Aspie Cruising?

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My wife would like to go on an Alaska cruise next year (ie: we're going on an Alaska cruise next year

My wife's a social butterfly and my 11-year-old son is pretty NT and only has mild aspie traits (probably picked up from me rather than because he's truly aspie)

I generally find vacations to be more stressful than work, but I do them because I consider the "family time" to be important. I'm really concerned about going on a cruise where I may not have a suitable escape to unwind. Things like group seating at meals, formal nights, parties with strangers (shudder) and being trapped in small tour groups is kind of freaking me out.

I can generally suck it up and appear perfectly normal when it's a few hours at a time. But a solid week....
I'm under a lot of stress at work and I'm worried that I'm going to melt down and end up in fetal position in my room for the whole trip (mentally, if not physically)

I love vacations at Disney even with the crowds because there's no real expectation that you interact with anyone other than your own family/group. When someone invades my space, my wife and kid are usable as buffers. But I think that the crowds on a ship are going to be a different situation.

I also have celiac, so I'm going to end up having to get close to the waiters and chefs so that I don't end up sick as well. God help me if there are other celiacs on board that want to "bond" with me. I'm not antisocial, but it really takes a lot of work and energy for me to socialize with strangers and I prefer not to spend it on people that I'm unlikely to ever see again. I do go out of my way to be nice to the staff, but I consider that an absolute requirement. Being polite and appreciative isn't the same as socializing.

Is there anyone out there that has any insight or tips that might help with selecting and surviving a cruise? (even better if you can comment on Alaska as a destination, but I'll take anything)

As an aspie who spend almost four years on sea duty in the navy, I would advise you not to go. Period. I put up with it; I had no choice. Although your accommodations would be much nicer than mine, ships are probably the most densely crowded places on the planet. I spent all my free time drinking copiously.

If your AS is anything like mine, I'd try to negotiate a different vacation with your spouse--one where you can be sober, sane, and enjoy yourself.

I have no idea, but I imagine that you would be able to eat in your room if you wanted. Faking seasickness is always a good excuse on a cruise, I would think.

My oldest daughter went on a cruise this summer with her fiance. Mexico, Jamaica and the Cayman Islands. I'll ask her about the level of social interaction that's expected, and what you can get out of and get back with you.

As an aspie who spend almost four years on sea duty in the navy, I would advise you not to go. Period. I put up with it; I had no choice. Although your accommodations would be much nicer than mine, ships are probably the most densely crowded places on the planet. I spent all my free time drinking copiously.

If your AS is anything like mine, I'd try to negotiate a different vacation with your spouse--one where you can be sober, sane, and enjoy yourself.

I have an old friend from HS who moved back to Alaska & it sounds like a beautiful place to live and/or vacation. Have you considered a vacation to Alaska that is not a cruise? What about your spouse picks the destination & you pick the tour type/transport?

This actually *is* the compromise position. She really wants to do a cruise and I have zero interest in the sun & beach thing. (luckily, both my wife and son like the wilderness aspect of the Alaska cruise. So, that part works.)

I'm just not sure what would be worse; A boutique cruise with a dozen people onboard that I'd have to "get to know" or a floating cattle car. I tried to talk her into one of the the InSight Geek cruises where I could immerse myself in onboard lectures and seminars to unwind, (lol - I this has got to be one of the few forums where I don't have to explain that statement) but that kind of defeats the "family time" thing.

Y'know...it's really hard to explain to NTs why I don't find vacations relaxing.
I'm really glad that there are folks that "get" this.

Between my time in the Navy, one cruise, and a variety of ferrys, what I've noticed is that all ships seem to have someplace to hide. My cruise ship had a piano bar with an out of the way spot to sit and watch the ocean going by. I listened to nice music and sat alone to unwind. Pools can be busy, but an mp3 player and a towel over your head may detract from the crowds. Sitting at the stern to commune with the seagulls is even another option.

One more thought. Pay the extra to get a room with a view. That way even when you have to retire to your room, you can enjoy what is reportably some gorgeous scenery.

Somebody who had been in the navy mentioned spending lots of time drinking. If you can't get out of it, and can't get out of the socializing etc, I'd suggest doing this.

Seriously. Don't get falling down drunk, just a nice relaxing buzz so you don't have to pay too much attention to others there. And if you do have to pay attention to them, you won't mind so much.

Again, there is always the fake seasickness. Of course, if your luck is like mine you will plan to fake it but really have it the entire time. I've never been on a ship, but I could see that happening to me.

My daughter did tell me of one incident on the cruise she was on. She and her fiance are both very quiet and shy, (but NT's). They went with his whole family and there was supposed to be a table at dinner for all of them. Just them at the table, no one else. Big family. About 16 people in the party. The table wasn't big enough for everyone and so two people had to sit somewhere else. They put my daughter and her fiance at another table. The ship seats you. They were at a table with another entire family and their grandmother. For every meal. During the entire cruise. She said it felt so awkward but they were so nice and friendly to her. They ate in their room several times to avoid that, even so.

The only cruise I've ever done was on the Nile. I spent a lot of time sitting on deck reading or taking photographs. The latter in particular can be a good way of not socialising while not looking anti-social!

Yup. There you have it. The opening prelude to my nightmare. I won't even be able to surreptitiously send myself an emergency text message or fake a cell phone call that I have to step away to deal with. "Sorry folks, I feel a case of explosive diarrhea coming on and it might be best if I plan to eat in my cabin" might work, but lacks a bit of finesse

Oooo! I like that. I could even put a small boom mic on the camera and throw some headphones on to make it look like I was intent on bird calls, whale song, butterfly flatulence, etc. That could work.