creeps on wp

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Where the Internet and dating meet, there is an increased chance of creeps.

good point.

...or might have been, had this thread not been 8 years dead.

There's more creeps on social media than on here but more people using sexist logic when it comes to dating on here and being blunt about it. Probably the bluntness is an aspie thing & people are lying on social media but you can be blunt without being sexist - if those thoughts aren't in your head in the first place!

Every DM I've had on here has been with 2 people who obviously wanted to offer advice and platonic friendship. I appreciate that. One from an older guy but he saw himself more as a 'father figure' offering really helpful and nice advice and chat & one from a girl my age.

I've had actual creeps on social media go from zero to a hundred. Go from talking politics on the main bit of twitter to dming me about their dicks within one or two messages. Someone who's twice my age and then some.

Don't do that. Anyone. Any genitalia, any gender. Don't DM anything like that. Even DMs aren't private when you're DMing a stranger. Don't take things from zero to a hundred.

A lot of the Aspies on this forum tend to be introverts who have a hard time with offline social interaction & the pandemic is making offline social interaction even more difficult but this thread was started in the end of 2011 long before almost anyone even knew COVID existed.

One thing worth noting is that Aspergers is sometimes considered an extreme male brain. Going by that theory, it would make sense that Aspie women can better relate to NT guys while Aspie guys would have a harder time relating to NT women compared to NT guys. NT guys can sometimes have a hard time relating to NT women, some male comics joke about that & there was a very famous book titled "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". So if NT guys can have such a hard time understanding NT women & Aspie guys have an even harder time understanding NT women, imagine how difficult it most be for some of us Aspie guys to relate & connect with NT women. It does make sense that some Aspie guys might find Aspie women more relatable & potentially easier to connect with. Also Aspie guys having problems with women(problems with attracting & understanding & other issues) can cause Aspie guys to feel very lonely & desperate & it can also cause major frustration. People tend to act negatively when desperate & frustrated & Aspies are known for having bad social skills & for being blunt & unintentionally offending others. When desperation & frustration is added to the mix, it should be no surprise that some Aspie guys would come off in a way that is not socially acceptable & appropriate behavior. Over the MANY years I've been here on this forum, I really do not believe many guys here intentionally wanted to cause harm towards women weather Aspie or NT. I think a lot of the guys here hitting on women are not wanting to upset them & were just hopping that the women would be willing to give them a chance. I wonder if a lot of those guys would of backed off if the women would have told them directly to leave them alone. One of the biggest problems us Aspie guys tend to have with getting dates is that us Aspie guys can sometimes be oblivious with hints. I know women in general tend to rely on hints when rejecting guys cuz the women wanna save face & are worried about how the guys will react but indirectness just does not work with us Aspies sometimes. For example if a woman tells us that she's busy, we may literally assume she really is busy then & we may try hitting on her again the next week hoping that she wouldn't still be busy & that she'd be interested in us. All that said, anybody on this forum who threatens harm towards another member or seems like they're gonna cause real harm to anyone NEEDS to be reported to a mod.

As for myself~ I struggled majorly with women partly due to my Aspergers but a lot of it was also related to me having various mental & physical disabilities besides Aspergers. I very likely woulda been able to better compensate for my other various problems/issues/disabilities if I would not of had Aspergers on top of that. One of the major Aspie issues I had was that women were not direct enough with me. I took what they said literally & looking back that could of gotten me in serious trouble when I hit on women from work. Maybe they cut me some slack cuz they realized I had various issues & we got along for a bit before I made a move IDK. The 3 relationships I had were online but I was very willing to relocate to be with them. I felt trapped living with my parents. I've always had major problems getting along with my parents & never really felt close to them or felt close to anyone in my extended family or anyone else. I also cant drive(my vision is too bad, I have problems paying attention, & I process things slowly & react slowly) & there wasn't really a public transportation system where we lived & there wasn't really anything within a decent walking distance. I didn't meet women much offline after I graduated high-school except when I was working. I also didn't have much interest in romantic relationships until my 1st girlfriend told me she liked me when I was 20. We met on a forum for a common interest & we had some other things in common which allowed us to really connect. She was the 1st person I ever really connected with. After we broke up, I was single & looking for 8 years straight with no luck except maybe bad. Meeting women at work never worked out into a date(pun intended) & I tried numerous dating sites with no luck. I almost never got any messages except when I was on dating sites with forums & then I got some messages but they weren't interested in a relationship with me. They were just various members wanting to chat about stuff & they related to my posts. I tried looking for women on non-dating site forums as well but I never initiated PMing any women for that purpose. I just posted about various stuff aLOT including my loneliness & frustration hopping that a woman would relate & be interested in giving me half a chance, or that a woman would like some things about me & be interested in giving me half a chance, or that a woman would feel sorry for me & be interested in giving me half a chance. I did chat with a couple women who might of been interested in me but they were not direct & straightforward enough with me. We had misunderstandings & I thought they were just wanting friendship. I realized when they got upset at me for making comments about being lonely & using dating sites & by then it was too late. Well there was also a couple women I chatted with who woulda been willing to move in with me if I woulda had my own place; they're living situation s#cked at least as bad as mine & they were also lonely. Because of misunderstandings like what I've mentioned, I thought it might be better for me to be with an Aspie woman instead of an NT one. I also tended to rub NTs the wrong way online by making LOTS of whiny self-deprecating posts about stuff. That's why I joined this forum. I knew I was very likely an Aspie & I was hopping that I'd be better understood & accepted by Aspies than I was by NTs. I did have some problems on here due to those types of posts but things were still a lot better than other forums.
I ended up meeting my 2nd girlfriend on this forum. She responded to a thread I made & she said she was kinda wanting a similar type of relationship & I asked in the thread if I could PM her. That relationship didn't work out for various reasons. I was 28 at the time & we were a couple for about half a year & we did meet up, she lived about a day's drive away from me. Shortly after we broke up, my current girlfriend sent me a PM on this forum. She has a brother who's been diagnosed with Aspergers since he was little & Cass had joined WP to learn more about him. Cass has various issues she's been dealing with her whole life & in the process of learning about him, she started thinking that she could also be on the spectrum. Cass had stumbled across a bit of my posts & she liked &/or related to a bit of what I posted about. She wasn't really on this forum to find a relationship but she was interested in one with the rite person. Cass stalked my posts for a bit before deciding to PM me. She had posted some but she was much more of a lurker than a poster. We met up a couple times during about half a year span. I lived in Louisiana & she lived in Vermont. She took a Greyhound trip down with her sister. Her sister wanted to tour New Orleans & me & my parents lived about an hour away from there. Her sister stayed in a hotel & Cass stayed with me & my parents. I then went up with Cass & her sister after two weeks & I spent about a couple weeks there before going back home. I took another Greyhound trip to Vermont a couple months later & spent another couple weeks with her. I took my next one a couple months later which was about a month before the lease on her apartment ran out. We looked for a new place together & we moved in together.

I get the point minervx(the OP) is trying to make. It's not a good idea to harass someone expecting them to be your soulmate. However there is a line between that & messaging someone online hoping that things will develop into a serious romantic relationship. The latter has worked for me. However one thing worth noting in my experience is that the genders were reversed. Things may be very different if I would of been PMing women with that hope/expectation. Also I'm sure my experience was in the minority compared to other guys on this site & probably compared to most guys online in general. But lots of romantic relationships do begin online nowadays & some people do relocate to be with their partners. & that does NOT make them pathetic harassers.

I blame myself because I keep on saying that people on this site should meet up but some of us go about it poorly.

tell me about it.

IOW creep is relative.

but the high and mighty get away with it. [earthly] laws don't seem to apply to them, neither common decency/morality.

 
The only C.R.E.E.P.s I know seem to be members of the Committee to RE-Elect the President.
(That's a Liddy/Nixon/Watergate reference, by the way.)