Any advice for a situation I will be in on Friday?

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andriana
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29 Feb 2012, 11:11 am

On Friday a psychiatrist that I have never met is coming to my home to see me because I don't seem to be able to leave the house at the moment and they want to check on me. The problem is that I don't know what I'm meant to do when they come in. Am I meant to offer food or drinks and can I tell them where to sit? I live by myself so it will only be me and the psychiatrist in my home and I'm quite worried about it. She is coming early in the morning and I don't know how long she will be staying for because she didn't say anything except that she is coming at 9.30 in the morning.

Any advice on what to do would be really appreciated,

Thank you.



ghostar
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29 Feb 2012, 12:23 pm

Wow andriana...what an anxiety-inducing event!! ! Yikes.

If I were you, I would call or email the psychaitrist and ask her how long you should set aside for your in-home appointment. That way, you will know how long she plans to stay.

Also, I would make sure to have some ice water and perhaps either hot or iced tea available to offer her along with some sort of pastry like croissants or coffee cake if you are able to leave home to get to the market before Friday (some markets will make deliveries or there are even online services that deliver foods). I know that just going to the market for me is overwhelming so don't stress yourself out about it. Your doctor ostensibly has experience with super anxious people so she will likely be very understanding. :)

I have found that when I have guests in my home (I lived alone for the past five years too.), I feel less anxious if I can keep myself intermittently busy pouring tea, going to get the coffee cake out of the microwave/toaster oven, etc.

Good luck and please keep us posted on how it goes. :)



cathylynn
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29 Feb 2012, 12:36 pm

you might offer the doc a cup of coffee. i wouldn't do the pastries, though, as many agencies have rules about how much care providers can accept from service participants.



andriana
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29 Feb 2012, 12:49 pm

thank you both. i think i will offer tea because i don't know how to make coffee and i won't be able to get anything else in. i do always have water in the fridge so that will give her an option. i won't feel comfortable sitting in my sitting room with her so i might ask her to sit at the kitchen table, that way it feels more formal and maybe i'll be more comfortable. i wish i had someone to be here with me :( i'm sure she won't be here for long, maybe half an hour or something? i don't know the number to call and ask. i'll ask her when she gets here. aggghhhhhh i'm not looking forward to this. i don't even know how old she is or what she looks like or anything about her!



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29 Feb 2012, 1:06 pm

Of course, she is a psychiatrist, they are going to analyze you but they shouldn't do it any way that is detrimental, uncomfortable or hurtful for you. If they are, they aren't conducting themselves in a professional manner.

Just try to see them as a helpful and positive entity, I have experience with psychoanalysts and psychologists and I have had a few come around my house also so I know how these situations work. The tea idea does sound really great, don't let your inhibitions get in the way of her giving you the advice you need.



andriana
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29 Feb 2012, 1:19 pm

thank you wolfheart. i will try my best. i need to be getting out more and able to do things for myself so i will take the help as long as it isn't madication that slows me down because i don't like feeling like that. i'm trying to make my home look more like a normal person's home but it isn't working! i have too much stuff scattered around the place.



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29 Feb 2012, 2:17 pm

Your psychiatrist is a professional, so you don't have to worry as much about making everything perfect for them--they're there to help you, not to be entertained :)

However, it's polite to offer a drink of some kind. I think having tea and water would be perfect. You don't need to offer food.

You can sit wherever you prefer to sit--it's your house :) So if you ask the psychiatrist to sit at your kitchen table, that is very appropriate.

The biggest thing is for you to not worry. This visit is supposed to be a positive experience for you--your psychiatrist is coming to help you achieve some of your goals and overcome some of the things you find difficult. I know it can be scary to have someone come into your home, but they are coming to help you out, and so you don't need to worry too much :) Good luck!



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29 Feb 2012, 7:10 pm

andriana wrote:
On Friday a psychiatrist that I have never met is coming to my home to see me because I don't seem to be able to leave the house at the moment and they want to check on me. The problem is that I don't know what I'm meant to do when they come in. Am I meant to offer food or drinks and can I tell them where to sit? I live by myself so it will only be me and the psychiatrist in my home and I'm quite worried about it. She is coming early in the morning and I don't know how long she will be staying for because she didn't say anything except that she is coming at 9.30 in the morning.

Any advice on what to do would be really appreciated.


Definitely contact the psychiatrist and ask basic questions:
  • How long will the visit be?
  • Are there any things I should prepare for?


It may help establish a rapport to be honest, to let the psychiatrist know that you don't feel you know what the expectations are and as a result feel a little uneasy. From what you've described so far, there doesn't seem to be any need to assume the psychiatrist has a specific agenda to apply against your wishes or anything.



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01 Mar 2012, 12:22 am

I think offering them some water or tea would be just enough
All the best....

Will she be the first outsider to come to your place after a long time???? Doesnt anyone drop in
at your place occasionally??


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andriana
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01 Mar 2012, 12:58 am

I can't contact her because I don't have the number but you have all helped to reassure me a little bit. My plan is to ask her to sit in the kitchen and to offer either water or tea and if it becomes to overwhelming I will ask her if I can have 5 minutes by myself.

I don't often have people come to my house and this is the first professional to come over in years except for my GP who didn't tell me she was coming first. That was very awkward and stressful for me.

Thank you all.


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01 Mar 2012, 1:35 am

andriana wrote:
I can't contact her because I don't have the number but you have all helped to reassure me a little bit. My plan is to ask her to sit in the kitchen and to offer either water or tea and if it becomes to overwhelming I will ask her if I can have 5 minutes by myself.

I don't often have people come to my house and this is the first professional to come over in years except for my GP who didn't tell me she was coming first. That was very awkward and stressful for me.

Thank you all.

Its interesting for me to know that psychiatrist visit their clients at home in western countries
Well here in India even if the patient is in serious condition no one comes home for visit
I usually see mental patients walking on the road with torn clothes, disheveled clothes, longhair
and in extremely bad condition, throwing stones at others
I really pity the lack of empathy in Indian people but there is extremely large population and government is unable to do
anything plus corruption.

But you are lucky to get help there and dont worry be relaxed


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andriana
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01 Mar 2012, 1:49 am

I'm glad that it isn't like that here. I would be even more scared to go outside if that was happening in my area. In the UK I think we're lucky to have the National Health Service. People complain about it a lot but they don't consider that if we didn't have it we would have to pay large fees for health care or just stay unwell. Do you have to pay for health care in India? Are there charitable organisations to help people with mental health problems in India? Here we have a lot of charitable organisations to help all sorts of different people. There have been lots of funding cuts over the past two years but there are still lots of ways people can get help.


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01 Mar 2012, 5:01 am

Whenever someone comes to my house, whether it be a health professional or a joiner, I offer a drink (they'll say what they want but it's always limited to tea, coffee, water or juice). I know you said you don't know how to do coffee, but a jar of instant is fine, by most people's standards. A teaspoonful of coffee granules and boiling water in a cup, stir and it's made (even easier than tea). Make sure you have some milk and sugar too. I always put out a small plate of biscuits (you're in the UK you know what I'm talking about - custard creams, chocolate digestives or Penguin for instance).

Don't worry, chances are they'll not want anything at all.

I hope all goes well.


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01 Mar 2012, 6:55 am

andriana wrote:
I'm glad that it isn't like that here. I would be even more scared to go outside if that was happening in my area. In the UK I think we're lucky to have the National Health Service. People complain about it a lot but they don't consider that if we didn't have it we would have to pay large fees for health care or just stay unwell. Do you have to pay for health care in India? Are there charitable organisations to help people with mental health problems in India? Here we have a lot of charitable organisations to help all sorts of different people. There have been lots of funding cuts over the past two years but there are still lots of ways people can get help.

No dear there are no health care services here people have to pay from their pockets for treatment
Many poor people die due to lack of health facilities. If a serious patient is taken to hospital and they cant pay for operation cost
then that patient is left to die in the OPD.
There is lot of poverty, homeless and in cold winter nights thousands of people sleep on the roads due to lack of shelter.

About mental patient there is a mad man living right across the road in my street he throws stones, sits in the corner eating from the garbage can and one day i was passing by he suddenly removed his pants and showed his private parts to the kids who were teasing him...

Doctors barely take interest in people like me who have been exposed to lot of voilence in childhood, abused by parents and who deal with depression. Just imagine there are whole lot of mental people roaming on the streets why would anyone take interest in cases like mine and im just told by counsellors etc to take up a job and keep myself occupied.


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