repeat this experience, there are things I can do differently next time. I found out from friends that if I am at a job and not working for example, I am supposed to ask for more work. That is something I didn't do in this situation … though if I had disclosed my disability earlier on, they might have known to follow up with me more often. On the other hand, I had just come from a job where I was micromanaged, and I didn't want that either. Things seemed to be going well though right up until I was fired. I was just starting to find my own tasks to do. The only thing I didn't get right was the arrival time, and that's what they hanged me on, which they have every right to do (don't they?).

I did, one person. But the organization he works for isn't hiring afaik … I will definitely ask if things get leaner

I have a friend who just got hired by my old company's competitor. I was thinking of contacting him.

I also have some opportunities that I've found online that are out-of-area (I'd love to get out of this city if I can). I was thinking of pursuing those first.

During a social interaction someone mentioned the name of a competitor to my old company and I can't remember the name; it's killing me.

Some time off might be a good idea, I think, especially since the job search for now is stressing me out.

I live in the DC area myself. I am thinking of leaving because I know my talents will be appreciated elsewhere. If I move back to my parents' home in Western New York, I can apply to jobs there and stand out as a strong candidate, as it's a stable (if not particularly wealthy) part of the world. If I stay here, I am competing with lawyers and PhDs from around the world, and they all salivate at unpaid internships. It's just not worth it to me.

Yes, that's how it is. It's naive to believe that any job description is inviolate. Job descriptions are starting points. Good jobs almost always expand into more duties. Bad jobs stagnate at the same responsibilities until they collapse into a downsized release of the stagnated employee. Workers in the professional workplace are expected to learn peripheral skills on the job, especially young professionals.

The job market has been competitive my whole adult life and never more so than now.

You seem to have a good grasp on what your challenges were at your last job. Work with that insight to get into better professional shape. Your therapist is one of your best allies and tools.

You cannot change the workplace. It's a hard place but it pays. Let it hone you, you will not regret it.

What constitutes discrimination? Where do you draw the line between what is discriminatory and not discriminatory among a list of reasons for firing someone? The danger in suing over being fired for not making small talk, is that it will keep others with the same difficulties from being hired to begin with, out of fear that an employer could be sued for firing them later. Even if discriminatory intentions existed within the heads of all involved, this could be hard to prove and counterproductive to pursue.

In this case, they lied. After all, you said yourself



So if everyone is late and you are the only person being punished, then it is not the reason only an excuse.

In my experience, when NT tells me they don't like me because of X, and I try to dispute X, they wouldn't want to engage in the debate (debate is an aspie thing). So they would avoid it by presenting point Y instead. The reason Y is usually a excuse, if not a blatant lie. Their real motive is X.

What you described sounds exactly that. They were firing you because of that mistake but since you started to dispute it they said it is because you were late. Evidence is very clear: they are just fine with everyone else being late.



Have you ever considered that the issue that was "building" was NOT your arrival time but rather the fact that you didn't socialize? I mean everyone was late so you are no different in that regard. But at the same time others are friendly and you aren't. So THAT was what was building, and this is a discrimination.



That sounds like they became angry at you about something and as a result of negative attitude towards you they exagerate the impact of your tiredness. It is a common psychological thing: when people dislike someone in general, they are a lot more sensitive to the situations when the person they dislike happened to drag things down, than they would have been if anyone else was in their place. If what I just said is true, then yes it is still a discrimination.



If other people are "just as bad" as you are and they are not in trouble then it is a clear case of discrimination. It is called "selective application of the law". The law says "if you are late you are fired". So "fair" application would be to fire everyone, since everyone is late. On the other hand, "selective" application is to apply that law only to people they dislike. So if well liked people are late they still hold their job, but if the one who is disliked is late he is fired. This is called "selective application of a policy" and yes it IS a discrimination.



How about you get yourself a temporary job that would last for whatever period of time it would take you to look for a lawyer.

Discrimination is anything that is subjective. Like or dislike of someone is subjective. So firing someone for being a "bad person" is always a discrimination, no matter how horrible that person might be.