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LogoLuver1
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20 Nov 2011, 4:09 pm

I'm in need of help. I went to the psychologist on Oct. 11, (Nat. Coming Out Day) and told him that I had an attraction with boys AND girls. He asked me if I liked a certain girl at school. When I said no, he said that I was straight, and it was probably hormones. He also said that true androgny or "genderqueer" is intersex, but I believe that you can be genderqueer physically and/or mentally. I can't agree with my doctor because I've had an attraction with girls even before puberty. It's not like I chose to be gay. I would if I could, but I can't. Also, when it comes to liking genders of ethnicity, I like black girls, white girls, Latino girls, Arabic girls, but I like Asian girls more than I do Asian men. Especially Asian tomboys. :wink: There's something about them with their haircuts, boyish clothes, and deep voices that makes me crazy about them. :D So how can I be straight? So, what do you think? Should I believe what the doctor said, or should I listen to my heart and say I'm bi after all?



Jory
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20 Nov 2011, 4:20 pm

LogoLuver1 wrote:
I went to the psychologist on Oct. 11, (Nat. Coming Out Day) and told him that I had an attraction with boys AND girls. He asked me if I liked a certain girl at school. When I said no, he said that I was straight, and it was probably hormones.


Huh? Well, sh*t. I must be straight, since there are no guys in my neighborhood who I'm attracted to.

As for the rest of your post, this guy has no goddamned clue what he's talking about.



LostAlien
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20 Nov 2011, 4:21 pm

I would say that you're most lightly to know you best, I would suggest that you don't let other people tell you who you are because they don't generally see the whole picture of you as a person and generally have their own way of looking at things.


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Iloveshoujoai
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20 Nov 2011, 5:35 pm

Tomboys are lovely. If I was a girl I would be a tomboy who dates other tomboys. :)

Your Psychologist seems like the type who is unable to accept that biological sex and gender are different things.



dogslife
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20 Nov 2011, 6:46 pm

Your psychologist is 100% ignorant about both sexual orientation and gender identity. You can definitely be genderqueer without being intersex (and most intersex people don't even identify as genderqueer; it's so transphobic to assume that one's body is what determines gender).



invisiblespectrum
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21 Nov 2011, 9:37 am

LogoLuver1 wrote:
He asked me if I liked a certain girl at school. When I said no, he said that I was straight, and it was probably hormones.

WTF?!?! That is fouled up entirely beyond the limits of my comprehension. I do not even understand what he is trying to say here... That this girl is so attractive that anyone who is attracted to girls must be attracted to her? That being bisexual means you will be attracted to everyone?

Only you know to whom you are attracted, and only you can decide what words best describe your attractions. If you decide that word is bisexual then congratulations, you're bisexual.

And no, androgynous and genderqueer are not the same as intersex and an intersex genderqueer person is no more a "true" genderqueer person than any other. One's physical characteristics do not determine the validity or lack thereof of one's gender identity.



mandypants
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23 Nov 2011, 8:05 am

LogoLuver1 wrote:
I'm in need of help. I went to the psychologist on Oct. 11, (Nat. Coming Out Day) and told him that I had an attraction with boys AND girls. He asked me if I liked a certain girl at school. When I said no, he said that I was straight, and it was probably hormones. He also said that true androgny or "genderqueer" is intersex, but I believe that you can be genderqueer physically and/or mentally. I can't agree with my doctor because I've had an attraction with girls even before puberty. It's not like I chose to be gay. I would if I could, but I can't. Also, when it comes to liking genders of ethnicity, I like black girls, white girls, Latino girls, Arabic girls, but I like Asian girls more than I do Asian men. Especially Asian tomboys. :wink: There's something about them with their haircuts, boyish clothes, and deep voices that makes me crazy about them. :D So how can I be straight? So, what do you think? Should I believe what the doctor said, or should I listen to my heart and say I'm bi after all?


I had a similar experience--I told a shrink I was bi, and he operated under the theory that one had to have a successful relationship with both a man and a woman before identifying as bisexual (so people with unsuccessful relationships must be asexual, then?). I believe that bisexual girls aren't taken seriously with regards to their sexual orientation because of this notion that bisexuality (among women especially) is trendy. My answer: listen to your heart. Sometimes "professional" people are out of touch with messier, real-life situations.

Ooh, Asian tomboys... where can I find me some? :wink:



LogoLuver1
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26 Nov 2011, 4:18 pm

Thanks guys for the advice. There is a quote at my school that says "Accept no one's definition of your life. Define yourself." I knew my psychologist was wrong from day one. Even though he is a professional with a degree, even he can be wrong sometimes. At mandypants, I can see why people don't take bi/lesbian women seriously. I don't understand those female celebs that pretend to be bi/lesbian and think it is cool or think it will get them sexy men any faster. When someone is faking that they are gay, everyone believes they are, but if someone's really gay, everyone ignores them and tries to find reasons they are not. Oh, gotta love Asian tomboys. :P If I wanted to date a girl, it would most likely be one of them. :)


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LogoLuver1
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26 Nov 2011, 4:21 pm

@Iloveshoujoai,
I would do the direct opposite. If I was a boy I would date extremely masculine men. 8) :wink:


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