What the HELL is sexual tension?

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gailryder17
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03 Feb 2012, 8:02 pm

Today, my friends and I were joking around about guys I could possibly be with and I talked about how someone told me to stop hitting on people in relationships.

The guy told me this because I have a guy-friend, whom I spend a lot of time with at school, and people think we'd make a good couple (one time a rumor went around that we were dating).

My friend said, "Well you do sorta hit on him." I told her I didn't and she replied, "You sorta do subconsciously and there's some sexual tension."

They also said they thought it was cute when my guy-friend and I were sharing an umbrella in the rain at a football game.

Anyway, as to the whole "sexual tension" thing, how the HELL do you tell?


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Tequila
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03 Feb 2012, 8:03 pm

It's difficult to describe. Sometimes it feels 'flat', sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes it's all in yer head.



gailryder17
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03 Feb 2012, 8:04 pm

Tequila wrote:
It's difficult to describe. Sometimes it feels 'flat', sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes it's all in yer head.


What do you mean by "flat"?


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Tequila
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03 Feb 2012, 8:05 pm

gailryder17 wrote:
What do you mean by "flat"?


Well, the way a woman talks to you, approaches you, wants to be with you. Her scent. Her cuddles. The way she IMs you, like, all the time. And stuff. I'm sure that's how it goes.



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03 Feb 2012, 8:08 pm

It's exactly the same as regular tension. If people are telling you there's sexual tension between you and another person, pay attention next time you're in close proximity to each other physically (or even on the phone, I suppose):

Do you start breathing a little faster and/or shallower?
Do you feel like something's "pulling" you from the inside?
Do you fidget more than usual?
Are you biting your lip at all? Your nails? Wiggling your toes?

If so, then yes, there's sexual tension between the two of you. I define "sexual tension" as tension directly caused by the presence of another person, male or female. It's just another term for attraction.



gailryder17
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03 Feb 2012, 8:42 pm

BurningMoose wrote:
It's exactly the same as regular tension. If people are telling you there's sexual tension between you and another person, pay attention next time you're in close proximity to each other physically (or even on the phone, I suppose):

Do you start breathing a little faster and/or shallower?
Do you feel like something's "pulling" you from the inside?
Do you fidget more than usual?
Are you biting your lip at all? Your nails? Wiggling your toes?

If so, then yes, there's sexual tension between the two of you. I define "sexual tension" as tension directly caused by the presence of another person, male or female. It's just another term for attraction.


The breathing thing never happens to me. I fidget sometimes, but I fidget so much I can't tell the difference.


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MXH
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03 Feb 2012, 8:45 pm

gailryder17 wrote:
BurningMoose wrote:
It's exactly the same as regular tension. If people are telling you there's sexual tension between you and another person, pay attention next time you're in close proximity to each other physically (or even on the phone, I suppose):

Do you start breathing a little faster and/or shallower?
Do you feel like something's "pulling" you from the inside?
Do you fidget more than usual?
Are you biting your lip at all? Your nails? Wiggling your toes?

If so, then yes, there's sexual tension between the two of you. I define "sexual tension" as tension directly caused by the presence of another person, male or female. It's just another term for attraction.


The breathing thing never happens to me. I fidget sometimes, but I fidget so much I can't tell the difference.


Well it could be either you do also fidget related to being round the other person or your friends interpret those normal fidgets wrong.

The way i see the term sexual tension is when youre hidding your eelings of attraction towards someone in a almost subconscious level



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03 Feb 2012, 9:05 pm

If his pupils dilate, he's interested. This can be slightly hard to discern if he's an aspie, because he might just be looking through you. If you were making eye contact, it would be easier to tell because his pupils would be dilated WHILE he makes eye contact (assuming he's not aspie), but you probably won't be, so keep moving onto clue #2...

If he touches himself anywhere near his navel, he's absolutely interested. Even aspie guys do this. In fact, aspie guys do it the most blatantly of all. The best part is that 99% of guys don't realize why they're doing it, so when you see it, you know they're being honest about it because it's almost always subconscious. Be on the lookout for it... you'll see it everywhere.

Note: if a guy pinches his shirt near his navel, it's equivalent to touching his navel area. However, holding onto his tie is a bit more ambiguous. If he's pinching his tie AND his hand is near his navel, it's likely to be expressing interest. If he's pinching his tie and holding it as far away from his body as he can, it means you're scaring the bejesus out of him and he's terrified ;-)

If he lifts his shirt to scratch his navel, it means he's going to die if he doesn't have sex within 15 minutes. OK, just kidding about the "die" part, but generally, if you see a guy pull his shirt out, reach down, lift it up, and scratch... that's just about the most family-friendly green light you're ever going to see from a guy.


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03 Feb 2012, 9:11 pm

Fear of being dominated by a penis.


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03 Feb 2012, 9:39 pm

gailryder17 wrote:
Today, my friends and I were joking around about guys I could possibly be with and I talked about how someone told me to stop hitting on people in relationships.

The guy told me this because I have a guy-friend, whom I spend a lot of time with at school, and people think we'd make a good couple (one time a rumor went around that we were dating).

My friend said, "Well you do sorta hit on him." I told her I didn't and she replied, "You sorta do subconsciously and there's some sexual tension."

They also said they thought it was cute when my guy-friend and I were sharing an umbrella in the rain at a football game.

Anyway, as to the whole "sexual tension" thing, how the HELL do you tell?


Your avatar say's, you are 14. There are many forms and ways that sexual tension can occur. Here is a movie that shows subtle common characteristics of sexual tension and the subconscious longing for a relationship. The current teen films and current adult films did not capture the type of social interaction i wanted you to notice. Look at this film as the very fundamentals of flirting, realizing interest, and having sexual tension develop. Envision the plot of this film, as simply the background in which the story unfolds, recognizing the interactions between the characters occur in numerous social situations.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0bENHsyGPg[/youtube]


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03 Feb 2012, 10:52 pm

dr01dguy wrote:
If he touches himself anywhere near his navel, he's absolutely interested. Even aspie guys do this. In fact, aspie guys do it the most blatantly of all. The best part is that 99% of guys don't realize why they're doing it, so when you see it, you know they're being honest about it because it's almost always subconscious. Be on the lookout for it... you'll see it everywhere.

. . .

If he lifts his shirt to scratch his navel, it means he's going to die if he doesn't have sex within 15 minutes. OK, just kidding about the "die" part, but generally, if you see a guy pull his shirt out, reach down, lift it up, and scratch... that's just about the most family-friendly green light you're ever going to see from a guy.

Is this for real? :scratch: 8O If so, mind = blown. Like, I don't even know what to say. So, if this happens on multiple occasions, that would express serious interest? Wow.



gailryder17
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04 Feb 2012, 1:11 am

dr01dguy wrote:
If his pupils dilate, he's interested. This can be slightly hard to discern if he's an aspie, because he might just be looking through you. If you were making eye contact, it would be easier to tell because his pupils would be dilated WHILE he makes eye contact (assuming he's not aspie), but you probably won't be, so keep moving onto clue #2...

If he touches himself anywhere near his navel, he's absolutely interested. Even aspie guys do this. In fact, aspie guys do it the most blatantly of all. The best part is that 99% of guys don't realize why they're doing it, so when you see it, you know they're being honest about it because it's almost always subconscious. Be on the lookout for it... you'll see it everywhere.

Note: if a guy pinches his shirt near his navel, it's equivalent to touching his navel area. However, holding onto his tie is a bit more ambiguous. If he's pinching his tie AND his hand is near his navel, it's likely to be expressing interest. If he's pinching his tie and holding it as far away from his body as he can, it means you're scaring the bejesus out of him and he's terrified ;-)

If he lifts his shirt to scratch his navel, it means he's going to die if he doesn't have sex within 15 minutes. OK, just kidding about the "die" part, but generally, if you see a guy pull his shirt out, reach down, lift it up, and scratch... that's just about the most family-friendly green light you're ever going to see from a guy.


Wow. Mind. Blown.


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TM
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04 Feb 2012, 2:16 pm

Registered just to add a cent or two on this, the pupil dilation is a powerful tool as mentioned earlier, but keep in mind that dilated pupils are a sign of excitement in general. For instance, a lot of poker players wear dark glasses to hide it from their opponent since its a giveaway and can't be controlled in any way outside of various pharmaceuticals, oh yes and said pharmaceuticals can also cause dilated pupils. Other physical signs include shallow breathing and an increase in heartbeat. Both of these can be hard to spot, but a nice trick to check someones pulse is to "help them" with something, I tend to prefer computer problems, since it tends to appear natural when you place your hand on top of the hand they have on the mouse and place your thumb so you can feel their pulse. The added physical closeness will trigger their bodily response and is a key component for sexual tension.

Sexual tension is simply a word used to describe the tension created by mutual attraction and/or arousal between two or more people within a context. A good but excessively clichéd example is when one of the people engages physical contact and eye contact with the other within an innocent context. Yes, I realize that the preceding sentence would have been plenty.



Matt62
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04 Feb 2012, 2:56 pm

Do you ever hold his hand? If so, is his palm sweaty?
Hokey, I know BUT true! LOL

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04 Feb 2012, 3:37 pm

dr01dguy wrote:
If his pupils dilate, he's interested. This can be slightly hard to discern if he's an aspie, because he might just be looking through you. If you were making eye contact, it would be easier to tell because his pupils would be dilated WHILE he makes eye contact (assuming he's not aspie), but you probably won't be, so keep moving onto clue #2...

If he touches himself anywhere near his navel, he's absolutely interested. Even aspie guys do this. In fact, aspie guys do it the most blatantly of all. The best part is that 99% of guys don't realize why they're doing it, so when you see it, you know they're being honest about it because it's almost always subconscious. Be on the lookout for it... you'll see it everywhere.

Note: if a guy pinches his shirt near his navel, it's equivalent to touching his navel area. However, holding onto his tie is a bit more ambiguous. If he's pinching his tie AND his hand is near his navel, it's likely to be expressing interest. If he's pinching his tie and holding it as far away from his body as he can, it means you're scaring the bejesus out of him and he's terrified ;-)

If he lifts his shirt to scratch his navel, it means he's going to die if he doesn't have sex within 15 minutes. OK, just kidding about the "die" part, but generally, if you see a guy pull his shirt out, reach down, lift it up, and scratch... that's just about the most family-friendly green light you're ever going to see from a guy.


Are you sure about this navel thing? I don't THINK I've ever done anything like that...though I wouldn't SWEAR I never have. I can't remember anyone doing anything like that either....though I'm probably not the best to pick up on clues LOL

My GUESS is if you're a girl, and he's a guy, and he likes you, that there's at least SOME sexual tension on his part-I mean that he's probably at least THOUGHT about being in a relationship with you...would be my guess, even if it's not something you've thought about.