I think that I have PTSD

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I really think that I have post traumatic stress disorder.
I have these really painful and realistic flashbacks and dreams. I was physically and mentally bullied in school and I can't stop thinking about it. I blame myself for being bullied and have no self-esteem at all. I sometimes dont feel motivated to do anything except lie in bed and cry. I fear forming close relationships with other people but I really want close relationships.

I remember every little thing about my childhood. When having flashbacks I cry and feel the same emotions that I did as a teenager. I now have a severe social phobia especially around teenagers.

In school I used to draw and write as an escape. Now I cant even pick up a sketchpad without having a panic attack or crying.
I dont know too much about PTSD but I think being physically bullied can cause it.

I keep dreaming about my time in primary school as well.

Yeah it certainly sounds like you have it, I'm positive it can occur from ongoing trauma & not from just one big traumatic event, I think it can be worse if from ongoing trauma because this usually encompasses everything in life which leaves an awful lot of things to fear & trigger future ongoing bouts of stress.

I myself can't remember much from primary school apart from a feeling of bliss & fun probably because I wasn't ware of much. Post primary I refer to in my mind as hell, a never ending hell which I finally seem to have escaped from, problem is hell tainted every single part of my life & now I fear everything & suffer from extreme stress release & utter confusion outside of my very small comfort zone.

Even i suffer from PTSD. I witnessed severe voilence as a child my parents and elder brother were extremely voilent beating me with sticks, belts and anything they could grab.
I keep getting flashbacks, dreams and also extreme loneliness.
though i want company of people i crave for it im unable to make any relationships and infact most of the people avoid me
because of my lack of energy, enthusiasm

I had it for about a year after the first time I had sex. It was a particularly upsetting event for me. I felt guilty that I even felt that way because 'normal' people lose their virginity without being traumatised by it. I didn't want to tell people. It's hard to write this now. Just coming on here and writing what you did took courage.

Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for being traumatised; that only makes it worse. *hugs*

Thanks for the advice but it is hard not to feel guilty. I have never spoken about the past traumatic events until recently.

I understand what you mean. I am still working through my PTSD and I have often felt guilty when I started having flashbacks, etc in front of my partner. Sometimes he will touch me or do something and I will start screaming...it's a gut reaction. What is so hard about PTSD is that the guilt makes you not want to reach out to others...but not reaching out to others makes things worse.

If there is someone in your life that you feel you can trust, try to open up to them. It helps when people can be there for you in those difficult moments.

I have complex ptsd from a 6 month sexual abuse when I was 17 (abuser was my high school teacher). From what you describe, I would say you likely have it. PTSD can get better. Go to someone who specializes in it. Don't give up on yourself! You can get better. Best wishes to you!

what is the conventional cure for PTSD is it medicines, counselling does the medicine go on for life long are they medicines for depression
what does the treatment process involve

textbook case

Well PTSD is an anxiety disorder based on a traumatic experience. As far as I know, cognitive behavioral therapy is very common in the treatment of PTSD as it deals with trying to change damaging thought patterns and find new coping mechanisms. However, I guess they have group therapies and definitely medicine to help with the physical symptoms of the condition. Plus counselling is probably a good source of support.

I guess the only I can suggest is that you contact your GP and explain your symptoms and where you can seek help. Of course, the waiting list for these treatments might be very long though they might make yours a high priority if your PTSD severely affects your day to day life. You always have wrongplanet and there are also many online resources and forums about PTSD.

I found this link - I don't know if it would be any use to you: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_a ... s_disorder

Sorry I can't be more useful. I hope you can find the help you need.

Yeah it's possible, I feel like the worst all the crap that went on in my childhood caused was worsened depression, anxiety and a bit of learned helplessness. But I ended up with PTSD after some a**hole decided take out what ever the hell his problem was on some students and shot one....I did not see any of it but I was at the school and we all knew something was going on. And what you described sounds like it could be due to PTSD symptoms.

It doesnt interfere with my day to day life
But yes im socially awkward, recluse, also im unable to handle my son well i cant be the all round mother

My new psychiatrist has no doubt that I have PTSD.
I just have not been fully diagnosed. I was told that it takes time to diagnose.

i have F62,0 incl PTSD from child abuse + sexual abuse in my child hood.
I got bullied aswell every day in my childhood!!

I've read that chronic bullying can cause what is known as complex PTSD. This site has some good info about bullying and PTSD

http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm#Causes of PTSD

People always want to write off bullying as "human nature" but it has profound and long-lasting effects if it is continuous. It's not human nature, it's people deliberately being jerks for the most part. I have no desire to take advantage of people weaker than me and yet people do the same to me.