Disappointed with counselor

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Ok,

So, today I went to see a counselor to talk about my asperger's. When I told him that I had a job he immediately dismissed any idea that I might have something in autism specter because then ''I wouldn't be able to function at a job or whatsoever'' it made me really angry. He could at least ask about what kind of a job. Instead, the conversation was just about him asking question I couldn't answer properly because I didn't understand them (common problem in my communication). Anyway, he reached a conclusion that when I talk about myself it seems like I am talking about someone else. Well, bo-hoo, what a surprise, that's what I came for. And I told him that it didn't feel to me that way. I am disappointed because I got nothing from that conversation, it just made me feel worse about myself because my problems came to light during that conversation and yet all I got was inconclusive statement about me talking too much, without emotion and so on.

I am new here so, If someone deems necessary to move this post to another topic, please do so.

That's extremely stereotypical of him to say and he doesn't sound like a very good Councillor at all, he might as well have said that all Autistic people are brain dead zombies. I would have been extremely angry by that statement and most likely lost my temper. Try to find someone who specializes in Autism rather than going to a Councillor who deals with general problems. I went through several school Councillors before I was suspected to be the on spectrum and I didn't get my diagnosis of AS until I was 15 years old.

It is not uncommon for someone to get a counselor who doesn't fit what they need. Some of them are not all that good in the first place. This one doesn't seem to have a clue about ASD, and doesn't seem to want to have a clue. He's dismissive of your concerns. Clearly, this is not the right counselor. That happens. Try another one then. You can make it one of your very first questions, or even before you actually visit, whether the potential counselor has any experience or knowledge of Aspgergers. There is no need to feel worse about yourself because this counselor is doesn't have a clue what they're doing. There are some who should never have gotten a license in the first place.

He's a douche. And most of them are, tbh, and you have to pay them a ton. It's funny how they keep throwing their ridiculous abstract questions and listen nothing that you try to say, and they are supposed to be professionals (as you may guess it's my bitter experience speaking). I think there's a problem with 'em folks - especially if they are old and have this stagnant stereotypical view on stuff, also in many parts of the world such problems as AS or ADHD are not fully recognized. And then there is a new generation of docs who seemingly overdiagnoze. Many shrinks tend to diagnoze with shizo-something personality disorders, some even tend to think that there is no such thing as an adult Aspie.
I think the best thing would be to find someone who specializes in this (especially if you think you might not be a textbook case) but I realize it might be difficult (or ask beforehand, as SylviaLynn noted). It took me a lot until I realized I had better not have my hopes up when going to these guys and took a light cynical approach with my wits out until I found someone who seemed to have a brain. You could have some quotes to embarass the bastard For instance you could mention famous and amazing Temple Grandin (She also gave some talks on ted.) or Vernon Smith who earned himself a Nobel (should you find yourself in the situation again).

Even NTs usually have to see more than one counselor before they find one that fits.

I second the asking what the person knows about Asperger's before seeing them idea. Anything else that might be relevant should also be asked at least in the first session.

Yeah, it definitely seemed he had this stereotypical view, I know a thing or two about psychology and I could see that he was constantly trying to put emphasis on personality disorder. Well yeah, sure, you can find that - social anxiety, and the fact that I live almost reclusive life. But what about causes, what about the fact that since kindergarten I felt like an alien and that probably, after so many attempts I simply began to detest social situations.

But there was at least something I found out today and that is how many prejudices there are. Apparently, if you have good grades, everything is ok. I believe that is why no body ever took any notice...I felt at times as if it would be better if I didn't exist, and no body cared - ''oh, he is an excellent student, withdrawn but that doesn't matter.'' And I believe, the main problem is not so much what others see, but what we feel inside, and I felt miserable for most of my life. My guess is that ''counselor'' got impression that I was tying to act as an aspie. Funny thought, when whole my life I was trying to act to seem as normal as possible.

There was someone else here the other day who had a similar experience with a psychologist. Yes they think if you have good grades everything is fine. I made straight A's through school as a kid and no one saw how much I was struggling inside. As I got older my grades slipped and they blamed it on depression. No one ever suspected I had ADHD, I figured it out myself and I got diagnosed when I was 18. I didn't get any benefit out of being diagnosed other than the acknowledgement that I was right.

In my experience counselors are totally useless. Actually I don't like any of them, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. I know other people have good experiences with this sort of thing, when they find the right one and I don't want to discourage anyone from seeking that out if that's what they want to do. But personally I left all that behind after I left college. Looking back I think I would have been better off if I had never talked to any head examiners.