The correct response to a general question about work

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Recently, I began working just on Saturdays at the same job I had this summer at the call center.

Today, one of my coworkers from the shift I had worked over the summer came by to get something from another one of my coworkers.

To be friendly, I said hello. She then asked me if I was enjoying working here on weekends. I said, "Yeah, I'm enjoying it." And then she said, somewhat under her breath, and I suppose to paraphrase what she thought my opinion of the job was, "It's just a job, I guess."

I disagree with the content of what she said in that I thoroughly appreciate that I have this job. It pays well for the amount of work that is involved in it, which is helping people over the phone with their computer problems--something I have found that I enjoy.

I was disappointed that she said this as well, because I AM trying to improve my social skills and I do NOT want to appear to convey that I am only half-heartedly enjoying something (or that I don't enjoy it at all, which was this individual's more likely implication) when in fact I am enjoying it (maybe in my own special, non-emotionally expressive way).

There was a slight delay in my understanding of what she said. I have some difficulty placing what or who people are referring to when they say something, unless it is expressed clearly in the statement. Her statement was, "It's just a job, I guess." She was referring to herself in the statement. I had to think for a second, hence the delay, to decide whether she was talking about HERSELF or was paraphrasing what she thought I was conveying.

I didn't want to argue over such a minor point (after all, I may be an Aspie and so it may sound crazy to her), so I didn't say anything.

TWO PRACTICAL QUESTIONS

I have two practical questions about this particular social interaction at work.

A.) If someone from work asks you what you think of your job (especially after returning to the same job after a brief hiatus), how do you respond in terms of your body language and what you should say?

B.) Was she, perhaps, NOT paraphrasing what she thought I felt about my job, and instead telling me her own true feelings about the job?* (I don't know if you can tell this or not from the information I have given.)

* In this case, I think what she said might have sounded a little rude to the average person** if they had had said, "My job is wonderful!" and smiled expressively, and she said what she said. (What she said, I might add, was a negative statement with double the amount of emphasis on the negative. "It's okay" can be either positive or negative, and followed by an "I guess," which is negative," it becomes a negative, so essentially you have a negative statement with double the amount of emphasis...hah...).

** It is also possible, however, that I am not the average person (I don't have a diagnosis but I am leaning more and more towards an mild-to-mediu, ASD self-diagnosis), and maybe (I don't know because there is no security camera video I can rewind to see my expression, which I don't remember clearly)...maybe I sounded rather bland and disinterested with my job. In that case, suppose she did say what she said in reference to herself (in other words, NOT paraphrasing what she thought I felt about my job), and was telling me in effect that SHE did not like her job.

I don't know what to tell you about your situation.

I find that most people don't like their jobs or don't like to admit that they do. They often seem surprised that I do like my job.

xon,

It should be quite clear that your co-worker was annoyed with or does not like her job and was annoyed that you do enjoy what you are doing. The problem is hers. Let it remain hers.

I think your co-worker was just being negative. I can relate to your need to have this explained. I have often found myself given equal amounts of analyzing to recent interaction with an NT, only to find out I will probably never know. Sometimes I can compare said interaction with a similar one in my mental database and find an answer. Suffice it to say, most people have a negative attitude towards work, and consider yourself blessed that you truly enjoy what you are doing. One of my favorite quotes, is from Ray Bradbury, and it says, "Find something you love to do, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

I don't think it matters what the other person says or does, or why they do, it only matters what you do. Never say anything negative about your job or the people there. Smile a bit, shrug a bit, say something like "Pretty good" or "It's okay". You could also say "I'm so glad to have a job" or "I dunno, it's cool."

The thing is that sometimes coworkers come and say a Negative Thing, and kind of badger you into agreeing, then they go away and say that *you* said the Negative Thing. So don't budge, ever. On the job, polite & upbeat is the way to go.

There's also surveillance cameras, and office tattle-tales - remember, whatever you say could go back to the boss. You don't need to get paranoid - it's kind of normal in many offices.

It's good to like your job.

It is especially good to say you like your job to your boss, and anyone who might talk to your boss - like your co-workers. If there are other jobs around that you think you might like too - it is helpful to say that too - because versatility is useful - if someone else leaves one of the other jobs - your boss will know that it's one you'd be willing to try and this saves the boss a lot of grief.

However - a lot of people like to b***h about their jobs - there is always something else they'd rather be doing - but they need the job to pay for the something else, usually. Saying you don't like your job - allows you to empathise with them. But it isn't good overall.

Maybe mentioning something you like to do when you're not working or a tv program you like to watch - might put the job-hater more at ease. Or you could mention what you like about the job besides the money - that they can't argue with - ie you like helping people or you like your co-workers (don't get specific or next thing you know you're having an affair with any one person you do like, according to the office gossips).

Some people don't like working on weekends because there are lots of weekend social things they miss out on if they do. So you could also ask the co-worker about what she'd rather be doing - and engage her in conversation that way - without saying that you'd rather be working. It might be best not to draw attention to ways that you are different to her.

But essentially if she doesn't like the job - she should think about getting a different one and it is her problem not yours.

I think it sounds like she's jealous that you are only working Saturday and not the rest of the week like she has to do? Is that possible?

Yes, it can be annoying if you want to have a whinge about something and then other people act all sunny as if it isn't a problem. However, that's life and if someone is upset because you like your job, then they are the one who has to deal with these feelings. It's not your fault.