Coming out as an Aspie at work

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I am an engineer in a large company, and have considerable in depth technical knowledge and experience. I was diagnosed Asperger syndrome six months ago, quite late in life.

My immediate colleagues have just been told of my diagnosis of Asperger syndrome.

Some I told face to face individually a few weeks ago and they seemed to be pretty supportive. Some I hadn't told, perhaps the more difficult ones.

There have been difficult team dynamics caused by a senior colleague who should know better, and increasingly I have felt a sense of isolation - that my specific skills aren't valued and that there is a lack of trust in my professional competence and experience.

Eventually I was ambushed in a meeting by this senior colleague. He wanted to prohibit me from using my skills and experience because he might have to read a book to understand my technology and he couldn't be bothered!! !


His comments were so stupid, and spoken with such force that it feels like someone is punching me repeatedly in the brain.


I was so upset by his comments that I walked out of the meeting (I have never done this before) and went straight home. I have felt a strong urge to hide since.

I discussed the matter with my manager, who agreed that he needed to challenge my colleague's behaviour. However he also felt that my colleagues need to know my diagnosis to understand some of the issues.

So earlier this week he circulated an email to my colleagues explaining my diagnosis and asking for their discretion and support.

I can't help wondering whether I have done the right thing.

I have been off sick the last couple of days, but will be going in tomorrow. Feeling pretty nervous.

Last edited by barnabear on 16 Dec 2011, 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you have superior skills then and they still don't want to deal with you, just take your skills elsewhere.

does your company have some sort of human resources department? the circulating email may help some, but it sounds like that a-hole needs to be told by someone with authority to be more professional

I can't imagine it would ever work out well. To nonautistics, information is never just information. You've told your rivals that you have a weakness. Good luck.

I've had my current job of library director for thirteen years. Until this summer, the Board was thrilled with what I've been able to accomplish. Then a couple of teachers were put on the Board with less than stellar intellects. They have made themselves scarce recently, but before they did, they managed to put the entire library into a state of chaos.

If I had decent social skills, I could've put them in their place. As matters worked out, I had to tell them I had AS, simply couldn't deal with what was going on, and offered my resignation, which was refused.

Unlike other groups who find refuge in affirmative action, aspies really do have to be twice as good as other people. But that's life.

Sorry your hand was forced. I am going to "come out" at work in a couple of weeks. I was working on a script with my therapist today and will tweak it next week. My main motivation is to promote understanding. I am a school librarian (hello dunnyveg librarian!) and I feel that the as kids at my school could use an adult voice to help. I don't think I have anything to lose, since I don't hang out with my colleagues after work anyway. I want them to see what an adult with as looks like and sounds like...one that is old enough to speak coherently on the subject. I think it might help the poor lost parents too. I might post the script here later for feedback... it is still a little scary, but I think it us the right thing to do. I hope that your work will receive your news with understanding. Some will and some wont, which doesn't help you now. Your colleagues wont give nearly as much thought to this as you will, if that helps any. Keep us posted and good luck!

Yeah that guy who said that he would need to read a book to understand your technology is probably just trolling so you'll meltdown, quit/get fired and then he thinks he can jump higher up the ladder.

To be honest you might have shot yourself in the foot