I Have No Future

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I don't normally post on here, but I'm just really fed up with everything at the moment, and I just don't see a future for myself anymore.

I'm 19, and am doing a level 1 carpentry course at college, but I went to a special school and have no formal qulifications. I've been told I'm very good at what I do, and I often finish my work a lot faster then everyone else in my class, although the tutors think I wouldn't cope well with site work. I don't socialise with anyone else on the course, apart from maybe a bit in the workshop.

As I'm 19, in the UK I'm no longer entitiled to benifets for going to college, and I only managed to get some of the fees paid by being on ESA, but as I'm classed as "phisically and mentally" fit for work because I can cope at college, I can longer claim any of that, but I am on DLA (for now, anyway).

I probably won't be able to do the 2nd year at college, and so the only choice I have will be to sign on the dole and do nothing. I'm not sure how I would cope with work, and I only really want to do something related to carpentry, preferably joinery shop work or the like, and as I can't drive it needs to be accessable by public transpor, and at the moment my mother (who doesn't work) drives me to and from college as there's no decent bus route there. Basically, I'm screwed.

I have no friends, I hate society, and I feel like a failure.

Just wondered if you are able to learn to drive? It may be difficult but it would probably enhance your career prospects no end. I know how you feel as I am looking for a job right now not easy in this bad economy. It is difficult when you are considered capable enough to get a job but it is hard to get and keep one because of your disability. It's Catch 22 sort of thing. At least you have been diagnosed young so you will get support I wasn't diagnosed till 32 so have struggled with things for a time.

I imagine must of been very difficult for you growing up without a diagnosis, especially through school. I was lucky that I was diagnosed when I was 5 years old, and so have not had to suffer a mainstream education.

I did apply for a driving licence last year, but it got rejected (ironically, due to Aspergers and depression), so unless I could find someone to teach me "under the radar" so to speak, it's not really and option, and even if I did learn, driving is prohibitivly expensive in the UK for anyone under 25.

hi
Please dont give up on going onto 2nd year - it sounds like you are good at what you do.
I know it must be difficult for you but you have to force yourself and hang in there. Can you speak to your mom or another family member.
Dont give up.

For driving, I basically sucked when I first started driving. This sounds odd, but one thing you should consider doing is getting a simulation racing game, like the Forza series for Xbox, preferably. Forza 3 and 4 even have cockpit view, and in my opinion the cars handle quite realistically. I own a Celica Supra, and owned one in the game, and I think the game was pretty much dead on for how it handled and engine power and all that. If you wanna do it even better, get a force feedback wheel, where the wheel needs 3 turns to lock like a real car, and has a brake pedal that'll be hard to push down like a real brake pedal. That's a way to get a "feel" without putting yourself or anyone else in danger. Also, in those games, with a proper wheel setup, usually when they get a real race driver with the same car on the same track as they've raced in real life, usually the game laps are within a second, usually the race drivers lap a second faster as there's no fear of death in the game. Also, with those games, turn off the driver aids, ABS, traction control, and Forza 3 has gotten ridiculous and even added auto braking, don't have those on after your initial first few hours playing.

Me, I don't think I'm naturally good at driving, but I really like cars as a hobby/special interest, so I wanted to learn to drive for that reason. I must say, driving alone when there's not too much traffic is pretty relaxing especially if you're not on a deadline. I find driving alone at night to be a great stress reliever, especially in a manual sports car.

If you don't wanna sorta play around in a racing game, for learning to drive, just get your mother to teach you in a parking lot at first. My sister only needed 1 day of parking lot driving, as I think she's naturally better, but she has such high social anxiety that she refuses to drive as she got honked at once during rush hour. But, me I took like 2 weeks of driving like a half hour or hour a day just driving in parking lots, it didn't come naturally at all. But, get comfortable with how the car maneuvers in a parking lot, then go out on the road, just make sure you get really comfortable in a parking lot. In my state, you need a learners permit for under 18, but over 18 needs no permit, but you're in UK, so laws might be different, but either way, unless you hit something, the police shouldn't bother you if you're just practicing driving with your mother.

The other thing, I know UK specifically for licensing, it's different than US and a bit more logical imo for licenses. In US, you generally need a car license before you're eligible for a motorcycle license. In UK, you start with a scooter or motorcycle license first, in the ranking, as with a car you can obviously do more damage to others if you screw up. I don't think a scooter or bike license would really be out of the question, and insurance and gasoline (you pay like 8 bucks a gallon for gas there, ouch) would be much cheaper on them. Some scooters get like 100mpg. I mean, it'd be unpleasant or impossible to ride in rain or snow, but at the very least, you'd have some independent transport and you wouldn't like, be totally at the mercy of public transport.

@freesia: I've spoken to my mum almost non stop for the past two years about such issues, and TBH there's not much she can do.

I would almost definitely continue with college, but anyone 19 or older in the UK is not entitled to any income-related welfare benifets whilst they are in full time education - I only managed to get this year funded because I'm on the assesment phase of the ESA, but from what I've read, I'm sure the b*stards at ATOS will give me 0 points next week, and whilst my mother and I live with my Grandmother, it still leaves both of us with not enough money for me to be able to continue with college next year.

@1000Knives: The driving game sounds like a good idea, and my mum said she would help me learn, but with the associated costs of actually driving, I just don't know if it's actually worth it. I was speaking to someone the other day who is 20 and was quoted over £2000 for a years worth of third party insurance - needless to say he now drives on the rougher side of the law .

The motorcycle sounds like a great idea, but TBH I never even learnt to ride a pedal bike, so I'm pretty sure that's out of the question

Well, 3 wheeled bikes or scooters are an option. But really, motorbikes sorta balance a bit easier imo, as with a pedal bike, you gotta pedal and your body moves back and forth thus moving the bike, whereas with a motorbike, the motor stays in one spot, so you don't have to constantly sorta gyroscope your body to pedal it.



Vespa/Piaggio makes a 3 wheeled scooter like that. They're new to the market, so they're gonna be a bit more expensive than some $100 moped off Craigslist or classifieds.

Honestly, I'd learn to ride a bike first, for the simple reason it gives you independence. In my opinion with a bike, you can reasonably go anywhere within 3 miles or so of your house, that, and it's good exercise, and you never gotta worry about gas or insurance for it ever.

One thing, too, carpentry shows you at least have some ability/drive/motivation to work with your hands. If you can do that, you'll probably be OK with mechanical stuff. People nowadays are basically idiots about that sort of thing, and skilled labor on mechanical stuff costs lots of money, people pay $100 an hour to shops for skilled labor on cars and whatnot, obviously you personally can't charge $100 an hour, but I've gotten paid like $50-80 easily for simple hour jobs like putting in a starter (basically loosen like 2 bolts and some wires) from people I know for doing work on their cars.

My point is, if you get a moped or something, even if it's crap condition, you can try rebuilding it for another useful hobby. You can make it faster, handle better, all that fun stuff. You can do the same with cars, but cars cost more money for the most part. Once you get a rep of being mechanically inclined, doors will open for you, and people will have a use for you. Some people will take advantage of you, so watch out, though. But, I'm just saying, the possibilities are there for you. Same thing with fixing bicycles, everyone needs their bicycles fixed and adjusted, too, same money in bike repair. If you just learn on your own bicycle/moped/car, it's pretty cheap, and you can just repair or improve stuff as you got money/time/motivation to.

So no, assuming you at least have the drive to wanna know how to do carpentry, you certainly do have a future. It shows you're at least ambitious and wanna actually work. One thing I can think of, too, you can just hire yourself out for unofficial carpentry odd jobs people got. You gotta look up the legal ramifications of that area, as some people can sue you, especially without a contractor license or whatever, but if you're smart about it, money's there. But, on lighter jobs that'll be less likely to get you sued, compared to say, putting a wall in someone's house, ever think of that? You know, make things like bird houses or dog houses or arty kinda things like that, and just at least use that to make you a little pocket money to compliment living with your parents and keep your skills sharp. That's sorta what I do with cars, I don't have a job in automotive repair basically for the same reasons you probably won't do well on work sites, but I make a little cash on the side and keep my family's cars running with my skills I've picked up from reading, and after reading about it, giving it a try.