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Joined: 16 Sep 2011
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03 Jan 2012, 5:55 pm

Did you ever consider that the people who voted "no" weren't saying they didn't welcome self-diagnosed people; just that they didn't feel they were welcomed? So in other words, they meant they felt they were shunned rather than they were the ones doing the shunning?
I, too, have read through the entire thread and several ones like it and nobody ever says that the self-diagnosed aren't welcome. We're just discussing the validity of self-dx. Don't be so quick to assume you're being penalised.

League_Girl
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03 Jan 2012, 5:57 pm

Maybe alex should add a new rule, no talking down about the self diagnosed or no critical comments about it or and no questioning about the self diagnosed members.

I assume that has already been sent to him through PM so he can add that rule?

Australien
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03 Jan 2012, 6:27 pm

GreyGirl, please bear in mind that polls can often suffer confirmation bias, and I believe the poll you refer to is a perfect example. The status quo is that self-diagnosed people are on the forums. It is reasonable to assume that people who dislike the status quo will be more likely to respond to the poll and will therefore be over-represented.

I have no reason to wish your exit from the forums and you seem nice to me.

Guineapigged
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03 Jan 2012, 6:32 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Maybe alex should add a new rule, no talking down about the self diagnosed or no critical comments about it or and no questioning about the self diagnosed members.

I don't think that's fair at all. Self-diagnosis IS questionable (hence the frequent debates about it); banning people from expressing that view isn't going to make it go away. If anything, it will just mean that people become MORE irked about it because they are denied the freedom to discuss it. Making it punishable to say anything negative about self-diagnosis is a step too far in my opinion, and would make another group of us feel shunned and unwelcome.

League_Girl
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03 Jan 2012, 6:36 pm

Guineapigged wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

Maybe alex should add a new rule, no talking down about the self diagnosed or no critical comments about it or and no questioning about the self diagnosed members.

Some members here have gotten upset in the past about seeing critical posts about self DX and now the OP is very upset and feels unwelcomed here. That topic seems to make people upset and feel bad about themselves because it's not their fault there is no one near them that DX adults or because they can't afford it or can't find a doctor who isn't ignorant about it. So i thought maybe if that topic was banned here, more members feel safe just like racism is banned here and so is homophobia.

Guineapigged
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03 Jan 2012, 6:44 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Guineapigged wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

Maybe alex should add a new rule, no talking down about the self diagnosed or no critical comments about it or and no questioning about the self diagnosed members.

This is a forum for discussing autism; a topic which is full of questions and prime for debate. If you remove the freedom to debate, what's the point of the forum? That would be like going to a religion forum and saying, "I don't like it when people diss Christianity so nobody say anything bad about Christianity, K?"
I believe the appropriate phrase for this kind of situation is "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen".

Racism + homophobia are in no way comparable to what has been said in the "offending" thread.

GreyGirl
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03 Jan 2012, 6:53 pm

GreyGirl wrote:

To those who do not want me here,

Congratulations. It seems you have won. I have no doubt in myself that I do indeed have Asperger's,self-diagnosed. It seems,however, that I also have not become strong enough to withstand bullying.
Your questioning of my right to not only be able to identify myself through self-analysis and research, but to have the right to speak with others with whom I feel I finally share some kind of understanding, has officially intimidated me. I no longer feel comfortable asking questions here.
I only feel comfortable posting in general topics that are discussed anywhere else.

While I well know that I am responsible for myself and my emotions, I also know I have the right to my feelings.

Since You who do not want me here are so verbal in your opposition, wish to remain anonymous. Making yourself known only through numbers on a poll. I do not know who to avoid.

I have been questioned, doubted, and forced to defend myself my whole life. Frankly I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I am not a stupid person. I will not keep going somewhere where I feel there is a good chance of repeated conflict.

You have not succeeded in your attempt for me to have to change my "label" of myself.

Most of you have been so incredibly kind and helpful. If there is any way I could ask any of you questions in the future while avoiding the negativity I would be grateful.

I'll be "lurking".

In a harmless, information seeking way. GG :nerdy:

**Edit** I am also relating to the "My Problem With Self-Diagnosis" Thread in combination with
the thread with the poll mentioned earlier. Sorry for any confusion.

Phonic
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03 Jan 2012, 7:06 pm

I have never been made to feel unwelcome here because I am not diagnosed with an ASD, in fact I'm not even self diagnosed, I'm an NT - one would think I'd have gotten bullied myself, I suppose I'll make a thread about NT's being here, since I doubt most people who read my posts know I'm an NT.

I am truly sorry the OP has felt harrassed here, but know the most of the forum with with you! We're on your side here and I for one value the opinion of those who self diagnose as much as those who are officially diagnosed.

After all, I was officially diagnosed with ASD and they were wrong and *I* was right, so much for the professional opinion.

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nemorosa
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03 Jan 2012, 7:06 pm

Guineapigged wrote:

The question was "Are the un-diagnosed welcome here?" [yes/no]. It's quite clear what you are voting for there. Your interpretation of it is all wrong. Nobody said the undiagnosed weren't welcome publicly but instead they hide behind the anonymity of the poll.

Anyway, to the OP, please ignore those people and don't be put off.

Phonic
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03 Jan 2012, 7:08 pm

nemorosa wrote:

Guineapigged wrote:

I disagree, i think the poll is unclear: If I were voting and I saw that the undiagnosed were unwelcome I would have voted "Yes" even though *I* wish they were welcome.

Maybe this is just a missunderstanding.

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Angel_ryan
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03 Jan 2012, 7:42 pm

Phonic wrote:

nemorosa wrote:

Guineapigged wrote:

I agree I'm starting to think that too. I was more worried by this post on Are the un-diagnosed welcome here?

GreyGirl wrote:

Hi, I would just like to ask that those who don't want me here let me know who you are. You can PM me. I don't want to accidentally post on a thread where I am not wanted. Thank You.

I was under the assumption that Greygirl may have received a hurtful PM. If she did then I understand why she's upset, but if that's not the case then I think this really could be a little of misunderstanding and if someone doesn't like her here then she should just ignore them because there are plenty of people who welcome her. I also can't help but notice how simple misunderstandings are such a common thing amongst ASDs. On a bad day I could've answered the poll wrong myself LOL.

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Last edited means I caught yet another spelling mistake I missed while I was looking for them, Damn Dyslexia.

nemorosa
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03 Jan 2012, 7:47 pm

Phonic wrote:

nemorosa wrote:

Guineapigged wrote:

Fair enough if the poll had asked "Do the undiagnosed feel welcome?" or even "Are the undiagnosed welcomed?". But the question was neither of those things. Reading the original post by the creator of the poll only clarifies this:

Sweetleaf wrote:

But lately I am getting the feeling specifically self diagnosed people are somehow unwelcome.

Phonic
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03 Jan 2012, 8:18 pm

Sweatleaf doesn't clarify anything. If the poll had said your suggestions it wouldn't have been so vague.

That there's any debate at all over the meaning of the poll should tell you that it's problematic.

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nemorosa
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03 Jan 2012, 8:44 pm

Phonic wrote:

Sweatleaf doesn't clarify anything.

Even when she says:

Sweetleaf wrote:

So lets settle this once and for all. are self diagnosed people welcome at wrongplanet or would it be best if they avoided it.

Methinks some people didn't bother to read the accompanying text before answering the poll. Tut-tut.

Phonic wrote:

If the poll had said your suggestions it wouldn't have been so vague.

No, if the poll had been used my alternatives it would have been asking an entirely different question.

Phonic wrote:

That there's any debate at all over the meaning of the poll should tell you that it's problematic.

I disagree but it is clearly pointless to discuss this with you further.

Verdandi
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03 Jan 2012, 8:47 pm

Guineapigged wrote:

In the thread you started, one of the posters was actively and repeatedly asserting that self-diagnosis made his official diagnosis worthless and invalid. He may not have explicitly said "I don't want self-diagnosed people on this forum," but he did make it clear that he viewed them with contempt for somehow tainting official diagnoses.

Actually, he tried to speak for everyone with an official diagnoses when he made those claims. Someone else in possibly a different thread said that he did not like the fact that self-diagnosed people can post here and that it makes the site useless to him. He also said there should be a forum only for people who are professionally diagnosed.

It does get said, and a lot of times in these discussions, people get attacked for having a self-diagnosis (I have been, directly, accused of doctor shopping to get a diagnosis two weeks before my first attempt at getting a diagnosis, which was also successful).

One thing about these people is that they tend not to be regular posters, however.

CockneyRebel
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03 Jan 2012, 8:55 pm

I hope that you keep posting and I believe that you have AS. I have nothing against self diagnosed Aspies. I also wish that people would stop making those threads. It's very insensitive of them to do that. Sweet Pea hugs.

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