Haircuts - Help!! !

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My ten-year-old son has autism. Every since he was a toddler, he yelled, screamed, cried and basically threw a fit whenever he had to get a haircut. I have learned over the years how to cut his hair. It hasn't gotten easier. Now, he is much stronger and thrashes about and kicks. He is so wound up that I think he might pass out from crying so hard and hyperventilating.

We've broken down the haircut over four days - tops only, sides and back, around the ears and finally the neck. He does great except when we have to cut around his ears and neck. My husband has to hold him down in order for us to do it. But, once it's done, my son bounces back and says, "I did pretty good? I only cried a little?" On the other hand, I am left frazzled, feeling horrible, and absolutely wiped out.

We've tried distracting him with movies, chewing gum, licking a lollipop, wearing ear plugs, etc. but nothing seems to work. We can only use scissors because the noise of the buzz clippers makes him even more upset.

Does it get better? Any insight on when this extreme sensitivity finally fades? I can't see myself trying to hold him down when he is a very strong 16 year old.

Many thanks for reading this and offering any comments or suggestion you might have.

My son is only 3 1/2 so I know you have your hands much fuller than I do so I sympathize. I've learned to cut my son's hair with scissors too. I always had to cut his hair in the bath tub until recently because it was enclosed enough that he couldn't run away and being in the water kept him in a relatively good mood. He moves constantly though - sitting, standing, running in circles around me, shaking his head, trying to take the scissors ... almost impossible. I made a habit of trimming his hair every time he was in the tub to help desensitize him to the experience and as a means of touching up whatever parts I may've missed during the last trim. I also made a habit of moving my fingers through his hair as though I were going to cut it every day. Only recently have I been able to get him to sit still during a hair cut ... I bought him a new iphone app prior to cutting his hair, he was so engrossed in his game he allowed me to give him a good hair cut. My way of coping was to cut his hair very often even though it was an awful experience to desensitize him to it and also to give him something distracting to play with during the cut.... I tried movies too, that never worked for me either. Because your son is older I doubt it would be a good idea to suddenly start cutting his hair all the time like I did with mine, but if he uses something like an ipad than a new app might help with distracting him. Wish I had more suggestions.

I wonder if you did "haircuts" every day if it would get better? Like if you went through the steps and just cut a tiny bit, or maybe just fake cut it. It would be like intensive desensitizing. I'd imagine like 2 weeks and then every other day, and every 3 days, etc. The more exposure, the easier it will get. It might be worth talking to a psychologist with experience with exposure therapy.

I can say that I had an extreme phobia to spiders, to the point of not being able to look at a picture. The only thing that got me over it was looking at pictures of spiders every day, then real spiders, getting close to them, etc. I still don't like them, but I don't cry or hyperventilate when I see one.

One other thought is to do the haircut where ever he is the most comfortable even if it's not really the best place for a hair cut. If he always gets his hair cut in the same place in the same chair just being sent there to get his hair cut might start building up his anxiety before you even start cutting, I just spring hair cuts on my son where ever he happens to be and worry about vacuuming up the hair later.

Please forgive me if this is too extreme.

Extremely painful/stressful operations are often assisted by sedatives. I really appreciated laughing gas when I had my wisdom teeth removed and the Demerol I got when I had gyno operation was a Godsend. Some folks need Valium to endure the fear of air travel. Is there something a Doc could prescribe to take the "edge off" haircuts?

Let it grow until he asks to have it cut, or just let him have long hair. I'm just saying. I understanding this might not be possible; though... why not?

What about cutting it while he's sleeping?

It gets better, odds are, he will get more normal. All Aspies/Autistics do with time. (Unless its super bad) But yeah, he'll get over that stuff... probably (I'm 15, I used to hate showers but I'm fine with them now.)

Long hair will not corrupt the child.

I'd just let it grow, unless he has an aversion to brushing or combing it. Even then, he could grow dredlocks. That's probably the best no maintenance hairstyle out there.

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why must the hair be cut?

I agree with the previous poster who recommended a sedative. We have the same issues but luckily I have a girl and scraggily long hair is more acceptable.

Look into Vistaril to use only as needed for haircuts to calm him down. It is an antihistamine, very safe, but your doctor will need to prescribe it.

This may be too late for him but we never call them hair "cuts". That word is scary. We say trim. The way you describe him jumping up afterwards it sounds like the problem may be more in his anxiety about the eventrather than a sensory issue about the trim itself.

On one hand I would agree with those that say let it grow but on the other hand then you deal with knots and brushing which can be more difficult, although a good conditioner and combing it out in the bath or shower can relieve some of that difficulty.

Here's an idea (only halfway tongue in cheek here). If you were to go the sedative route, buzz it as short as you can then you would be able to go a lot longer in between trims.

....

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com