Mr. no text back has texted back.

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hyperlexian
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04 Mar 2012, 5:16 pm

because if he is having sex with you then you deserve some form of contact from him regardless of what is going on. it doesn't matter if he was in court every single day and in therapy every single night and at his mom's funeral on the weekend. he could still take 2.5 seconds to send a text. otherwise, you are at the very bottom of his priority list.

sorry, i got one of the stories mixed up.


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Sweetleaf
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04 Mar 2012, 5:42 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
because if he is having sex with you then you deserve some form of contact from him regardless of what is going on. it doesn't matter if he was in court every single day and in therapy every single night and at his mom's funeral on the weekend. he could still take 2.5 seconds to send a text. otherwise, you are at the very bottom of his priority list.

sorry, i got one of the stories mixed up.


Alright that is true, I guess perhaps he is not at the top of my priority list either so I don't feel I would be to hurt by texting him back and seeing what he has to say. I mean I just have to know for whatever reason, otherwise I'll never be able to stop thinking about it.


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Tequila
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04 Mar 2012, 5:52 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean I just have to know for whatever reason, otherwise I'll never be able to stop thinking about it.


And what do you think you'll get when you do text him? More lies and bullshit, probably.



Sweetleaf
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04 Mar 2012, 5:52 pm

Tequila wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean I just have to know for whatever reason, otherwise I'll never be able to stop thinking about it.


And what do you think you'll get when you do text him? More lies and bullshit, probably.


I'll find out.


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bucephalus
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04 Mar 2012, 8:53 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Tequila wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean I just have to know for whatever reason, otherwise I'll never be able to stop thinking about it.


And what do you think you'll get when you do text him? More lies and bullshit, probably.


I'll find out.


I'll apologise in advance: It seems there is more information about sweetleaf and this guy that I am unaware of in other threads. So forgive me for taking the information on this thread at face value. If I was SL i'd text the guy, curiosity always gets the better of me in these situations. In fact, Sweetleaf, you've responded in this thread in exactly the same way as I would in your shoes. A kind hearted person defending a bad idea vigorously, or at least something that's perceived to be a bad idea.

I feel that with this lack of the aforementioned information I'm in danger of giving you some dangerous advice. So I'll just say, maybe best not to grill the guy about why he's not texted back for so long - it implies that you've noticed ;) keep us in the loop one way or the other


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05 Mar 2012, 12:01 am

Alright I guess there is no real relationship potential, so whatever...at least now I know. And now I don't have to explain my lack of a sex drive or my worsening mental state...less stress for me.


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conundrum
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05 Mar 2012, 12:18 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
...at least now I know.


Exactly.


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Sweetleaf
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05 Mar 2012, 11:27 am

conundrum wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
...at least now I know.


Exactly.


Yeah and I appreciate the honesty on his part......he said things probably would not work with dating but we could still screw around, not sure I am very interested in that though so I imagine I'll have to say that. I don't exactly want to take 3 buses for that, so I'd say its time to move on.


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hyperlexian
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05 Mar 2012, 2:01 pm

well, at least you got some closure. sorry it ddin't result in anything positive. his behaviour unfortunately fit a certain pattern.

i am a little concerned that you are saying "not sure I am very interested in that though". as you seem uncertain. since you think you might be asexual, and since he treated you badly, and since you would have to take 3 buses, i am not sure why you would even consider that situation at all. what's in it for you?


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Sweetleaf
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05 Mar 2012, 2:06 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
well, at least you got some closure. sorry it ddin't result in anything positive. his behaviour unfortunately fit a certain pattern.

i am a little concerned that you are saying "not sure I am very interested in that though". as you seem uncertain. since you think you might be asexual, and since he treated you badly, and since you would have to take 3 buses, i am not sure why you would even consider that situation at all. what's in it for you?


I am not considering it, that's what I meant...just haven't decided what to text him back to be clear I'm not interested in that. Also, I don't consider that too horrible I mean its not like we had discussed making our relationship official in any way. We only hung out one weekend and one night over the next week. He's not intrested in a relationship and isn't pretending he is just to get sex. he was honest and left it up to me and I'm not intrested in that so if he has a problem with that he'll just have to get over it.


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05 Mar 2012, 4:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
well, at least you got some closure. sorry it ddin't result in anything positive. his behaviour unfortunately fit a certain pattern.

i am a little concerned that you are saying "not sure I am very interested in that though". as you seem uncertain. since you think you might be asexual, and since he treated you badly, and since you would have to take 3 buses, i am not sure why you would even consider that situation at all. what's in it for you?


I am not considering it, that's what I meant...just haven't decided what to text him back to be clear I'm not interested in that. Also, I don't consider that too horrible I mean its not like we had discussed making our relationship official in any way. We only hung out one weekend and one night over the next week. He's not intrested in a relationship and isn't pretending he is just to get sex. he was honest and left it up to me and I'm not intrested in that so if he has a problem with that he'll just have to get over it.


Bravo!! :thumright:
seriously you have no idea how happy it makes me to see someone make a decision like that
half the bullcrap my female friends go through could all be avoided if they just thought more like that(in bold)


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Who_Am_I
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05 Mar 2012, 10:59 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
well, at least you got some closure. sorry it ddin't result in anything positive. his behaviour unfortunately fit a certain pattern.

i am a little concerned that you are saying "not sure I am very interested in that though". as you seem uncertain. since you think you might be asexual, and since he treated you badly, and since you would have to take 3 buses, i am not sure why you would even consider that situation at all. what's in it for you?


I am not considering it, that's what I meant...just haven't decided what to text him back to be clear I'm not interested in that.


"I am not interested in that."
It's hard to get more clear than that.


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boblol
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06 Mar 2012, 3:28 am

If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If youre seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.



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06 Mar 2012, 3:31 am

smudge wrote:
conundrum wrote:
Tequila wrote:
I'm sure he can use his charm and silver tongue in order to overcome your lack of interest in sex.


That's kind of insulting...implying that someone has no self-control...sheesh. :roll:


No offense to Sweetleaf or any other females, but I've known a lot of females (myself included) who are suckers for men like this. I'm not saying SL is going to be sucked in, but I'm not saying she isn't. Women don't trust their gut instincts that a man is BSing them. I'd have avoided a guy like this ages ago, but that's only because I've read books that have confirmed that men who appear really nice, do in fact lie - it is human nature to push boundaries and to be manipulative. They do it exactly by being nice, and they manipulate you by their availability, so that any crumb they feed to you, you'll eat from their hand. They do it by making up any excuse (my mum died, my phone died, my ex died, I've been busy) about why they haven't been in touch, just to make their lives easier, not yours. That may sound very cold of me to say, but people WILL use reasons like that as excuses, so they get to control you by making you sympathetic towards them, and therefore allowing them to get away with more because they "Can't help it".

When the other person controls when communication is allowed - it shows a real lack of respect. People should not tolerate it from either sex.


I agree, It's not insulting to women to say that they are at risk from charming con men,

charming con men often make women have sex with them, and often make men buy crap cars, both genders are at risk from them,

its stupid to say "oh women are to clever they dont fall for that" best to be realistic and safe.



hyperlexian
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06 Mar 2012, 10:00 am

boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If youre seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.

this is awesome advice!


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Tequila
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06 Mar 2012, 11:12 am

hyperlexian wrote:
boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If youre seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.

this is awesome advice!


When I said the same about that avatar I was viciously condemned by all and sundry. Glad someone else feels the same way.