Single, 48, and feeling like Spock.

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I'm a 48 year old woman who scored 32 on the Aspie test. I have limited dating experience, none of which I recall ever went well. i was lucky enough to get involved with a woman for 14 years who taught me how to dress, use makeup, act appropriately, talk to people, etc. That relationship has since ended and I'm trying to get out and meet people.
I've had people say they think I'm dead inside. i've been called a charming android. What everyone is saying is that I don't show emotion. Really, i just go home and cry because I don't know what they want.

I know I feel emotion, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do more of to show it.
Does anyone know of any resources that can help one learn how to show emotion. (I'm feeling a little like spock here)

The real question is what are you doing to fill your life with purpose, rather than put your hopes for happiness and satisfaction in the hands of someone who may not exist? When you think about it, isn't it madness the way so many of us live our lives according to people who aren't a part of them? We starve ourselves, butcher our bodies, inject poisons, nod and smile at the blatherings of idiots, and wear masks all day long in the hopes of attracting a mate.

I won't lie and say there is someone out there for you, keep looking and all that. It's BS.

You have to acknowledge that that is a possibility.

You must act on that assumption and form a new life outlook, as I have been trying to do. If you knew for a fact you were going to be alone and loveless your whole life, what would you do? How would you fill it and give it meaning?

I've given myself over to my work as a filmmaker,committed my life to creating something truly beautiful and great that people will treasure. That is my purpose now. I've not ruled out the possibility of love, and I keep my eye out, but it is no longer my purpose. I made myself miserable thinking I needed someone else to be happy. I avoided opportunities because I was afraid to do it alone.

No more. I travel and see the country by myself. I go to the movies by myself. I work, by myself. I have control of my life, and I've never been quite so satisfied and contented.

So to reiterate: forget companionship. Don't worry about it. How can you make yourself happy? Find your passion, whether it's the arts, or science or literature or charity or religion. Something to give yourself over to. And perhaps along the way you'll find someone who'll love you for you, who won't make you change or compromise who you are. But if not, no loss, because you still lived a full, full life.

I've lived on my own now for 4 years and have accumulated a ton of interests. I build websites, I've taken up painting, I run a business and work there a gazillion hours. I have a lot that I enjoy but find that anyone I'm interested in turns me down and I believe that the lack of emotion is the reason. My good friend told me I'm attractive, well put together, successful, friendly enough, but then rubs my chest and says it's hard to get to know what's in "there".

I just have to figure out a way of putting what's "in there" "out there". Perhaps acting lessons are a good idea but I hate the thought of going through my life acting. Perhaps it will eventually become automatic.

Thanks for your feedback and making feel welcome in this community.

Interesting. At 48 I'm still learning so much about myself. I didn't know Aspergers existed until my niece was diagnosed. All the difficulties she is having, I had as a kid. I looked at my father and it all came together. My father and his brother are both on the spectrum I'm sure.

Perhaps by the time I'm 80 I'll have all these social conventions and emotional stuff figured out. LOL

I do know what you mean I do wonder if I have the same levels of emotion as others I certainly seam not to show it.

try this:

you dont have to do anything more to show emotion.

it is an unatural event for you and something you appear to have been doing for a period.

accept the fact that being spock like is normal for you.

dont pathologise AS -this behaviour is normal for you, as soon as you feel you need to adapt- it shows and people pick up on this and you appear fake.

why do you need to show emotion because other non AS are doing it?

its like telling a gay guy to act straight.....he can do it....for a while.

but he will always get sussed out.

I'm 48 too and Spock is a big hero of mine.

If your born in the year of the rabbit.... demure, retreative, conflict avoiding stuff is normal

i was born year of the rat, i thought THAT was at the bottom of the foodchain.