First Parent-Teacher Meeting--Confirming A Lot

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So, our 4 1/2 year-old son has not been formally diagnosed yet, but here I am lurking. (-:

I just recently showed my husband a 'checklist' for Aspergers, expecting him to suggest I might be drumming up issues where there aren't any or that I may be trying to 'excuse' DS's behavior, and he surprised me by coming back with, 'Wow, that's our son. Not everything, but a lot.'

Add to that, I just went to DS's first pre-school parent-teacher meeting. Although I knew it was coming, my heart still kind of sank. I guess I was hoping not to have my suspicions somewhat confirmed . . . he is super bright, highly verbal (beyond his peers), and sometimes I think that's the only thing causing issues, but . . .

His teacher said he 'Has some problems with social interactions in the class.' He 'is not aware of proper space with his body.' He 'thinks differently from the other kids.'

She wants us to work with him on not shoving/pushing his classmates and on asking to borrow things instead of grabbing. On not trying to always make himself (body) be in front of everyone. She said although his classmates really like him, they think he is 'tough'. That breaks my heart, b/c I know how sensitive and gentle my son can be. But school is a whole new issue. He loves it, but I know he is 'different'. And I think he knows it too.

Positively, she said his 'different' mind is very, very creative. And that's a good thing she feels. We like her, but she is a bit young and inexperienced, so she did not say anything about having him tested or about developmental delays such as writing (that's another thread). The pre-school is more Montessori-style, so they focus on learning through play. She was positive, but said we need to work together on helping him learn these skills.

The only other issue was his eating. There is very little food he will eat, and he does not eat his lunch often at school. He is too slow and distracted. But she thinks he will gradually get better at that.

Anyway, now that I've had this first meeting, I guess I know I need to get him evaluated. Sigh. Still overwhelming, though I pretty much knew it was coming.

Hi

You seem to be in the same position as I was in last year - sending you hugs.

I had hoped that my daughter would settle down when she started school. But, I started to notice things that either I'd never noticed before or they hadn't been there or just weren't that unusual for a young child.

When we went to our first parents' night, it was confirmed that they were thinking the same things. She had 2 teachers, one was very positive about her, saying that she was coping well with the lessons and was quite funny (in a nice way), but the other seemed annoyed at some of her antics. She mentioned lack of eye contact and I immediately knew what she was getting at. The most worrying thing was that they both said she took ages to do anything, although they knew she could do it. They had very little to show of her written work as she was just too distracted to get anything down. After that, I asked for her to be referred for assessment.

We had another parents' night last week, with 2 new teachers. The issues with concentration and social skills are still there, of course. But they pressed the point that she's very enthusiastic when they are talking about certain topics. She has a lot to offer and I know she's very creative, imaginative and good at thinking outside the box. With help, the concentration can be addressed as can the social skills. The positives are amazing and need to be nourished too - that's where a career might develop from.

I know it's a difficult time, but your son sounds great too and I'm sure he'll do fine.

Good luck

http://www.freevideosforautistickids.co ... Links.html

I would check out the resources listed for video modeling for young kids. I would also check out the Social Skills Picture Book and the Joy Berry Books. difflearn.com (also listed in the links) has a catalogue with a bunch of good resources. If you see something that you like but it is too expensive, I would look for a used copy on Amazon.com.

You can also check out the "playlists" on my free Autistic Kids Channel on YouTube for free videos for your child to watch on manners, sharing, etc.

Thanks so much! I was hoping to find some links for some social stories/ways to help teach him.

To add to this, tonight (we are not in the USA) my son just told me at bedtime that he feels he is not learning enough at school! After just two months in pre-school. He says he wants to learn how car wheels work, why the sun shines so brightly and the moon doesn't, how lights work, how things open and close, and his list went on and on! All that, but he cannot write a letter or draw a person yet.

Looks like we'll be looking at social stories AND more science books! I know he is going to be a very loveable, wonderful scientist (or such) someday . . . because he is my smart, loveable adorable boy right now.