does you kid have a concept of giving presents to others?

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And if they do, when did it start? My son is 10 and it never seems to occur to him. He agrees enthusiastically to making something for his dad or giving him a gift if I suggest it, but never spontaneously thinks of it. He also has a great deal of trouble thinking of what someone else might like. Though he also has trouble asking for presents for himself.

My daughter gives presents to everyone, usually of the wilted dandelion variety but the thought is there. The first time she saw Santa she gave him a plastic bracelet. She gives presents but doesn't think of what the other person would actually like. She is getting better though. She recently gave her teachers apples. As far as when a kid gives presents spontaneously, I think it varies even in NT kids. Many NT men forget presents for their wives. Nothing wrong with prompts.

One of the best times my son had at Christmas was when he bought (with my help) a small gift for each family member (about 8 or 9 gifts) and presented them to each person and then watched as they opened. He is 14 and this was when he was 10. He was so excited about the whole process but it's a lot of work. You have to think about the other person, try to imagine what they might kind of present they might like....usually not the easiest thing for an Aspie to do. His interest in gift giving has dwindled since then because, frankly, it is hard to think of a nice gift - esp. when money is an issue. Unless I prompt him he won't buy gifts for anyone except his friend - they have been exchanging gifts for about 5 years now. But he's 14 and has no money so that is part of it too.

He does enjoy receiving gifts but usually feels somehow "unworthy" of gifts that he receives. He is extremely grateful and thankful for the gifts he gets from us.

My daughter does not have this concept (she is age 8.5). However, she is into cooking so this year I have talked her into cooking candy/treats and putting it in bins to give to people. She liked that idea a lot.

My son is also interested in cooking lately. Last year we made fudge for him to give to his dad, I guess I'll suggest something similar this year.

My daughter gives 'presents' a lot. Most mornings, she'll give her Daddy something to take to work with him (often one of her toys). I get handed daisies regularly. Her P1 teachers told me that she was always making little pictures for them too.

My daughter has always been a giver. She's probably the most generous person I know. If she has anything, she shares it. If someone visits, she finds out what that person likes and attempts to find a way to give it to her. Her Methods & Resources Teacher told her we should make sure she isn't being bullied into giving away her lunch money. Nope, but she is offering food or money for food for kids who have less or have forgotten their lunch or don't like what they have. She likes receiving gifts, too, and any little trinket means a lot to her.
There's a great series of books called The Five Love Languages. It suggests that we express and understand love as Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, or Gifts. Once children are past toddlerhood (until then they need lots of every kind of expression of love) they tend to express and understand one or two of these languages most easily. I have two daughters who speak the language of Gifts. When I read the book I realized that saying I didn't care what I got for my birthday was not very good for my older daughter. The daughter with ASD knows that being generous is one of her most wonderful qualities. Now she's learning Acts of Service, and that's tremendous, too.
J.

Well, I think the talking about it is helping the idea get across... he actually suggested an idea for a present for his dad this year, and got interested in stuffing his stocking. I'll just keep trying to involve him and over time I think it will become more natural for him.

I will make it aware I have brothers, who are younger than me. Generally we don't celebrate Christmas. But we do give out gifts. The youngest at 14, J-bird loves Christmas so much he gives presents out early. Which defeats Christmas on December 25th. He gets so excited he's being able to do something nice for the people he loves, he tries handing presents out way to early. I have to somewhat remind him, wait till the 25th. He gets a little pouty after that, but generally he's fine after he realizes he must follow the rules of Christmas.

We were just talking about this last night! Of all three of my kids, he is the only one who never really spontaneously thought of others and taking care of others and giving to others. When suggested, he'll be just as generous as the other kids. Recently, he went shopping with daddy, who suggested he pick out some presents for his siblings for Christmas. Son excitedly picked out things he thought they would love (and was very accurate) and paid for them with his own allowance, using it all up. In the past, when he's given gifts, he's been very excited to see the reaction, and he appears to enjoy giving. He just doesn't usually think of it himself.

It really seems like this is the year it's sinking in! I came home last night and he and his babysitter had concocted some mysterious Christmas present for me and his dad... he was so happy.

I just noticed what he wrote on the tag: "To my friends mom and dad." Melt....