40 years old, am I making excuses?

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Hi folks,

My 6 year old has just been diagnosed autistic after a 2 and 1/2 year diagnosis proceure. It has come to light that I may well be autistic (Aspergers?) as well. My problem right now is that, try as i may resist, the temptation to shine an autistic light on all my childhood and developmental problems is almost to hard to resist. Does anyone else have any experinece here?

Yes, and all I will say,...for now is... that in hindsight virtually all of it makes sense now. perfectly !

My twins are autistic and I was given a diagnosis as Aspergers a year or so ago. It does help explain a lot of things about me. I'm on medication and in therapy and it's done me a world of good.

Don't go for a diagnosis if you're a single parent as it's generally believed that an Aspie parent can't be a competent parent. Fortunately, for me, it's not the policy in my state to be declared unfit due to the diagnosis.

Why are you resisting? Go for it. It can help you learn coping strategies.

Yup. My question to you is, "Why would you want to turn off the light after living in darkness for so long?"

Maybe you've just gotten used to the dark, and it's comfortable? Maybe you don't like some of what you see in the light.

Both are normal. But if it feels like the lights have been turned on, that's probably what it is.

Follow the light. It's not the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new journey, only now you'll be able to see where you are and where you're going.

Oh yeah. In the process of figuring out my daughter I've found out a lot about myself. There's a reason for all the difficulties I had growing up. Yes, it's like a light going on. I understand my father better too. This is actually really common. It's been very healing for me.

Why resist? I function better when I am kind to myself and take sensory issues and such into account. I don't feel bad when I have to ask for things to be written down because otherwise I will forget. I can let all those negative labels I accumulated as a child slide away.

My experience is similar in regards to the concept of shining a light into the past. One that explains things that didnt make sense before.

In answer to your question that titles the thread, i say dont think in that terms. If the knowledge helps you, use it. This is the purpose of knowledge that often gets convoluted and sidetrack. If the knowledge helps you in ANY measure, it is good. Any reason speaking to you to deny any article of knowledge, including this, ask it, what end does it serve? Oft times the answer is none. Its memetic mumbo jumbo.

I was 40 when I first discovered I had Aspergers. A lot of weight was taken off my chest when I was able to put a finger on what was wrong with me.

I done the same thing.
just be careful of letting it all go to your head, and allowing your self to make excuses for your self and your own actions.
Your not a label.

Exactly!

Personally, I'd find extremely difficult to turn off the lights after they have been on for a couple of moments... It's soo much against my nature.

I know people who prefer living in the dark, though. Their thinking is like "I am who I am, deal with it." (like Popeye) Some people even prefer to hold others out of light, too, for the same reason. I don't know how ignorance is rewarding for them.

edit: grammar...

Last edited by OJani on 22 Dec 2011, 5:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

I noticed this too, and I've found it quite rewarding in terms of healing and finding out what to do, how to deal with them and their difficulties better.

I am 41. Last year I finally gave in to the AS idea (it had been put to me many times). Since then I have learnt a lot about it, things fell into place, and now I think I can explain my behaviours and attitudes to people more. I reckon it would be a good idea to investigate yourself. As long as it doesn't mean you think worse of yourself.