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SanityTheorist
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01 Mar 2012, 2:00 pm

They are as a whole rather uninteresting and just seem to be slaves to their emotions. Is it common for aspergians to be this unsatisfied by ellow man?

They just seem so unfocused, paying attention only to the social aspect of life rather than enjoying what they have (in America at least.) Meanwhile we can enjoy what we own a great deal and greatly enjoy our restrictive interests.

Maybe this means we are more appreciative overall contrary to popular opinion or maybe it means we're too narrow minded. That is all perspective I imagine.

Another thing we seem to thrive in is our ability for reason; why is it most people are so vague? Clear knowledge is important, but others obscure it. Perhaps they are just trying to cover up lack of research in those instances, but it seems fairly common.

Or maybe I am cold and emotionless lately. Thoughts?


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myth
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01 Mar 2012, 3:00 pm

I do frequently find people's lack of detail frustrating. When I was younger I used to be unable to act on anything if every single little detail wasn't clearly spelled out. As I've grown up I've been able to bridge soem gaps and make an "educated guess" as it were or at the very least learn to formulate the proper questions to recieve the amount of detail that I require. I believe that this gives me a superior understanding of new concepts. I've been told on many occasions by various bosses that I learn quickly and "get" concepts. This is because of my avid desire for details and clear understandings.

In terms of interpersonal relations though, I continue to run into walls. It's similarly mind-boggling that not only do many people refuse to give specifics but actually get upset when you express your desire for knowlege (eg researching the topic of conversation to gain a better knowledge of it) they view it as snooty or holier-than-thou somehow. As if striving to be factual is a bad thing? :?

I decided years ago that I didn't want any friends. I don't converse much at work and I interact almost exclusively with my husband. This has relieved many pressures for me and I'm quite happy this way :)


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CrazyStarlightRedux
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01 Mar 2012, 4:41 pm

It happens in the UK as well dude.

I am in an Orchestra where the community is pretty big, but the social aspect is crap.

Small talk is all I ever do there anymore, a friendly hi by some people but no interaction after that...it really annoys me. I know them MUCH more then they know me...and it annoys me when one of them "thinks" he knows me just because I talk to him the most despite being rarely as well.



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01 Mar 2012, 5:21 pm

If you think you can't find people that are interesting that is a shortcoming of yourself ultimately. Everyone has something interesting about them, everyone has something you can learn from.
When it comes down to it even the two most opposite people have more in common then they have differences.

I agree on what you have said, but its very generalizing and black/white. I find most people uninteresting but i also understand that it is my own responsibility to find something that will make interaction with those people interesting. I don't have to try though because i know for sure that there are way more interesting people everywhere around me.

You might be shooting yourself in the foot and keeping this mentality going that you are the only interesting person on the planet. You could get involved in online communities that you find interesting, those people exist in the real world. You just don't get to meet them if you stay inside your superiority bubble unwilling to take the time and risk to see if there is more to people then the superficial shell they had to put on and identify with for their entire life. Something we like to forget is that Nt's are stuck in the same world as we are. And many feel just as dissatisfied with how things work.

If you think you are interesting, then you can introduce others to it. You might be surprised how many people are curious intellectually. Its just looked down upon by the masses and people don't peacock with their interesting personality because of it. If nobody makes the first move and provokes controversial topics then we will be stuck in small talk until we die. Put yourself out there, become a beacon that interesting people recognize. If you stay incognito you wont ever get to find out whether the person sitting next to you on the buss was actually a potential lifelong friend.



SanityTheorist
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01 Mar 2012, 8:05 pm

I'd like to first say that I was frustrated when writing this and was in need of venting, so some of my beliefs are likely far less black and white than this TB. I can see why you would say that though, in retrospect this does seem hastily scrawled.

Small talk is annoying yes, but it makes people more comfortable than talking about something of shared interest first. I think people just don't like having labels thrust upon them and mentioning a possible shared hobby/interest would shock them. It's stupid but we have to work with that, since so few non-aspergians compromise in social situations it seems unless they really want to make the friendship work.

myth, I do find their annoyance with details greatly troubling as well. It's as if they are trying to be in direct competition with aspergian minds. And as for covnersing with one person exclusively I think choosing friends carefully and in low amounts is wise for anyone.


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Fnord
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01 Mar 2012, 8:34 pm

People are stupid. They're more inclined to embrace a pleasant lie than an unpleasant truth. They have a seemingly insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing. They see someone else succeed, and they automatically assume that the person has made their success through illegal, immoral, or unethical means. They fail to prepare themselves for success, and then blame anything but themselves for their failures. People want to share their philosophical, political, or religious views with you, and never want you to share yours with them. They are open to new ideas, as long as the new ideas are exactly like the ideas they already have. They do all manner of things with "good intentions", but the results of their actions make you wonder what the hell they were intending. People are not creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and creatures that are motivated by pride and vanity. They are nicest to you when they want something from you, and forget you exist the moment you enter into your own state of need. When they say, "Somebody ought to do something", they are never referring to themselves. People believe that kindness must be earned, while cruelty can be given freely.

Finally, people are stupid because they embrace ignorance over knowledge; because knowledge brings understanding, understanding brings compassion, compassion brings involvement, involvement brings responsibility, and no one wants to be held responsible, even for themselves.



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01 Mar 2012, 8:45 pm

If you honestly feel that way I am sorry for you, I would not enjoy living in a world where I figured everyone intentions but mine where bad either.


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SanityTheorist
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01 Mar 2012, 9:23 pm

Honestly Fnord raises some excellent points. However nihilistic they may sound, blame is easier to give than to receive. That is why people are so dependent on others...they lack a backbone to act alone. That is a fundamental evolutionary weakness.

People are not all cruel though. I think most just lack empathy (ironic for an aspergian to say that, they probably think.) They just say they are sorry but often don't change the behavior that caused the problem.

In spite of this though I think it's because society has grown too large. We no longer get to know people as much as we should, focusing on small talk instead.

And small minded they are. The neo-cortex needs to take control over the amygdala in time.


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01 Mar 2012, 9:27 pm

SanityTheorist wrote:
Honestly Fnord raises some excellent points. However nihilistic they may sound, blame is easier to give than to receive. That is why people are so dependent on others...they lack a backbone to act alone. That is a fundamental evolutionary weakness.

People are not all cruel though. I think most just lack empathy (ironic for an aspergian to say that, they probably think.) They just say they are sorry but often don't change the behavior that caused the problem.

In spite of this though I think it's because society has grown too large. We no longer get to know people as much as we should, focusing on small talk instead.

And small minded they are. The neo-cortex needs to take control over the amygdala in time.


It is also true there are people who actually do have problems they don't have much control over, that they did not end up with through fault of their own. I mean is it my fault I got PTSD, no I highly doubt that. Its stupid to always assume other people are always to blame for any mis-fortune they suffer from. Certainly easier than acknowledging the truth though.


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SanityTheorist
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01 Mar 2012, 9:29 pm

Point taken, Sometimes people have just been screwed over by others as well. Fnord is intelligent but fairly callous, think he may have been abused based on how he views them. That, or he has been reading too much HP Lovecraft.

And deluding yourself to make things easier is idiocy...I always try to resist that sadly very human trait.

PTSD is caused by external sources, so if you have it you can blame something else. But keep in mind your actions may have played into it. Most don't consider that.


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Sweetleaf
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01 Mar 2012, 9:37 pm

SanityTheorist wrote:
Point taken, Sometimes people have just been screwed over by others as well. Fnord is intelligent but fairly callous, think he may have been abused based on how he views them. That, or he has been reading too much HP Lovecraft.

And deluding yourself to make things easier is idiocy...I always try to resist that sadly very human trait.

PTSD is caused by external sources, so if you have it you can blame something else. But keep in mind your actions may have played into it. Most don't consider that.


Well I actually did beat myself up over having a dream about people coming into the school with guns, then a year later a guy with a gun came in the school and killed someone. But in reality no none of my actions or thought actually made it happen, but I did have a hard time with that.

So yeah that is all external....also agree deluding ones self to make things easier is idiocy.


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01 Mar 2012, 9:40 pm

I hate people. I constantly find myself being irritated or angry at how stupid people act, the stupid things they say, listen to, watch, or read. I know I shouldn't have these reactions, but I can't help it.

I think this is part of the reason I don't have many friends. Even the friends I DO have, I'm beginning to dislike.


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02 Mar 2012, 3:01 am

SanityTheorist wrote:
Honestly Fnord raises some excellent points. However nihilistic they may sound, blame is easier to give than to receive. That is why people are so dependent on others...they lack a backbone to act alone. That is a fundamental evolutionary weakness.

People are not all cruel though. I think most just lack empathy (ironic for an aspergian to say that, they probably think.) They just say they are sorry but often don't change the behavior that caused the problem.

In spite of this though I think it's because society has grown too large. We no longer get to know people as much as we should, focusing on small talk instead.

And small minded they are. The neo-cortex needs to take control over the amygdala in time.


Yes its so ironic that many aspie traits are also applicable to the rest of humanity so often. I mean just refuse to shake someones hand when you first meet them, they will get upset because you do not stick to their routine.

I didn't realize you where ranting, it should have been obvious but i kind of missed it due to my own emotional response i guess. I just have less and less tolerance for the negative views expressed here.
The world is what you make of it, if you think the world sucks that's a reflection of you. I agree society sucks, but world and life does certainly not. The world is bigger then humanity, most of the time we forget this and see ourselves as all there is. Neglecting the good parts about our planet. We have a potential for heaven on earth, everything we could ever need is present.
I believe that all people are naturally wired to feel good, but the way our living circumstances are designed now are not natural so feeling good does not come natural anymore. We have to suppress our natural behavior which is deeply connecting and showing compassion to other people, we don't do that because nobody else does and you will stand out. I do not know what it is that made it this way but it seems easier to help when none is there to witness your good behavior, its harder to help when people are there to judge it. Then you just stand in line with the rest of the zombies and die a little inside every time you suppress the urge or fantasy to do something spontaneous and kind.

Its something you have to realize through knowledge,understanding what it is that truly makes your body and mind feel good and planning to logically implement it into your everyday life. Its so hard though because being on the border between being fulfilled and feeling bad is the place that corporations want us to be. Not so dysfunctional that we are unable to work or lose hope, but enough that it makes us want to jump through all these meaningless hoops in search for happiness. If people where truly fulfilled capitalism would die, there would be far less need for buying anything other the absolute necessary.



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02 Mar 2012, 6:15 am

Try being horribly offensive in your manner or with your body odour; I hear that either of those will make people go away.


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myth
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02 Mar 2012, 7:23 am

I think Fnord is pretty much dead-on.


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Fnord
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02 Mar 2012, 10:43 am

myth wrote:
I think Fnord is pretty much dead-on.

Thank you. Move to the head of the class!

:wtg: