Friend in online relationship

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I have a male friend who I have chatted with for the past several years on a chat room. We have also known each other for the past 8 years outside of this chat room. He recently met someone new who came into the chat room who is a female and have even claimed her as his girlfriend. Although I get along with her and share common interests, there are too many red flags.

1. Other members of the chat room who I have known and even talked to for years told me that she had told them that she is a male in real life and has a female avatar
2. She took off for seven weeks this year by saying that she a sick and had heart problems and dealt with a lot of stress. She said that it was life threatening.
3. She tried to convince me that her cousin sometimes comes on and sometimes enjoys messing with people. However, during the seven week period, he also did not bother to show up
4. I called her out on her true identity by mentioning that other members have been telling me that she is a male in real life. She then paused for five minutes before saying.," People need to mind their own business and stop spreading rumors.

One of my other friends doesn't trust this person and has seen situations like this in other chat rooms many times.

What would you say about this situation?

I am beginning to think it's fishy as I don't know whose on the other end.

Does this person sound sketchy to you? Also, is this a form of cyber bullying?

if he has seen her on webcam then the mystery would be solved. assuming that he has not, then you might want to tell him of your concerns. but it's not a good idea to insist too much or to be too pushy because it's ultimately his decision to make as to whether the risk is worth it.

it's possible that you might not have the whole story. perhaps she is a MtoF transgender person. or maybe your friend is homosexual or bisexual and is not ready for anyone to know he is dating a man.

also important - maybe stop gossiping about your friend to other friends in the chat room. it's good to support a friend, but it appears though you ad your otehr friends have created an elaborate situation that might have no basis in reality. it can be damaging to your friendship with him.

No, my friend isn;t gay or bi-sexual. He has made it clear that he is heterosexual and wants a female of the opposite sex who is a cologne of himself.

As for the other person, he keeps changing his story to other people about his identity. He's a male to some of the people there and a female to others.

maybe someone else is using her account. or maybe she lies so that people will stop flirting with her. there are many, many reasons this could be happening. it's probably best to tell your friend of your worries and let him decide how to handle it.

We already did but he is very hard headed on this type of thing. Others warn him constantly and he doesn't listen.

then you did what you could, and the logical next step at this point is stand by and support him as his friend. either he knows something he's not telling you, or he is willing to take a risk regardless. you did your duty as a friend by warning him, and it's up to him what to do next. you might not like the decision he makes, and you may worry about him, but it's not fair to him for you to second-guess his decisions beyond that point.

he may even have some doubts, but if you push him too hard with your suspicions and worries he may become less comfortable sharing it with you. he may start to feel alienated from you.

Webcams are fairly cheap to buy, if this person isn't willing to verify themselves on cam or by attending a meeting in real life, I would be very suspicious of them.

Almost every girl and every guy on my Skype list has a webcam, I have three webcams so if this person isn't willing to verify themselves, you should block them from your list, your friend needs to take the same advice. Your friend needs to be aware that there are many predators online that are looking to take advantage of people, male or female, not all predators are heterosexual.

That is just it this. They told me that they hate skype and refused to get one and they don't care to talk on the phone too much because they have Asperger's Syndrome and do a lot of stuttering. I also asked them if they wanted my friend's phone number so that they could talk. They said it was up to my friend to make that decision. This person doesn't appear to have a facebook page either. They just talk on the chat room.

One of my other friends doesn't buy any of the things that this supposed girl told me about being sick or her cousin as she goes to chats all the time and sees this type of thing happen. She thinks that this guy is trying to get some attention.

If they make excuses about why they can't show themselves on webcam or talk on the phone or meet, they're probably fake. General rule for the whole internet right there.

I did ask if she talks on the phone and she told me that she studders a lot and it embarasses her.

My fake senses are tingling very strongly on this one.

Yep, mine are too. Do you think this is a form of cyberbullying?

it may be. but it seems like you've already done everything you can. perhaps you can alert a moderator in that forum or whatever, but there's not a whole lot more you can do for your friend.

Yes, actually, this person already told the moderator that they were a guy a long time ago. The moderator is beginning to call them out, while my friend is starting to have paranoid senses about this even though he is still in denial to some degree. I already knew the truth myself even though they tried to manipulate me with the whole cousin thing.

Just sounds like a troll more than a "bully" TBH, but certainly not an actual girl.

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I won't do video or voice chat online and don't like talking on the phone either. I have a Facebook page but no one would ever find it as I don't use my real name on it and keep it as private as possible. I only have 4 people I know in real life on it and one good friend from the mmorpg I play.

I'm not looking to date and think my gender is pretty much irrelevant to people I talk to online though. Maybe they are really a guy, maybe they aren't. I don't know.