Ways to discourage/redirect a new special interest

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LtlPinkCoupe
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13 Jan 2012, 11:18 pm

I like the ideas about giving him literature about guns, talking to him about the military, etc. That's kind of a way of allowing his interests to flourish without directly indulging them. I personally wouldn't recommend buying the Aerosoft gun - I once talked to a former friend of mine and he told me that his younger brother went after him with one of those once - and apparently, they HURT if they're shot at people. 8O But, from the sound of things, you weren't planning on buying it for him anyway, so, just feel free to ignore that. :D

But yeah, I don't see how you could go wrong with giving him information about guns - such as Guns and Ammo, as another poster suggested. Or, if his dad's into hunting, maybe it could become something that the two of them enjoy doing together as a father - son thing...I personally don't really agree with hunting, but it's a possibility that it could become a bonding thing for the two of them...sorry, not trying to imply that they're not already "bonded"... :oops:

What a couple other posters mentioned about "not feeling safe" really jumped out at me...I'm not AS really (just a few traits here and there) but a couple of my interests are cars and the Transformers (the Autobots in particular). When I say "Cars," I actually mean anthropomorphized Cars - like the characters in the Pixar movies. I don't know why this is, myself, but for me, anthro Cars are guardians, protectors...they're fast, they're large, many of them completely dwarf humans in terms of size, etc. My interest in Cars really took off when I was going thru a really bad experience around the time the first Cars movie came out - I was 14 and my mother was forcing me to go to this "day camp" that was really a thinly - disguised institutional setting where I was emotionally abused by another girl a little older than me. The only thing that made my world bright around that time was coming home to my little die cast Cars toys...I'd play with them up in my loft bed and wish that they were real so that they could be my friends and protect me.

And as for my interest in Transformers....well, let's see...the Autobots come from Cybertron to defend Earth from an evil, opposing robot race that wants to enslave/kill all humans, they work alongside the nations' soldiers/National Guard units and keep on the lookout for any Decepticon uprisings, Bumblebee acts as Sam's guardian and even tags along with him to college....honestly, I don't see how anyone could not associate the Autobots with feeling safe. :wink:

But anyway, back to "not feeling safe..." this is going to sound kinda dumb, but maybe you could encourage your stepson to make up gun "characters?" Like, imaginary friends that he can talk to/get advice from, so he can feel safe with them and won't necessarily crave the real thing?

Anyway, that's all the advice I have to offer ATM....you can just take what you want to use and leave the rest. :) Hope this helps.


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Chronos
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14 Jan 2012, 1:35 am

I don't really see the problem. When I was younger they still sold toy guns at KMart.

But there is something far more interesting than guns, and joy of joys, he and his father can build one, and that's called, a trebuchet.



Aspie1
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14 Jan 2012, 12:17 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Also, is there a paint ball place near you? That looks like so much fun! You could take him there and have teams. The idea is to "kill" the other team. It doesn't hurt to get shot with one, we have had them and played in the yard with them, and the woods.

I disagree. Getting shot with a paintball does hurt; it even leaves little bruises, called weals or welts. You can minimize that by playing in cold weather, when you're wearing a sweatshirt, a jacket, and thick pants. (And for males, a protective cup eliminates a lot of worries.) But yes, paintballing is fun. It's like CounterStrike in played in real life, in a very realistic combat setting. You run around, hiding behind trees, fake buildings, and/or barricades, while shooting at other players and avoiding getting shot yourself. I played it as an adult, and it was so much fun. I was so into the game, that I barely felt any pain from getting hit, other than a momentary "ow, I just shot", with all the adrenaline surging. It's very good for people who work a stressful job, since an hour of realistic combat reduces built-up stress dramatically.

At the same time, I disagree with "killing" the other team. Paintball organizations always emphasize the exercise and excitement aspects, rather than violence; they even refer to paintball weapons as "markers", rather than "guns". So the violence aspect is a non-issue, and workers at paintball ranges are very strict about enforcing safety rules.



munch15a
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15 Jan 2012, 6:32 am

Look painting balling is not a bad idea but it dose so hurt you get welts all over you by the end of the day.



DW_a_mom
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15 Jan 2012, 11:59 am

Boys and guns, oh my!

I learned early on with my son that this was not going to go away, so the focus became context, and not redirection or suppression. I am VERY anti-gun, so this wasn't a shift I made lightly. Turns out he wasn't all that keen about full size toys ones, however; his interest is more conceptual.

It is actually my daughter who owns a toy gun. Nerf. A birthday gift from a friend that is a boy (by then I had loosened up).

Our rules are that the toy gun is only played inside or in our backyard. If it gets taken somewhere, it has to be disassembled and packed into a box. I've told the kids about the accidental shootings, and made it clear I consider these rules sufficiently life and death that breaking them means getting rid of the toy.

It actually makes a really cool self-calming device for our son. Something about focusing to shoot a target that clears his head.

I like the way MomSparky connected the toy to her son's behavior. This is very real world: people who are violent will find their ability to own guns cut off.

Context.


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