Being Aspie/Autie and making Eye contact

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BafflinBook
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29 Nov 2011, 4:39 am

I could tolerate making brief eye contact with most people in a chit-chat as it wouldn't pain me ---as long as remind myself to so----
Im more curious in how other Aspie?/Autie make eye contact and the problem they kept them failing in doing so.

-When someone is delivering a group speech,do you look at the speaker's eyes when he isnt looking at you,but immediate glance away when he/she turns towards you??

-Do you guys find eye contact much easier with kids,some eldery and animals(cats)

-When watching a Vlog do Aspies/Auties have still avert looking at the presenter eyes??Do they still avert staring at a poster that features a model with big eyes???

-What do NTs think when a complete stranger makes a direct eye contact with them??Do they find it rude and should look away??


Thanks in advance



Rax
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29 Nov 2011, 5:33 am

It doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable to look... But something compells me to look away. I can't explain it


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VincentVanJones
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29 Nov 2011, 6:01 am

I used to hate eye contact. I started getting over it by trying to think "ice" when I looked at people if that makes sense. Show no fear, and meet their gaze. Then I realized I was being silly and kind of hostile, so I just got used to it. Its funny but many NT's seems to look away as well after a brief time. Looking somebody in the eye lets them know you are either serious or sincere (depending on situation). I also practiced and put myself in situations were I had to. Necessity is the mother of all... eye contact?



pensieve
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29 Nov 2011, 6:09 am

I always forget to make eye contact and when I do it when I eventually remember I remember why I hate doing it. There's a physical pain and an emotional one, like I can read the person's emotions; not their emotions at the moment but overall. It's like I can sense a deep hurt within them, all their anxieties and doubts and worries. It's hard to explain but something in me imagines them bursting into tears or screaming and sometimes being really affectionate. Not everyone has hurt, some have soft round eyes and a good spirit (not a supernatural one).

So yeah, that's what I see when I'm supposed to be listening to someone when I make eye contact.

I like to play the eye contact game though, which is me consciously deciding when to make eye contact, for how long and when to break it.

My damn Ritalin makes me make eye contact, too much of it for a very long time, and I stand so close.

I can make eye contact with cats easily too but I'm still reading something into it. I love cat body language though because it's just so obvious. Tail wag, ears back, back arched, hissing, eyes wide, eyes half closed - if only humans were that easy to read. Likewise, dogs are easy to read too.


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MitsosV
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29 Nov 2011, 6:41 am

I feel the exact same thing i am talking to someone one on one but i pretend that i am thinking of something to avoid having eye contact with the other person.