what should I have done/said?

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My mother told me by telephone, that the father of someone she knows well and I know a little, though he is in a "way" family (by what I mean, she has got a lot of close contact to him), died and she told me I should call him to condulate.
But I could not do it, because by preparing this phonecall in my mind, I had the words prepared "I am sorry about your fathers dead", but then into my mind came a "blur", where I had no image/imagination what could follow this sentence that I prepared, so I would not know how this conversation might proceed, so I didn't dare to do this phonecall anymore and didn't do it at all.
When I was ten years old, my fathers mother died and I told to my father "I am sorry about your mothers dead".
I don't know how to continue or what I am expected to say elsewise and it makes me nervous, so I rather say nothing, but I also know, that people expect me to say something.
I got often told, that I am not "spontenaous", but I just have no idea what to say in many situations or if I have one sentence prepared I do not know the second one.

Perhaps you could write a short note instead.

As for me, if I really did not know the deceased, I'd likely say nothing at all.

Thank you, Fnord! I didn't even thought about writing a note, though I have his e-mail
I was so focused on that I have to do this phonecall, that I did not saw the option that I could write. And I guess then it is enough to write "I am sorry for your father's dead", isn't it?

If it were me I would send a sympathy card and write "Sorry for your loss." It's a nice gesture that you acknowledged their time of sorrow and doesn't put you in an awkward situation.

Greeting cards say it for you... you just have to sign your name. That is what they are there for...

I would say something like - "I am sorry for the loss of your father. Wishing you many happy memories at this difficult time"

Thank you for all advices.
I chose the first one.
Buying a card involves going to the shop and later to the postoffice and as I have strong sensory problems, I avoid leaving my place as much as possible, so I probably would never buy a card, even if I wanted to, because the idea is good.
I feel ashamed, that I couldn't come up with a solution myself instead of being "blocked" with the idea of having to make a phonecall for 5 days.
Thank you.

That would be a nightmare for me too. My best friend's dad died while I was away. She sent me a text, but my phone was switched off, so I never found out until I got home, a few days later. I'm so glad about my phone be off. Had I received the message, I would have needed to phone her and I would not have known what to say -what can you say? So, I went to her, gave her a hug, held her hand and cried with her. But, if it had been someone I was less close to, I would have sent a card, maybe flowers, there'd definitely be no phone call.

Maybe soften it a bit. "I feel deep sadness over the news of your father's passing" makes it seem that he's gone somewhere else, which is what many people would like to believe. The word "dead" may be too abrupt and final.

Thank you, Fnord, but I have written that e-mail already shortly after your suggestion, so I used the word "dead".
But you said a good point which I wasn't aware of.

If this guy knows you well enough he'll know what you did write was the best you could do.

No, he doesn't.

My mother was the SAME way, but she SHOULD understand your problem. I NEVER benefited from her advice when it involved going against my AS.

Steve

Cards are not only at the store...

http://www.123greetings.com/encourageme ... /sympathy/

And you can always look to cards for a good 'script' to use if you do make the call.