How many Aspies Experience this???

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Have you experienced this in your life?
Yes 43%  43%  [ 6 ]
No 57%  57%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 14

Djimbe
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23 Dec 2011, 6:11 am

VivianMorrigan wrote:
People absolutely love me at first....then....its like they go "well, I already know everything about you, there's no mystery, I'm bored now, I'm done with this, moving on." I DON'T GET THAT!? For me, relationships are supposed to built up, once someone knows "everything" about me, it doesn't matter, because that's when the fun begins, when you start creating the new you who you are creating every day and moving forward. Relationships are about commitment, constancy, etc...and a large part of that is creating NEW experiences TOGETHER and becoming new people TOGETHER. I dunno what is wrong with our society that everyone is just more than willing to throw all that away and for what?



Ive never heard something that ive struggled with so much and so powerfully put so Succinctly. I wonder if other people find this to be their experience in relationships?

Please chime in, Im very interested in this.


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fraac
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23 Dec 2011, 6:18 am

No one gets bored of me. They get sick of me.



emlion
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23 Dec 2011, 6:24 am

fraac wrote:
They get sick of me.


This.



Wolfheart
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23 Dec 2011, 6:25 am

VivianMorrigan wrote:
Relationships are about commitment, constancy, etc...and a large part of that is creating NEW experiences TOGETHER and becoming new people TOGETHER. I dunno what is wrong with our society that everyone is just more than willing to throw all that away and for what?


Networking and communicating are far easier because of technology, in the past, people couldn't simply divorce or break up and find a new partner, they had to be committed and show consistency to maintain the family unit, financial and physical security depended on the family unit sticking together.

Now people have the choice to divorce and be independent, women have more freedom to be independent which I think is a good thing. No one should be in a situation where they are pressured to be with someone they don't truly love or have feelings for.



The-Raven
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23 Dec 2011, 7:22 am

fraac wrote:
No one gets bored of me. They get sick of me.


me too.



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23 Dec 2011, 8:55 am

They don't get sick of me or bored with me; they just don't get close enough to be able to actually fall for me.
A fair few manage to know just enough to be infatuated and think they're falling for me, which I guess is understandable: I'm smart, talented, apparently good-looking, witty when I can remember how to talk, and apparently good social graces are easy to mistake for actually caring. :roll:
However, all these people have seen is my social mask; they've never spoken more than a sentence to me underneath it.
Only once you've spoken to me rather than the social persona, and done so at length, and seen my flaws as well as my good points, will I be willing to credit your feelings as actual love.

So yes after all that... no I haven't experienced it.
I don't see the appeal of becoming new people together with someone; I'm quite fine with who I am, and if I love someone I don't want them to change as I like who they are already.


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mv
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23 Dec 2011, 9:19 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
They don't get sick of me or bored with me; they just don't get close enough to be able to actually fall for me.
A fair few manage to know just enough to be infatuated and think they're falling for me, which I guess is understandable: I'm smart, talented, apparently good-looking, witty when I can remember how to talk, and apparently good social graces are easy to mistake for actually caring. :roll: However, all these people have seen is my social mask; they've never spoken more than a sentence to me underneath it.
Only once you've spoken to me rather than the social persona, and done so at length, and seen my flaws as well as my good points, will I be willing to credit your feelings as actual love.

So yes after all that... no I haven't experienced it.
I don't see the appeal of becoming new people together with someone; I'm quite fine with who I am, and if I love someone I don't want them to change as I like who they are already.


^ This. For the most part.



MXH
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23 Dec 2011, 9:30 am

noone bothers to get to know me enough to get bored of me



OldGeek
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23 Dec 2011, 10:18 am

I am usually the one to leave. I have only had serious relationships with NTs. I overestimate them. Eventually the illusion wears off and I see they are so shallow and not really smart enough to have a good conversation with. I try to stick it out, but the pressure of not really being myself gets to me. I really need sanctuary when I get home.



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23 Dec 2011, 10:25 am

I wouldn't say bored or sick of me. It's grabbing their interest.


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23 Dec 2011, 10:43 am

"I don't see the appeal of becoming new people together with someone; I'm quite fine with who I am, and if I love someone I don't want them to change as I like who they are already."

It is impossible not to change. Even when you are a recluse as I was for years, I changed dramatically for the better. It is human nature to change, but it is your choice whether to change for the worse or for the better. Life is so much better when you choose rather than letting life change you.


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cinbad
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23 Dec 2011, 10:48 am

I stopped caring what people thought of me. It took me years to become someone that I liked. Whether it was changing the things I didn't like about myself or joking about the things that I couldn't fix. It made all the difference. When you accept yourself, others want to know you.


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Djimbe
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23 Dec 2011, 11:16 am

I think that the "Bored Of Me" Vs "Sick Of Me" is really just a different way of saying the same thing, isnt it ? Or at least a different finger of the same glove? Or do you think that there is something pragmatic that Im missing?


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nick007
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23 Dec 2011, 11:17 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
They don't get sick of me or bored with me; they just don't get close enough to be able to actually fall for me.
A fair few manage to know just enough to be infatuated and think they're falling for me, which I guess is understandable

Same here.
I think I do better as the relationship progresses; people tend to like me better after they get to know me a while when it comes to friends & coworkers & stuff; I don't make great 1st impressions. I only had two relationships but that's what happened last time; I was falling in love & she was becoming infatuated


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Djimbe
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23 Dec 2011, 11:31 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
They don't get sick of me or bored with me; they just don't get close enough to be able to actually fall for me.
A fair few manage to know just enough to be infatuated and think they're falling for me, which I guess is understandable: I'm smart, talented, apparently good-looking, witty when I can remember how to talk, and apparently good social graces are easy to mistake for actually caring. :roll:
However, all these people have seen is my social mask; they've never spoken more than a sentence to me underneath it.
Only once you've spoken to me rather than the social persona, and done so at length, and seen my flaws as well as my good points, will I be willing to credit your feelings as actual love.


I find this often . I find that people usually only engage with me as a stereotype, not as who I feel I am. Usually this happens when Im horny/lonely, and taking advantage of such things. But i find that theyre doing anything BUT having sex with ME, theyre having sex with "A musician" or "the Giant Black Guy" or "The Black Nerd". And if you know anything about these stereotypes you can almost predict what type of person Im having sex with based on them the first being Groupies/drunk people (I personally dont drink- stops me from getting laid a lot unless Im on Stage because then I can use the Excuse that Alcohol cramps me up.) The second is either a ghetto type/ghetto wannabe or the complete opposite, the Suburban chick that would normally cross the street and hold her purse on the other side of her body when she saw me coming thats "slumming" (you cant talk too much and let these types know you have an IQ higher than theirs, it blows their Mandingo fantasies) And the third Is usually other Black nerds and Hippie types.

And yeah, I can hear some of you saying "get some self respect" but you (meaning I) can only go so long without contact, so eventually, back into Blackface I go, and on with the Minstrel show.

Quote:
So yes after all that... no I haven't experienced it.
I don't see the appeal of becoming new people together with someone; I'm quite fine with who I am, and if I love someone I don't want them to change as I like who they are already.


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WhiteWidow
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23 Dec 2011, 11:56 am

emlion wrote:
fraac wrote:
They get sick of me.


This.


I either third or quadrupple that motion. Haven't seen the rest of the comments.