How did you self diagnose?

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My mother always wondered if I had Ausperger's. But by the time diagnoses started to be common, I was already an adult and most of the diagnosis seemed to center around kids. I started off taking that test on RDOS. It initially indicated that I had AS and NT traits. I took it again and it changed to likely being an aspie. I took other tests (okcupid, RAADS-R, Asperger's Syndrome Test) and they seem to consistently towards me not being NT. The hard part was answering the tests that seemed to be focused around diagnosing children. I had to honestly remember how I acted when I was younger and before I improved my coping skills (I can function well professionally when I try, but I have a difficult time in a managerial role. Socially, I have few friends (almost no close friends now) and my dating/sex life is a wasteland. I may improve my ability to get platonic friends outside of work, but my sex/dating life is not likely to improve. I don't think it's likely to learn those skills at age 36 that I should have learned as a teen with women my own age.) Also, reading this forum and identifying with many of the posters.

Given that, I suspect I might be some where on the spectrum, even if mildly.

I am unlikely to get officially diagnosed for the following reasons:
1) I can maintain a job even if my behaviors/social abilities limit my promotion prospects (I really handle stress badly and managing others and being responsible for proposals cause me a lot of stress. Given high levels of stress, death becomes an attractive option.)
2) I can live alone (I prefer it) (my dogs keep me company)
3) I don't trust that the USA wouldn't try to limit my rights in the future (ie, aspie's are dangerous, disqualify them from gun ownership, etc...)
4) I don't see being elegible for social services

Amazing replies by all! I really want to thank everyone for helping me along my journey (yes I am a softie inside even though I tend to be a hard-a-- outside... and internet tends to get my inside)...

Its great to hear opinions, and while I am still not confident enough to say I am in the boat yet, I will admit that I know how it floats and that I may either be in the boat or on the dock next to it.

One of the things that happened for me is: I take care of my disabled mother with severe arthritis and depression issues... One night I decided for our nightly social interaction that I would bring up my recent interest (this forum, and the potential that I may relate to the situation). As I explained the symptoms she said "oh! that explains that, and that explains that, and that explains that" etc...

Which changed my mind. I had pretty much decided nope, I am too empathetic to be someone with Aspergers. Which isn't entirely true. its been explained to me recently that while I am convinced that I know how others feel that generally I just know how life goes and not exactly how a specific individual feels... which fits... because... well... I've payed intent attention to how people are, especially in relation to their age and their culture.

I will have to read this thread several times, but already I have a lot of thought that can help me so I want to thank you all a very very much!

I'm not professionally diagnosed yet (although so far 2 professionals agree I should be tested, no medical care yet). I came to this conclusion last summer. I was very upset about things in my life and visiting a social anxiety forum that I checked into once and a while. Someone mentioned AS and it clicked.

I took the online tests and remembered the girl from ANTM. Then I read through as much stuff online as I could. I also read a lot of threads here before I actually had the nerve to join. I got up the nerve to go check out any related books from our local library too. I also previewed a bunch of books on my ereader and eventually bought a couple. I watched a bunch of YouTube videos (I still do) and every movie I could get my hands on that was somewhat related.

In the past when I've wondered about things (related to me) doing this type of research would have dissuaded me from the notion. I've never really found anything that has given me pause related to AS (aside from being bad at math, which it seems that all autistic people being math savants is just a stereotype). The motor skills thing really resonated with me. Some of the stuff (like stimming) I've realized was controlled to a point due to discipline from others.

At first I cried, a lot. I also was very scared and thought that it meant I was the "r word" just because that's another stereotype. I never really knew anything about autistic people.

The Wired article about all the Aspergers and Autism in Silicon Valley. It resonated. I asked a psych I was seeing at the time and he said he didn't think I was an Aspie - at the time I was diagnosed with cyclothymia/ADHD.

Fast forward a few years to a new psych. After a few visits, asks me to take a quiz along with our interview, then during our next meeting starts to summarize the diangosis... one or two sentences in, I ask "are you diagnosing me with Aspergers?" and got a straight "yes." To be fair, I'm supposedly pretty high functioning with a lot of coping mechanisms in place developed over all the years of not knowing what was wrong with me, why I couldn't seem to understand people, etc.

My self-diagnosis turned out to be correct, but even then there wasn't an awful lot of support out there for those of us diagnosed as adults.

I'm not exactly self-diagnosed, since I'd rather say I'm neither here nor there.

I first suspected some form of autism because of my life-long battles with sensory overload. After that time, I found that my minor issues with eye contact, facial recognition, fine motor development, and social skills (to some extent) were consistent as well. However, I had normal verbal development and the tests I've taken give me no clear answer here or there. Furthermore I feel that at this point in my life a formal diagnosis would only be detrimental for my career. So for now I stay in hiding about it, until my situation changes. I know I'm not NT, but I am not convinced I am AS or ASD either... I guess I'm just me.

I'm not really self-diagnosed, I'm in a period of confusion and I'm not sure about what I am. I first started researching AS because my boyfriend has it and I was really curious about what it was since he didn't seem strange to me (well of course a little, but because he's not me so there are some differences like with everybody else who is not me). Also I wanted to be as informed as possible in order to avoid behaviours that would hurt him. Slowly I started seeing so much of me in what I found out (not sure if that is due to the "medical student's syndrome" or not) that I started taking tests on the internet, then joined this site, watched a lot of youtube videos (also the same ones several times), took the tests again, read other stuff, talked with my boyfriend about my social problems, read other stuff, made lists of reasons why I might and why I might not have it, read other stuff... I asked a lot of questions to my mum and to my friend - now they think I'm a hypochondriac - and didn't find neither objective proof that I have it or objective proof that I don't.

Things that make me think I might have it:
- I don't understand people. Period.
- I have 1 friend and a half
- I have troubles with organization skills
- I have short attention span for things I don't care much about but extremely long attention span for things I like
- As a child I used to have a semi-obsessive interest, and there is something I can do for consecutive days 24/7 (drawing)
- As a child I was a chatterbox but I became very quiet after saying inappropriate things
- I do repeated things like I can watch the same movie five times in a day
- I am sound and light sensitive, not to the point of meltdowns but to the point of high anxiety at parties and concerts or having to close my eyes when the kitchen light is on or I'm in the car at night and all the other cars have lights on
- I'm very precise and detail oriented for some things (like correcting teachers in school )
- I have problems sleeping, always have
- I'm clumsy
- I'm stubborn, I can go on discussing for hours
- I need a lot of time to myself
- I'm generally not hypochondriac, like I have a lot of abnormal moles but I don't continuously think I have a melanoma
- My boyfriend suggested I might have it

Things that make me think I might not have it:
- I don't care about having specific routines. I like change and traveling
- If I concentrate I can make eye contact and understand body language (but I can't do that and talk at the same time)
- I am expressive, I can get very excited and show it
- As a child I was pretty open and I can't remember sensory issues except for hatred for sunlight and things like fireworks so I suppose they weren't that severe
- My IQ might explain some things (unusual interests, refusal to accept hierarchy based on something other than effective knowledge) - but I'm not that gifted
- A psychiatrist I wrote to told me it's unlikely that I have it because I just mentioned my social issues and he said I probably just don't like talking with other people, but he didn't seem to know much about it (he said that having high IQ is the only symptom I seem to have in common with it but it's not a symptom, also he called it a disease)
- I'm not very precise and detail oriented for other things, like I'm very good at understanding math and I like it but when I have to do exercises I always forget something because I'm so distracted
- I have broader interests now, in the same field (science) but they are broader

Things that make me confused:
- I don't know how significant something has to be in order to be "clinically significant"
- I don't really have a good perception of myself
- I might have concentrated too much on the things that make me think I have it for instance when talking with my boyfriend so the objectivity of everything (tests etc.) might be compromised

Yeah I wrote too much. And yeah I'm going to use this post for personal purposes: does anybody have an advice? I'm really confused

I hadn't really heard much about autism, from what I knew, it was severe.

I was having increasing difficulties in my undergraduate studies, not that I hadn't struggled with school all along, but it was my third major shift, completely unnrelated to my last studies. I thought I may have an executive dysfunction of some sort, because of my inability to focus.

I went in for testing but turns out they diagnosed me with Non-verbal learning disorder. I ended up doing research at this point, massive amounts, all about executive impairments, where-in the term Asperger's came to me.. a friend two years prior had said something about the Syndrome, because her mother had worked with someone on the spectrum. Apparently NVLD is related to people on the spectrum, many people who have ASD also have some form of learning disability. So I researched that and, bam, found a specialist and was diagnosed with AS.

Because of all the research I did on executive dysfunction I was able to properly self-diagnose and find a good psychologist.

The only metaphor I can give is discovering that I had this syndrome has been akin to watching a flower open from a bud to bloom. The more I read from others on the spectrum the more I realize that there is more differences than I was led to believe about myself, being late diagnosed and all. Now that I know I have a syndrome all my "problems" seem more apparent, whereas before there was just a sheen about them, that would subside, and I'd forget about my sensitivity-sensory issues, odd social moments, lack of intimacy (before diagnosis I was told it simply wasn't normal to not have a romantic relationship by the time you were 24), etc.

I don't know what's worse, being blind-folded, or taking off the blind-fold and being overcome by the light.

My first time reading about AS, I did a double take. Although reasonably high functioning, telltale symptoms accurately reflected my condition. I was pretty confident that I was an aspie, but went to a doctor for confirmation a few months later. I didn't mention my suspicions, and the doctor independently came to the same conclusions. I'm definitely glad I went for a professional opinion, otherwise I'd be constantly second guessing my self diagnosis; virtually all criteria are very qualitative and attempts to map to a numerical scale is inherently subject to huge bias based on the individual.

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I think I have a great start. The idea is I don't want to waste money on a negative diagnosis, and if I can decide that this is what causes my misalignments I may not have a desire to get a professional diagnosis. However, if I figure out that I am a little further down the spectrum then I can save money.

I have verbal issues, I studder, I fumble over my words, as a kid I learned to read silently before I could read aloud... My brain talks much faster than my mouth can... an example I joke about and people usually laugh and agree is Jeff Goldblum when he plays nerdy roles in movies. (so most of his movies)

sensory is a yes, obsession is a yes, faceblindednessthing uh huh, eye contact... I want to say no and yes... eye contact is NOT natural... I wish that culture felt it to be awkward to make eye contact, but I can easily force myself to comply. However, generally it takes about 40% of my total focus to maintain simi normal levels of eye contact (that one fascinates me as a potential symptom btw I figured I was just over-thinking things)

However, I consider myself a very empathetic person... I believe that I can figure out how someone feels by looking at them, listening to them, and interacting with them. It wasn't until the last year or so that I've questioned this ability and started to think "what if I am just analyzing the situation and hypothesizing... and perhaps am wrong much more often than I suspect"

Anyway my personal search so far has contained a few online tests [facetious]online tests are the best way to diagnose every disease[/facetious] I've come here and read up a bunch, read up on some websites... and heather is soooooooo great btw! (I was rooting for her, but had a different favorite that season, heather was my second fav.)

I was introduced to the term "aspergers" from Boston Legal when the lawyer Jerry sort of made a goofy yet somewhat touching demonstration of things. (not sure if people here hate or love that character but I was in love with that entire show because of it's ability to make light of so many diverse topics no matter how inaccurate)

My self journey will probably continue through the next couple of months and then after I've decided if this fits part or all of my off-track situation then I'll decide from there if I want official diagnosis. For me, the benefit of it would be the "ah ha! someone says I am right" which is an important part of my life.

When I was growing up, I was "different" and teased...in junior high/high school, I tried to find out why. I told my mom I thought I had bipolar disorder or something..I was so depressed about what I now realize are my Asperger's symptoms and was depressed at the mask I found myself wearing to now fit in (I was no longer teased)

The recent NYTimes article with Jack and Kirsten lead me here; I was originally doing research to try and understand my partner more, as he exhibits many very classic male Aspergian traits. It wasn't until I put the inkling I got reading about Kirsten together with what other women were saying here that the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't think before that I could have been autistic because I had only had exposure to diagnosed male Aspergians and I didn't fit the profile very well; however I always got on very well with them.

My best friend in high school, I now realize looking back was most likely an aspergirl as well (her younger brother was much farther down the spectrum as far as his symptoms were concerned; he could barely speak)

I am very hesitant to seek diagnosis for fear of job discrimination and loss/increase of price of health insurance, however I am SO happy to have found the missing piece; I can stop fighting myself so much

So I love America's Next Top Model and season 9 had a girl with Aspergers, and since I love researching psychology I googled it and I was like OMG that is so me! And so I started researching more and more and took this online quiz thing, and then made a checklist of all the symptoms that matched my characteristics, and that was that......

I was flipping through the channels and came across the Doctors tv show they were discussing Autism Spectrum disorders. When they got Asperger's syndrome it sounded like they were describing me. But when they mentioned kids who were diagnosed with ADHD in the 60's,70's, and early 90's might actually have Aspergers so it clicked with me since I was diagnosed with ADHD but felt I was not learning disabled.

I was reading an article about Bram Cohen and it attributed his problem solving skills and ability to write computer programs to Asperger's Syndrome. The article briefly described some of the attributes of AS, and it sounded just like me. So I started researching AS.
Finally my life made sense. All the years of being bullied in school. The drive to acquire scientific knowledge. Being able to remember everything I read (related to science). Preferring to be alone and work on projects alone. The more I learned about AS the more the parts fell into place.
All of the online tests I have taken say I'm an Aspie.

Pooh Bear

I've always known I was different from other people - a "loner" who had trouble fitting in but as a child I always attributed it to losing my mother at an early age, moving around a lot during the first seven years including immigrating from the U.S. to England and having a father who drank a lot and was fairly volatile. I''ve always had an interest in psychology and even studied it a bit at school but I could never find any criteria that described someone like me. It was only when a colleague pointed out that I might have ADD due to my disorganized work style that I started doing some research on the internet, particularly googling specific attributes that I display. Once I started reading about AS, everything fell into place. It seemed that everything that I thought was strange about myself was something that a lot of Aspies did. I then started reading books like Tony Attwood and Lianne Holliday and Ruby Simone and learned about the different characteristics girls display. Before, I'd vaguely known about AS and autism, but always thought it was only "rainman" type symptoms so I never associated it with myself. The looking at the forum posts on websites like WP, I realized that other people are going through the exact same thing, although of course, we are all unique in what combination of traits we have and how it effects us.

Everything from my now extensive reading seems to apply to me. For instance,as a little child I was very bright, learned to speak and read prematurely but had all sots of behavioral problems. I did not socialize well, did not like to share or take turns, would speak out of turn or not at all, was clumsy and often said or did inappropriate things. I was a frequent toe walker, was very fussy about food and very sensitive to scratchy clothing, labels,and any clothes which irritated under the arms or knees. I was always cold. I got upset very easily and was extremely sensitive to criticism. I always had one or two good friends but was never a great socialiser. My special interests were never that outlandish or extreme and I often could make a TV Show, pop group, toy or guy I liked a "special interest" which made me more "normal". As I became more comfortable with people I became a better conversationalist and improved upon eye contact and situation appropriate behavior but things were still not quite right. I was always more friendly with animals then people and better with people older or younger than me.At school I was very good at the subjects I was interested in but mediocre at everything else because i would not devote the time each subject deserved. . This tendency became more pronounced as I grew older. I was also a late developer physically and as a teen mentally still preferred childish activities. I had an eating disorder for about a year but nothing so serious that I was ever treated for it. I was always thin so no one really noticed that I had lost too much weight and when I left home for college I somehow overcame it. As I grew up I learned to hide my Aspie traits to a great extent and because I didn't really know what was wrong, I tried to do everything everone else did. I still had trouble socializing as I have a great need to be alone some of the time and get exhausted if I am in large groups too much. I kind of shut down at some point and people interepret it as being rude or dull. As an adult I have a fairly successful career, probably could hav egot further without the AS, but I've learned to compromise for the right working environment. I still have difficulties with keeping relationships both intimate and friendships, have a great need to be alone some of the time and still have many sensory issues, organization and communication difficulties. I therefore seem to be stuck in the lifestyle of a perpetual 20 year old where all my friends and family have moved on - got married, had kids,
started their own businesses, toured Asia, etc.

It was dissatisfaction with my skills compared to others which led me to search the internet and read up on it. At the momement I don't really have the time or money for counseling and I'm not sure it would help too much at this point. (I'm in my early 40s). I'm positive I'm an When I first realized I had AS after learning about it, my first thought was amazement and anger that my parents and teachers did not pick up on it. Surely, they must have seen all my symptoms and known something was not right. I guess in those days, aspergers wasn't an official diagnosis - they just knew about autism- and because I learned to hide it pretty well, I fell under the radar. I know Atwood, Simone and Holliday among others believe this is common among girls. Still, if all this information is out there and even I can recognize my own traits, I'd have though someone else would have. I really wish I'd known about it earlier as I had always attributed my strangeness to being "selfish," "crazy," "mean," or "wierd" and it made me feel inadequate as a person. Now I take a certain pride in being able to overcome a challenge which not everyone else has and still accomplish what I did. When an NT appears to criticize or disparage soem Aspie trait of mine, I think I wonder if you would still do that if you knew I had a disability.

I think an official diagnosis would really have heped me when I as a kid as I'd have got counselling and social traning and would probably have had much better confidence and self esteem growing up. It may have got me special accomodations at college too. On the other hand, I may not have got as far as I did career wise or socially in some of the things I do if I'd been diagnosed. I may have used the AS as an excuse not to do certain things which I pushed myself to do.

Anyway, my advice if you are trying to self-diagnose is follow your instincts. List your "symptoms" and traits, google them compare them to those noted in AS studies and informally in forums like WP, take an online test and, if you have the opportunity, talk to or observe others who have been officially diagnosed or their relatives to see if there are similarities. then decide if you want to make it official.