Does unconditional love really exist?
I mean really, look at it like this. Women say they want unconditional love, but there are certainly conditions upon who they will love. Lotsa times they'll leave their boyfriend or husband for the first higher alpha that comes along, or they'll leave him lets say, if he gets in a wreck and looses his legs, becoming paralyzed from the waste down.
But to a degree we're all guilty of that. And it's not something we could get past, our turns ons and turn offs are written into our character, certainly if a 550 lb., 8ft tall lady with a bald head and no teeth would be attractive to any of us men
And most definately I'm sure most of the ladies on here wouldn't go for a guy who is 3 ft tall, hairy, never showers, insanely overweight, and constantly scratches his gomers and sniffs his hand, farts at the dinner table in front of your parents and laughs about it, your not gonna find this guy attractive. Ok the last few things I threw in there just because I was getting a kick out of describing an abnormal slob
However, I do believe if I met the right woman and she loved me back, I would stand by her side through good and bad, no matter what happened. And I could only hope she'd do the same for me. I do believe it is possible from my end to an extent (after I've dated her a while), but I do not know if this is possible in a signifigant portion of others.
I will say looks don't mean much to me, but to a certain extent they do mean something. The way it goes is usually like this, the more inner beauty someone has, the less outer beaty they have, and vice versa. It's a balance effect. She would have to be physically attractive *enough* for me to develope some type of attraction, but if she's too pretty she's likely unobtainable and/or bad news. I prefer a girl on a scale of 1-10 (1 being fugliest girl you could imagine and 10 being a centerfold model), I'd prefer a girl between a 4 and an 8 somewhere. But ah, see there is conditions to my attraction;) Going back to my question, does unconditional love exist?
I think everyone has conditions.....I love my boyfriend and would even though he has gained weight and will eventually be bald.....I think he is very handsome but it is his personality(easy going,intelligent,common interests)that attract me...I cant imagine not loving him but if he "changed" and started hitting, insulting me...I would be gone....no second chance...so that is the condition...if he lost his "brain"...I would still love my memory of who he was...but I cant say for positive that I would want to live with him(I have been around people with Alzheimer's and its not easy)
I think I do love my cat unconditionally(sometimes he pees on my bed,gets butt cling ons I have to clean,hairballs,etc....but if he started ripping out my jugular veins...hum...I might reconsider....
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I think he fall in love with ideas, not with people. We fall in love with the idea we have of how some other person is, not on what that person actually is. So, as far as that goes, I think we might love the idea of a person unconditionaly, but if that person stops corresponding to the idea we love, then I think he stop loving them. I think this is how it works.
It is true that we cant often know who someone is with out a lot of time and both people being open.We tend to project our fantasies on to the other person and they may present a "false" self to attract someone....but with enough time together,the person cant usually keep up the "image" and "reality" starts to creep into our own projections of that person.That has been my experience....It would seem,that one day I would wake up and notice that the person "wasnt very bright"or was "selfish".Those things were always there but "time will tell"....Then you have to reconsider....does the persons strengths outway their imperfections?until I was 39,the answer for me was always no...but I have been with the same person for 4 years and I am not blind to his flaws....but I still love this good qualities enough that the bad ones seem of less consequence....but as I mentioned,I dont know if that would include him losing his mind.
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/
The same people who say that Gods love is "unconditional",also have this interesting concept of heaven and hell and many biblical stories that describe Gods' wrath being inflicted on people for what they are doing. know there is that whole "repentence" thing but isnt that a "condition"?
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/
I'm not one of those people, though I do have an "interesting" concept of God.
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"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
- Emerson
Sedaka
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Age: 42
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love is unconditional, period. can't have love and conditions...
i think the culprit responsible for most people's despise of the word "unconditional" in association with "love" is time.
while love itself is not affected directly by time; time changes a lot of things, including people... it's just a truth we have to live with
it's hard because you expect that for every person you love--it should last forever and that that is the necessary contengency for the unconditional part of "love".
as for the inner/outer beauty thing...... there's no way around shallowness. just gotta wade through it
Unconditional love between people simply doesn't exist. It doesn't exist between family members, and it doesn't exist between romantic partners. Only pets with a relatively high intelligence level (e.g. dogs and cats) are capable of giving truly unconditional love. My parents actually told me that once a person reaches a certain age (I think they meant 7, give or take a few years), people love him/her for a reason, and only for a reason, never unconditionally.
the whole modern notion of romantic love is a misconception, perhaps with beginnings in the writings of shakespeare and his contemporaries.
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?Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.?
Adam Smith
Parents can show loyalty to adult children but that's a completely different story. Loyalty doesn't mean they love them.
This is why I hate people and love animals. If a dog's love is unconditional and a "human's" isn't, the dog is above the "human" from my point of view.
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Let come what will, I'll try it on,
My condition can't be worse;
And if there's money in that box,
'Tis munny in my purse.
I believe that unconditional love between humans exists, primarily so from parent/ caretaker to child, and on rare occasion vice-versa. I loved one of my grandmothers unconditionally. But not all parents have unconditional love for their children... plenty don't, but many do. If you are going to find unconditional love you are most likely to find it from a mother to a child (but again, it's certainly not the case between all mothers and children).
As far as male/ female relationships... I think unconditional love in these situations is extremely rare. Just look at the divorce rate, which is predicted to go upward to 80% (in the US). So assuming the remaining 20% contains a significant number of couples remaining together for logistical reasons, you're probably looking at about 5% at most.
CanyonWind
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Age: 72
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Swerving back to the original post for a moment. I've noticed that as I get to know somebody, their looks change. I start seeing more the person when I look at them. Somebody can be technically beautiful, and if I don't like the person inside, they get less and less attractive. Same with the other way.
Love, conditional or otherwise: "Iceberg reported ahead, captain."
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They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina
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