What is one supposed to do in a party?

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I was forced, three separate times, to go to a party full of teenagers of some sort when I was in secondary school.

I remember the one I was forced to go to at school (the teacher said it was compulsory) when I was 14. Soon enough after entering I was in a corner of the room weeping and clasping my hands over my ears due to severe sensory overload (loud music and strobe lights).

In the other two parties, they were organised by the pupils and my mum (who never understood my AS) forced me to go. Needless to say I purposefully drank enough alcohol to get myself drunk enough to be sent home. I hate alcohol so you can see how desperate I was.

My question is - what is one "meant" to do in a party? I have asked people from my old school on Facebook, and other young people, and I usually get the response "get drunk", "dance", "rave", "make out" etc....huh?!

Can anyone give me a reasonable answer? I intend never to go to a party again in my life, as my sensory issues are worse than they used to be (and they were bad enough then) and I am terrible in social situations; I either make a fool of myself by rambling about the pharmacology of dopamine partial agonists to a random couple sitting at the bar, or I withdraw into myself and sit in the corner with a textbook. I'm just intrigued as to what one does in parties.

I am interested in the answer to this question too.

I think that the basic idea of parties is to mingle. That is to chat casually and relax with other people.

I tend to avoid them; a room full of people who want to chat, I think, is one of the levels of hell. I too have gotten drunk to cope if I can't escape, but this usually leads to my making a fool of myself and feeling ill.

If you have to go try to focus on one person at a time and find a hiding spot where you can retreat to if needed.

Whatever you want. It doesn't matter - it's a party, not school. I'd always take lots of E and feel new things.

No idea. I don't go to them. I went to one I think, and I sat in my friend's room with a couple of people, watching cartoons on the computer. Parties bore me They're not like in my imagination.

Thank you for the responses.

I too think parties are a level of hell.

I will take great lengths to avoid them.

Never seen the point of them.

I do not go to parties very often but I think the point is to mingle and make chat.

I did used to go to parties when I was younger as I don't mind loud music (I don't like other types of loud noise but music is fine as long as it is not opera) so I would mostly dance and eat any food available. The point of parties to me was to get to the buffet table.

I won't go to nightclubs as they are too crowded though.

I think you're supposed to party.

I avoid parties, too, but if you're going to go into the kind of career that relies on social interaction and knowing the right folks to get jobs -- believe it or not, archaeology and academia in general are those kinds of fields -- a certain amount of mingling and just generally being socially available is necessary. I've forced myself to go to a couple since starting graduate school, and I generally enjoy myself once I get to them, although I do find them a bit bemusing. I make sure I've had alone time before the thing starts, then limit myself to about and hour or two at most. I also make sure they don't start too late. I don't like parties that start at 9 pm; I'm too tired before the thing even gets off the ground. Even so, I get a lot of anxious, "are you having fun?" and "do you want to sit down/have something to drink/do anything but what you're doing right now?" at the beginning. I have a particular friend who rescues me when I've drifted off to the side of the room by myself -- generally because I don't have anything to say or know most of the people there -- by drawing me into a conversation on some topic we share an interest in. Mostly, I just sit and listen to the conversations going on around me and comment every now and then until they all become too drunk to understand clearly. I also find myself waiting for the first person or couple to make a move for the door so I'll know it's not too early to go home.

I really prefer socializing when there's an activity of some sort -- going on a hike, or having dinner, or window shopping with some one. I enjoyed the study groups I was invited to go to, although I wasn't invited to many. I also socialize a bit more when waiting for a class to start, I guess because there's a specific limit that applies to all of us.

Um...drink and dance and try to talk, I guess. I don't see how its even possible to talk with how loud the music is. I just just stand around, pretend to dance, wander away from everyone else to get food, and when the music and stuff starts to overwhelm me I slip away to where it is quiter, I've encountered couple making out on multiple occasions from doing this.

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The point of parties is readily apparent to people who like to party. For those of us who don't see the point, there isn't one. Meaning I am sorry you were forced to go. My parents did the same to me, and I would find a corner to hide in until I could safely escape. Being forced to socialize with a roomful of strangers is a level of hell, IMO. And let's not even get started on the sensory overload!

There are lots of answers here already and they pretty much cover it. A party is supposed to be an enjoyable occasion where a number of people get together and share a range of activities which may involve loud music being played and dancing (school discos, teenage parties etc) but I would also say that there is more than one kind of party. 

Teenage parties have a tendency to involve some of the guests trying to partner up with someone else and then finding a private corner to kiss (and more).

You could have a party around a barbecue in someone's garden, where the emphasis would be around food, drink and chatting to the other guests and hopefully enjoying some sunshine, where the music would only be on in the background because of the neighbours. 

Then there are family parties, such as birthday parties, which are less about music and dancing and being superloud and drunk, and more about reaffirming family ties by celebrating someone's birthday, or Silver Wedding or similar. It should in theory be easier to talk to people at family parties as at least one generally knows some of them. In practice that can sometimes be the problem of course! 

Not all NTs enjoy parties, I find them mostly pretty exhausting, even family ones, but I can sort of cope with them. 

One way to do this is to go with one other person who is also not very sociable and then you can keep each other company while watching the party from the sidelines. That may not be quite entering into the spirit of things but at least it means you are there and can take part in the event if you want to or have to, but at the same  time have a safe haven to retreat to if you need to.

The general idea around a party to socialise - talk, dance, eat and drink but as someone mentioned, not all people (NT or others) enjoy them, some find that music makes it difficult to talk, some people feel self conscience dancing (that other people are watching them and they can't do it properly) and some people don't like the pressure they feel if they choose not to drink alcohol - I know lots of people who don't enjoy parties. It is a good way to meet new people though

The point of parties is to drink as much of someone else's alcohol as you can before they find out.

At least that's been my experience.

Frances