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pete1061
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18 Nov 2011, 6:23 pm

ManicMinx wrote:
I now realize I have met some Aspie males in the past before I was diagnosed. No wonder I found you guys so appealing! You spoke my language, but I scared you away because in the end, you still had the mentality of an average male. Boo. Discuss why aspies should date each other.


What we're you expecting?
Of course, aspie guys are still guys. Just many of us aren't very good at sports.
But our brains, though wired a little different, are still under the influence of testosterone.

Actually, I think I might prefer an NT woman. Someone to translate for me.
I'll bet it would actually be more of a challenge for two aspies to hook up.



ManicMinx
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18 Nov 2011, 6:26 pm

monkees4va wrote:
I love aspie guys. They are usually shy, intelligent in their own field of interest or 'quirky'. All this makes me swoon. They seem to understand me better. Plus they seem to be as loyal as you can get.
By intelligent I don't even mean academically. I dated an aspie who loved exercise, and knew so much about that area. It was amazing to have a conversation with someone who knew so much about a subject, and also tried to understand my own interests.


Yeah, my aspie friends are all modest, honest, intelligent, weird, interesting and they all have their own unique interests. They're so much fun to hang out with. My boyfriend is a quiet aspie and i'm trying to get him out of his shell, but he's such a sweetheart and very loyal to me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Nov 2011, 6:32 pm

So when you're going to bite my neck? I am waiting.



LexF
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18 Nov 2011, 7:07 pm

ManicMinx wrote:
I now realize I have met some Aspie males in the past before I was diagnosed. No wonder I found you guys so appealing! You spoke my language, but I scared you away because in the end, you still had the mentality of an average male. Boo. Discuss why aspies should date each other.


I've never dated an Aspie (as far as I know), but given my track record with NTs, it certainly couldn't hurt to give it a shot.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Nov 2011, 7:13 pm

Ok, seriously now....

I think this desire of 'dating only Aspies" that some members have on this forum (like the OP) is a matter of a fantasy.

And nothing more.



ManicMinx
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18 Nov 2011, 7:21 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ok, seriously now....

I think this desire of 'dating only Aspies" that some members have on this forum (like the OP) is a matter of a fantasy.

And nothing more.


A fantasy? So dating NTs would be reality? Makes no sense, and NO I will not bite you LOL



Surfman
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18 Nov 2011, 7:26 pm

We speak the same language

So I draw a treasure map on your hand



hyperlexian
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18 Nov 2011, 7:50 pm

my boyfriend is the first diagnosed aspie i have dated, but i do suspect that a couple of my ex-boyfriends from way, way back were aspies too. looking back, i don't have a special preference for either aspies or NTs overall, but with my boyfriend it's very nice to know that he really understands my quirks and gives me space to be me.

he is fascinating to talk to as his reactions to things are never obvious or predictable, like he surprises me with his open-mindedness. he takes people at face value and is forgiving and caring in a way that totally floors me. he is calm and patient and thoughtful. to be honest i don't know if i could pinpoint specific things that are specifically aspie characteristics though.


EDIT: he isn't going to be happy with me for talking about him like that (sorry!). i also realised that i rambled with no conclusions. what was the topic again? hmmmm... "Aspie males"... yep, they can be awesome!



Mego
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19 Nov 2011, 4:03 am

I think since I have become more "social" it would be hard for me to find an "Aspie" guy. My old pre-college self would have found an easier time.



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19 Nov 2011, 7:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I think this desire of 'dating only Aspies" that some members have on this forum (like the OP) is a matter of a fantasy.


People are people. My "twin" would be sociable.



hale_bopp
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19 Nov 2011, 7:26 am

MXH wrote:
im not so much into the aspies are all made for each other thing. Theres just as many good NTs out there to date.


This.

As far as quirks go that's not an aspie trait. My Dad has aspergers and is not quirky, my mum is NT and is quirky. I am aspergers and quirky. My sister is NT and not quirky. It varies.



hale_bopp
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19 Nov 2011, 7:28 am

ManicMinx wrote:
monkees4va wrote:
I love aspie guys. They are usually shy, intelligent in their own field of interest or 'quirky'. All this makes me swoon. They seem to understand me better. Plus they seem to be as loyal as you can get.
By intelligent I don't even mean academically. I dated an aspie who loved exercise, and knew so much about that area. It was amazing to have a conversation with someone who knew so much about a subject, and also tried to understand my own interests.


Yeah, my aspie friends are all modest, honest, intelligent, weird, interesting and they all have their own unique interests. They're so much fun to hang out with. My boyfriend is a quiet aspie and i'm trying to get him out of his shell, but he's such a sweetheart and very loyal to me.


Those aren't really aspie traits :/ I know more Nts with those traits.

The main aspie traits are social imparement and obsession.

Loyalty, kindness, respect and modesty certainly are NOT aspie traits.



Circle989898
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19 Nov 2011, 7:34 am

I agree, I want someone on the spectrum because I feel that I can trust them and trust is apart of what I think takes to love someone.



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19 Nov 2011, 7:59 am

ManicMinx wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I agree, it's very difficult to put two people together and say that they will share a connection or instantly be soul mates as no two people on the spectrum are the same. I think some guys like to live in the delusion that the grass is greener on the other side or that they will share a stronger connection with someone because they are on the spectrum when in fact it can be quite the opposite if two people misunderstand each other and both suffer from emotional blindness. I'd imagine it would take a strong amount of mutual understanding, compromise and respect for two people on the spectrum to maintain a long term relationship.


False. I know two guys and one girl who prefer being in long term relationships and know how to maintain it, as long as they feel the connection. If the connection is not there, we tend to call it quits and I don't think that's a bad thing either. Let's not generalize here, because not all aspies are emotionally crippled. And I'm not saying all aspie males are fun, but a lot of them tend to be. :wink:


Not all people on the spectrum have emotional blindness but I certainly do and it is a symptom, I can't honestly say that every single person on the spectrum likes stability, some people do, some people don't, it's all down to preference. You can't take two people on the spectrum and expect them to bond perfectly , I've never dated a girl on the spectrum but I've befriended girls on the spectrum, online and in real life and I can say that we were individuals and shared different perspectives.

There can be a mutual understanding but that's not to say all people on the spectrum are honest, relate to each other and can live in perfect harmony, that's down to personal character and preference regardless of whether a person is on the spectrum or not. For instance, I'm extremely neat and some people on the spectrum may be untidy. As a few female posters have posted, they prefer someone who isn't on the spectrum to translate for them and in that sense perhaps they feel protected or able to cope with emotional blindness better, it's really subjective and down to preference.

Circle989898 wrote:
I agree, I want someone on the spectrum because I feel that I can trust them and trust is apart of what I think takes to love someone.


Again, depends on the character and intentions of the other person, regardless of whether they are on the spectrum or not. I'm not trying to put a downer on this topic or be cynical, I'm simply saying there's more to someone than a label.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Nov 2011, 8:03 am

ManicMinx wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ok, seriously now....

I think this desire of 'dating only Aspies" that some members have on this forum (like the OP) is a matter of a fantasy.

And nothing more.


A fantasy? So dating NTs would be reality? Makes no sense,


Yes, it usually remains a fantasy because how many aspies in reality you would meet? Aspies are so scattered over the globe.

You're living among NT, so yea, trying to date them is closer to the reality.

Quote:
and NO I will not bite you LOL


You can't keep resisting my tasty fresh flesh.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Nov 2011, 2:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Circle989898
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19 Nov 2011, 8:04 am

Wolfheart wrote:

Circle989898 wrote:
I agree, I want someone on the spectrum because I feel that I can trust them and trust is apart of what I think takes to love someone.


Again, depends on the character and intentions of the other person, regardless of whether they are on the spectrum or not. I'm not trying to put a downer on this topic or be cynical, I'm simply saying there's more to someone than a label.


yeah it definitely depends. and yeah thats true too.