Children's Videos and Strange Fears

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So, my son (4 1/2) has always been EXTRA sensitive to children's videos. We don't watch TV --at least, hardly at all. However, we do play kids programs/DVD's/movies when we need a break or DS and little sister just need a break. However, since he was 2, what he can watch has been VERY limited, due to his own sensitivities. He is intensely fearful of a lot of things that don't bother other kids--I mean, I'm talking mild stuff like Winnie the Pooh or Elmo or such. He'll watch them, but the moment something 'scary' (to him) happens--a conflict, a sound, a certain song, he starts whining, runs from the room, etc. Even at 4 1/2 he is still super sensitive--we can't watch Disney animations like Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, etc. because they are all too scary for him. He will beg us to turn them off. My 2 3/4 year old daughter though loves them!

Funny thing is, though, he is very interested in Science, so we have started watching some National Geographic stuff--just normal programming. And of course they have all kinds of gory parasite programs, tiger attacks, crocodiles nearly snapping peoples arms off, etc.--and I have worried it's too much for him and asked him if he is scared and should I turn it off. But no . . . he is mesmerized and says no. My sweet, funny, quirky son. Terrified by Winnie the Pooh but not real crocodiles snapping at people or parasitic larva being pulled out of someone's head (shoot, I was squeamish!) and even though he begged not to turn it off the larva thing, we did. Didn't want to risk scary dreams or him not handling it later. The tiger and crocodile stuff we let him watch--he was motionless and happy and mesmerized.

Anyone else experience this type of thing with your kid? Or yourself if you are AS? I know each child is unique. I do know my sons fears are pretty quirky . . . but I have been surprised by what he is NOT scared of.

Eldest (7) is terrified by social conflict. Any show in which a character gets into an argument, or -- worst of all! -- gets into trouble will literally send him screaming out of the room with his hands over his ears. "I don't want to watch this! Turn it off!" Arthur is one of the worst culprits.

I strongly suspect that it's the same thing that makes me unable to watch anything that involved people being made fools of -- Borat, some of the "Special Reports" on the Daily Show, shows like The Office? It's almost agonizing to watch, and I need to change the channel ASAP.

I was scared of a lot of children's programming until... okay, so I still get a little spooked by some stuff! I'd let him watch what he likes.

In this version of Hickory Dickory Dock, at the end, an elephant climbs up a clock, thus demolishing it. My son always hides behind the couch at that point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGgsklW-mtg

When I was really little I didn't like seeing graphic violence on TV shows because I thought it was all real. I remember once seeing Alice Cooper on Sha-Na-Na (yes, that's how old I am) and at the end, he chopped off his head with a guillotine. That haunted me for years afterwards.

Well, he's 4 1/2, so we don't watch many heads being chopped off. We don't even watch TV, but he does watch some kid programs. Basically, if he's scared of it, we turn it off. However, my husband is definitely not as patient as I am. Of course he wants his little boy to be what he thinks of as 'brave' or 'tough'. He's not incredibly hard on him, but I think he really wants him to 'get over it'.

Actually, since you mentioned it Rolzup, it does seem to be social conflict that scares him the most. aka, Pingu the penguin throws a ball through the window of another penguin and breaks it and the other penguin gets a little mad. And he can't handle anything that has any kind of 'bad guy' or 'evil' character. I'm not too worried about it. I just thought it was funny that that kind of thing scared him, but not real stuff--like tigers attacking people in the jungle on National Geo.

Wreck-Gar, my son hid behind the couch too! He does not like things like elephants demolishing clocks. (-;

Unfortunately, there is no good way to make a child brave and tough when they are not. Although ... Having video fears does not mean your son won't surprise your husband with his fearlessness in some other situation. My son is the oddest bundle of fears and brave - you never know what a kid like him can confront and not have it bother him at all. My son does not have an ounce of stage fright, for example. And he gave the most moving reading when he was little at his grandfather's funeral: one moment he was a mess of tears, and the next he was giving this beautiful reading.

So ... You just go with it. He'll overcome many of these fears on his own, or, if he does not overcome them, he will - on his own - figure how to confront them.

I think it would be a good idea to let him choose what he wants to watch.

I also have a problem with the stuff that is on TV and a lot of movies. That's why I only watch sports and documentaries. I prefer to listen to music over watching TV and most movies and I can only usually tolerate children's movies.

Thanks, CR. Funny, the Cars 2 movie scared the heck out of my son, so he only watched 10 minutes of it. BUT he absolutely adores the soundtrack and will listen to it in the car, in the house and now that he has seen the movie hesitantly in bits and pieces, he can name what part of the movie every piece of music is from! It makes him so happy.

And, for being only 4 1/2, he is surprisingly mesmerized by documentaries and nature shows as well. And I'm talking about the ones not aimed at young kids but adults. Which I'd rather watch than most of the silly kid videos anyway! So, we'll feed his appetite for that and skip whatever freaks him out.

Thankfully, DW, I've managed to help my husband accept our sons fears most of the time and not 'push' him too much. He's only just now become not too terrified to swing on the swings, and we just let him work through that in his own time.

Just a thought here, it sounds like the animated stuff scares him while real-life stuff doesn't so much. Perhaps the animation is so unpredicatable that it is actually an affront to his senses but the real-life stuff is predicatable so is not so scary? In other words maybe its not realy about the content so much as the means in which the content is displayed? There was a thread here a few weeks ago about how a child saw a bit in a movie where everything looked funny and distorted and the child told his parent that he saw things/felt that way sometimes. I wonder if the animated programs make your son feel the same way? All the bright colors and sometimes erratic movement on the screen? I could see how that could be disconcerting for a person who perhaps perceives visual stimuli more accutely than other people.

Exactly, Bombaloo. Good point. It primarily only happens with animation. I suppose too it could be because there is no 'explanation' for the animation. But the real life stuff we can give him a scientific explanation (tigers eat antelope or tigers only attack people when they feel threatened or yes, alligators can be dangerous we have to be careful if we see an alligator) and he is absolutely happy and fine with real life scenarios. When it comes to unpredictable animation (good--I hadn't thought of using that word but that's a good description) he freaks out. There's less frame of reference perhaps? It's quite interesting.