Why do you feel bad about being single and alone?

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Why do you feel bad about being single and alone?
societal pressure 3%  3%  [ 4 ]
societal pressure 4%  4%  [ 5 ]
parental pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
parental pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
peer pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
peer pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
biological (pressure from yourself) 19%  19%  [ 25 ]
biological (pressure from yourself) 38%  38%  [ 49 ]
combination of the above 11%  11%  [ 14 ]
combination of the above 22%  22%  [ 28 ]
Total votes : 129

fiooo
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19 Jan 2012, 11:13 pm

Is it biological or is it due to societal pressure? I understand that by your twenties and thirties, it is expected that you have or are dating someone. I see a lot of threads of people complaining of being alone. What I am curious about is the cause of that. Is it biological or is it pressure from other people (parents, family, friends)? Or is it just envy because you want something that other people have but you don't have?



Lady-ivy
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19 Jan 2012, 11:32 pm

I have been single for a year now. So of corse am looking for a mate. The problem with me is that am leaning towards having physical attraction to men from my culture especial those with Indian heritage. So that limits my dating pool. But I dont mind



Last edited by Lady-ivy on 19 Jan 2012, 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Radiofixr
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19 Jan 2012, 11:33 pm

I do want to experience what my peers have-and they tell me you aren't missing much and oh its not that great-but I don't see them giving up intimate relations while telling me its no big deal-so it must be pretty good to experience


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hale_bopp
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20 Jan 2012, 3:20 am

You missed out an option: I don't.



CrazyCatLord
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20 Jan 2012, 4:05 am

It's entirely biological for me.

Rationally, I know that I'm better off alone due to my social anxiety and my inability to cope with stress (relationships inevitably cause stress, it's never just sunshine and rainbows). Besides, I think it's a very bad idea to perpetuate my genes because several of my medical problems have a genetic component.

But my limbic system / subconscious doesn't listen to reason and keeps screaming "get out there and mate! Procreate! Find a partner who will support you in your old age!" :roll: It's literally depressing. Research has shown that single men have a greater incidence of depression and stress-related disorders, have a lower life expectancy, and are five times more likely to commit suicide.

It has gotten better over the years though. I felt a lot more desperate when I was young, partially due to peer pressure and my desire to prove that I'm not gay, at least not entirely (as everyone seemed to think). I've more or less come to terms with my situation. I've read that people come to accept their place in life somewhere between age 35 and 50 and become less ambitious, so it should only get easier from here on in. Once I reach the "git off my lawn!" stage, I might be completely content with myself :D



nick007
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20 Jan 2012, 5:00 am

It's pretty obvious to most people after they met me a bit that I would have problems getting in a relationship so no one ever pressures me about being single. I hate being alone thou because I function aLOT better when I have someone, I feel lonely & I hate sleeping alone


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Magnus_Rex
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20 Jan 2012, 7:09 am

Honestly, I do not know. I am not interested in living with another person or having children (I have no patience for crying/misbehaving children). I lack emotions. I avoid people, specially when they are getting closer to me. I am not really interested in sex. I prefer to be alone (in fact, I intend to get out of my house as soon as possible, to live alone). Also, now that I finally managed to start a conversation with a girl on OkCupid, I really want her to stop talking to me so I can just delete my account.

There is no reason at all for me to want a girlfriend or even friends. I expect to eventually stop caring about those. I will feel much better then.



izzeme
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20 Jan 2012, 7:47 am

mainly bioligical; there are many moments in which i internally know i'd need someone close to me, to either cuddle up, cry against or just to slap me into starting my projects...



fiooo
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20 Jan 2012, 10:48 am

hale_bopp wrote:
You missed out an option: I don't.


Oops...I completely forgot about that. And I can't change it anymore. But surely at one point, you must have felt it? And then you got over it. At least that's how I feel...



1000Knives
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20 Jan 2012, 11:45 am

I kinda don't, too. If I ever do feel bad about it, it's usually just from other people bothering me about it, so societal. But, if I'm alone, I'm not lonely, actually.



gadge
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20 Jan 2012, 11:53 am

the simplest way of putting it is

just want someone to share life with. the good and the bad,
to be there for each other, to make each other laugh, to tell the truth even if hurtful. to ask if they don't know, to say something if they do......

well I guess it is not that simple.


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mv
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20 Jan 2012, 12:15 pm

For me, it's more like I feel peripherally bad. I don't care so much day-to-day, but I hate having to go to couple-y things alone (weddings, parties, dinner parties). I always get treated as though I'm trying to steal other people's men, even though I'm very, very careful with my interactions. Or else people pity me or don't really know how to interact with me, since most of the banter is couple-y.

Also, I'm of an age (in my 40's) where most people are coupled up, so my singleness especially sticks out. I don't like attention being drawn to me, no matter what.



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20 Jan 2012, 2:32 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
You missed out an option: I don't.


This ^^



CrazyStarlightRedux
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20 Jan 2012, 2:33 pm

Meh, I would just like a companion more so then a Girlfriend, since I don't think I am too bothered about it at the moment...although I do miss having a relationship. Companion ship is better then nothing.



MXH
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20 Jan 2012, 4:02 pm

I feel bad partly in feeling unwanted by everyone. Partly in being unhappy about that failure and partly because it just seems so easy for everyone else.



Boxman108
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20 Jan 2012, 5:25 pm

MXH wrote:
I feel bad partly in feeling unwanted by everyone. Partly in being unhappy about that failure and partly because it just seems so easy for everyone else.


Pretty much this. Hate feeling like I'm just the third wheel, if anything.


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