Handling serious emergencies?

Post Reply New Topic

This question is aimed at those with high-functioning autism and Asperger's (those who basically are self-dependent in general).

I've been through a fair number of emergencies, in which I had to make fast decisions, and so forth. I find that when this comes up, I tend to forget things repeatedly, and keep running back & forth as I think of them.

Case in point: I had to rush my wife to the hospital this morning, as she evidently ingested either a chemical or a drug in some New Years party food. We don't yet know exactly what it was, but it made her feverish, violently ill, and delirious (and in & out of consciousness). I was very scared, and somehow got us to the hospital safely and quickly, and she's OK now. But I found myself bordering on panic, and had to run back into the house many times for things like keys, wallet, etc. I forgot to put shoes on, and forgot my wife's wallet, and other things.

Many NTs, with whom I've discussed this, don't seem to say that they've had this reaction. So I ask is this connected to autism, or do I just need to work on holding off a panic? I really don't want to think of ever causing someone to die, or something awful, because I couldn't get my head on straight in time.

Thanks for any opinions!

Charles

Well one time I had to take my mother to the hospital and while I was waiting for her to get ready I was pacing back and forth hand flapping constantly while she actually decided whether or not she wanted to go and being indecisive about going

I surprise myself sometimes. I do pretty well in emergency situations when I'm being depended on. It's actually the small stuff that I have the most trouble with, it seems.

I've been the cause of the two emergencies I've been involved with and each time I froze unsure of what to do. I've had to depend on my family (one of them was with me both times) to make the decisions for me and for that I feel terrible for. I don't know what I'd do if I were alone in that kind of situation.

I have never really been in a real emergency. I have had taken my son into ER when he was three days old because my husband was worried about him. So they said to take him in and we did. I was calm and wasn't scared. He looked fine. I just did what my husband wanted and I drove there like normal than driving like a maniac like most people do. Only thing I was crying about was my Dolly Parton boobs because I was so engorged and they were hard as a rock. We were there for three hours and then they said everything was fine and normal and we could go home.

I also remember another time in 5th grade, my brother and I and our mother come home and I see some red spots in the kitchen and a note. Mom read it and told us we had to go to the hospital because dad had cut himself. My mom says I got scared but I was just confused and didn't know what was going on and her being silent for a while as she was on the phone made me anxious because I wanted to know what happened and why it did. I did notice a new package on the counter and my mom said it was a new toy my brother got and he was trying to cut it out of the box. I don't know why we went to the hospital or how they got there in the first place if we had to pick them up. I think our next door neighbor took them to the ER and dropped them off there and went home and we had to go in to pick them up. My dad got stitches on his hand.

I was never the one who had to act on the plan or make the first moves. I have gone into ER for a bee sting when I was 14 and the other for a ear infection when I was five. It was just my mother telling me to get in the car and we are going to the hospital for it.

It can happen to anyone, NT or ASD. It's the sympathetic nervous system ("flight-or-fight response") kicking in when under stress. Some people may be more adaptable to stress than others. Other people may react differently to different types of stresses.

I've worked in emergency response and have been involved in some high-stress situations. There were four things that helped me deal with them effectively:

1. Breathe. You might be surprised at how often people hold their breath when under stress, or their breathing becomes shallow/rapid, bordering on hyperventilation. This limits the amount of oxygen reaching your brain, making it difficult to think. A simple exercise is to breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, repeat the cycle a few more times. Even one cycle can be beneficial. Taking a couple of seconds to breathe may seem like a waste, but it can save several seconds if you end up panicking while you try to figure out what to do.

2. Training. If you learn what you need to do in an emergency it can take some of the stress off of you. One reason people may panic is that they don't know what to do. Taking a first aid/CPR class at the Red Cross can go a long way towards preparing yourself to deal with emergencies. It may even be just reading a book or watching a video on how to respond to emergencies.

3. Plan. Have a plan in place. Use your training and your own personal needs to come up with a plan ahead of time. For example, you may decide to keep all your wallets and keys in one place by the door with your shoes nearby. The important thing is to do it ahead of time and make sure it's something that will work for you. It's also helpful if the plan is fairly broad and flexible, in that it's simple but is applicable to a variety of situations; it's nearly impossible to plan for every possible eventuality. You can start by asking yourself "what if...?" questions. For example, "What if my house catches on fire? Then I need to breathe, get everyone out, close as many doors and windows as I safely can, call 911, and meet up with everyone to make sure we're all accounted for." Never forget to breathe.

4. Rehearsals. This can be either physical or mental. A physical rehearsal is where you go through the motions of what you've planned. For example, have a drill where you breathe, go to where the keys/wallets/shoes are, grab everything, and go to the car. Or you could unplug your phone (or turn it off if it's a cell phone) and practice dialing 911 (and yes, I practice this from time to time...high stress can impair near vision and fine motor skills, both of which are necessary to dial 911, and practice can help mitigate those problems in a real emergency). A mental rehearsal is where you imagine yourself executing your plan. The more vivid and detailed the visualization the better, but even just running through a mental checklist will help. This can also help refine your plan if you rehearse it and realize you missed something important that needs to be added to the plan. Using the fire escape example, you may realize during your rehearsal that you forgot your cell phone to call 911, so you add that you need to make sure you have a way of calling 911, either by grabbing your cell phone on your escape or asking a neighbor to do so.

Ideally you want to be able to execute your plan(s) on autopilot when the need arises. But even if you aren't able to practice all 4 steps to that degree, just make sure you breathe and run through a mental checklist of what you need to do.

In my case, in emergencies such as auto accidents, time slows down drastically, as if I am watching the catastrophe unfold in slow motion. In the apparent extra time there was plenty of "space" for me to do whatever necessary to avert or minimize disaster. This has occurred maybe 1/2 dozen times in my adult life.

I also had a curious incident when I mistook which intersection I was at and turned directly into a wall of oncoming traffic. In that case, I did not experience the slow motion perception. I steered into the only open space without the perception of having thought or reacted. (This experience is more like a fight or flight adrenaline reaction; doing before knowing.)

I am NT; but I consider my unemotional reaction to what would be terrifying situations, an unexplained gift. I know plenty of NTs who don't have this life saving mechanism.

The only explanation I've ever thought of is that I had many rough experiences as a child. So perhaps now that I'm an adult and am free from my childish defenselessness; I am now capable in emergencies?

I was the main first aider at work, so someone must have decided I was right for it (either that or no-one else wanted the responsibility). A couple of years ago, my dad called to say my mum was sick and could I come over. He had told her to go to bed and she's probably be OK, but as soon as I saw her I knew it was an emergency and called for an ambulance. She was in hospital for a week, in high dependancy, with acute pancreatitis, caused by gallstones. Sometimes I worry that certain members of my family just hang around, when they need to be calling for help right away.

I tend to fare well in crises, at least when it comes to actually acting to solve the problem.

This is a very interesting question for me and I think I have to answer it in two different ways. As I've mentioned in a few other threads, I work in emergency services and tend to be incredibly detached from the drama of any situation when I'm dealing with it at work. On an intellectual level, I am able to process the pain others are feeling but I feel none of it myself. It is a manifestation of the so-called "lack of empathy" that helps me to be effective at my job while among strangers.

Now, the second way I'd answer the question involves my reaction to emergencies involving those I truly care about. I have been fortunate in this regard as real tragedy has been absent from my life so far. But for small-scale emergencies, I don't fair nearly as well with those at home as I do while I'm at work. Just one example: about a 18 months ago, my youngest child developed a high fever (105) and a kidney infection while I was halfway across the country. I was a complete wreck, dropped everything I was doing and flew back home immediately. I needed constant updates and just found myself on an emotional roller coaster until I knew everything was going to be alright. So on that level, I can completely relate to the sentiments expressed in the OP.

i always get scared i'll do the wrong thing and make stuff worse, because my judgements on the right thing to do even in general situations can be a bit off. &screwing up in an emergency is far worse than screwing up in a random social situation. i worry that there's an obvious thing that most normal people wouldve known to do that i'm not doing so my actions probably end up being a bit slow whilst i'm thinking (/praying someone else comes along and takes over)

In emergencies the emotional side of me goes on hold. The emergency is dealt with in an appropriate manner, with most of the necessary papers and such in place. Then when the emergency is over I fall apart.

Thanks for the replies!

It sounds like mainly, we are no worse off than NTs in these situations. I just have to use discipline on myself to be ready to act, and not worry about things like preparing self to be presentable (a big one for me), or cleaning up whatever I was doing when the emergency came up, and "cut off" those concerns when action NOW is needed, and just do it, ready or not. That's hard for me, but maybe it's hard for anyone.

My wife is doing much better this morning; sleeping off the rest of whatever it was. She's able to feel her legs and walk fine now, but is still a little confused (can't finish thoughts or long sentences). No drugs/no alcohol (not in decades). It's all due to whatever this bug or poisoning was. Now our house guest is sick the same way, so maybe it's an acute Flu bug. He's going to wait it out here, and we're watching to be ready in case he needs help. The emergency room couldn't do anything for my wife that we can't do for the guest here, I think. Whatever this is, it doesn't make any sense, and IF it WASN'T food poisoning, then it's the first flu bug I've seen around where which causes delirium, panic and leg paralysis. I guess according to the internet, there are such bugs, but mainly in Africa and India.

Charles

I don't do well in emergencies. There are lots of times where my mom has to go to the hospital. I don't drive (my dad drives her) but when my mom is that sick, I sit there in anger and depression. Don't forget panic as well. All with cussing but luckily I don't break things. I injure myself as well when my mom is dying all the time. This can happen several times a year. She has deadly illnesses. I am worried about her. Now my dad will have a heart attack as well. My mom has something called "Sjogren's Syndrome." Now the doctors suspect cancer as well. Lymphoma. Also she has very serious lung disease. Believe it or not all these are related to the Sjogren's Syndrome. That can even cause brain damage. My mom gets confused easily as well. I have to admit I get confused as well and not notice things at all as well. It can be right in front of me and I wouldn't be able to figure it out (well I also have a lack of intelligence). I get confused a couple times a week my mom gets confused constantly. She denies it though and comes up with an excuse. Emergencies are common in this family. That is probably the primary reason why I suffer from depression. I think it isn't chemical depression but rather situational. My mom has had fevers of 106.5 and I think it caused brain damage or lesions on the brain. I know fevers that high can cause physical brain damage.