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nannyfairy
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23 Jan 2012, 3:41 pm

Married to an aspie for 29 years. A very good human bean I love him. Just don't know how to cope with him sometimes. He is being laid off from a job he loves and I know there will be temper tantrums ahead for me stay cool with.

I am 63 and worried about getting old with him and staying sane.



CosmicRuss
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23 Jan 2012, 5:25 pm

I presume your husband is of similar age to yourself so that is awful to be laid off at his age.
Could he try and find something else? I think all you can do is support him and keep him occupied with his time until something comes along.

Welcome to WP by the way. :)



peterd
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24 Jan 2012, 11:07 pm

As long as he's worried about staying sane too...

He may wake up after the shock's faded and find new enthusiasm. Will there be a separation payment? Do you work? Are your retirement incomes under control?



CrazyCatLord
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25 Jan 2012, 6:04 am

Aspies are creatures of habit. We need our daily routine. If we go through drastic changes in our lives, we feel lost and anxious and upset. It might take a few weeks or even months, but I think that your husband will eventually come to terms with it. I just hope that you can make ends meet without him having to find another job at his age.



Longshanks
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09 Feb 2012, 1:48 pm

I agree with CrazyCatLord. Routine for us is a very comforting thing. That's why I did so well in the military. It was filled with routine. Another thing to consider is how men think. (I'd recommend the book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus). We men identify ourselves by how we work. It's just an idiosyncracy of our gender. It is how we are wired. I can relate. Because of the cutbacks made by Pres. Obama, I've been cut from a full-time military position to a part-time reserve one, and I'm going nuts trying to find a full-time job. It's not easy and, being a legal and tax professional who analyzes numbers, it's going to get way worse. Again, I'm going by numbers - not politics. When Obama care kicks in, a number of employers (and a number of them have told me this) plan on laying off even more people because they simply cannot afford to keep them employed because of the cost. You can't change the laws of mathematics, and as most employers are small businesses, this is especially true - if you go strictly by the math. so both of us may be out of work for a long time to come. I know a brigadier general who was forcibly retired over a year ago. He's still looking for work. It's tough out there and the light at the end of the tunnel hasn't been reached yet know matter what the Labor Department says.


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