Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

04 Mar 2012, 12:40 pm

I have avoided my aunt from last 3-4 years.
She is very inquisitive and keeps asking personal questions about how much salary i get, why i dont keep in touch with
my mother in law, is my husband earning better...then she circulates this news all around.

Today she called up and said she wants to visit me......i just packed my bags and ran to a far away mall.
when she called up again i said i am in this mall (i thought she wont come there)
so she ends up at this mall so i had to meet her at the food court

She told me that today trains are not working for 2 hours due to megablock and she as to wait for 2 hours
so that she decided to meet me and catch up on latest news

within two of meeting she asked me where i am working, how much pay i get etc etc.......i just gave her cold answers
she kept digging all my info in the 2 hours i was there...........

what is your analysis of this person....i feel uncomfortable in her presence, i feel i should just keep a distant relationship
with her, overall i dont get good vibes from her....

Would you continue to keep in touch with such relatives :oops:


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


justkillingtime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,761
Location: Washington, D.C.

04 Mar 2012, 4:36 pm

I've have stayed away from people like your aunt. Her questions are rude and intrusive and none of her business. You could respond to those questions by replying "I'm not comfortable talking about that".



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

04 Mar 2012, 11:34 pm

justkillingtime wrote:
I've have stayed away from people like your aunt. Her questions are rude and intrusive and none of her business. You could respond to those questions by replying "I'm not comfortable talking about that".

Do NT people answer all such questions......is it that people with Schizoid personality or Borderline feel threatened with such questions?

You are right they are intrusive and even i feel uncomfortable with such queries and i need my boundaries. But being secretive is it normal?


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

09 Mar 2012, 12:52 am

yes just help out


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


Moonhawk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,596
Location: Hidden :o

09 Mar 2012, 1:38 am

My dad is like that but he also never stops touching me so i would overworry and stress out every time he would come over, so i decided to stop having contact with him, but he doesn't live near me.

But no i would not stay in touch with relatives like that :o And its not being secretive atleast not from my view, every person on this globe has the right to have privacy i think, i've been taught that asking for someone's salary is super rude :S Your aunt seems like a really rude person though, in my view atleast.

Anyway sorry if my response doesn't help but i really felt like responding so its usefull atleast!



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

09 Mar 2012, 7:59 am

Moonhawk wrote:
My dad is like that but he also never stops touching me so i would overworry and stress out every time he would come over, so i decided to stop having contact with him, but he doesn't live near me.

But no i would not stay in touch with relatives like that :o And its not being secretive atleast not from my view, every person on this globe has the right to have privacy i think, i've been taught that asking for someone's salary is super rude :S Your aunt seems like a really rude person though, in my view atleast.

Anyway sorry if my response doesn't help but i really felt like responding so its usefull atleast!


she is a gossip monger whatever we tell her she goes and tells the whole village, neighbourhood
and then there is no private and personal everything becomes open to public

I have been avoiding her from 4 years now i think i will stop calling her up or even visiting her house
then she will get the point and will not pester me also


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


Moonhawk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,596
Location: Hidden :o

09 Mar 2012, 8:28 am

I also hope that she gets the point, namaste, good luck :o



howzat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,802
Location: Hornsey North London

09 Mar 2012, 4:17 pm

I don't particularly like my relatives anyway as i don't fit in so the further away from them the better it is.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

10 Mar 2012, 12:45 am

my husband side people avoid me without any reason they find me dull and boring

My mom's side people are introvert, reclusive they dont socialise with anyone.

Whereas my dads people are eccentric and antisocial

But now i have decided to keep in touch with those who are in touch with me even if they are dangerous i will keep limited touch with them

the reason to keep in touch with them is that my mom has made a gang of relatives and turned them against me they are her brother and sister and their family.....so she has a support system and during times of emergency she will call them

But for me i dont have support system and backup and during emergency and problems i will not have anyone around me.

Now i will socialise but use strategies and mindplans and not just keep cutting off people because i dont like them i will use
manipulative ways to build a strong base.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

10 Mar 2012, 8:38 am

forgot to add this aunts husband had molested me also
and meeting him and having to look at him is difficult
so overall its very uncomfortable to deal with such people


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


goodwitchy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 785
Location: Interplanetary

10 Mar 2012, 1:11 pm

People like your aunt I do my best to stay away from.

Unfortunately, my mom sometimes discloses some of my personal information to people who I would never want to know these things.

It's none of their business.

Anyone who uses your personal information:
1. to gossip because they are a motor mouth
2. to make make themselves feel better by putting you down
3. because they have a "reporter syndrome" (they are the ones with the latest news that no one else has heard)

- these people are not your allies, and it's even worse when they are relatives.

What would be the worst thing that would happen if you stood up to her enough to make her insulted and perhaps stop with the prying questions? Maybe you wouldn't have to see your uncle again, as an extra bonus. :wink:


Now I try to be more careful with what I share to my relatives, and I've learned it's possible to manipulate their gossip by telling them things that I don't mind if other people find out. This does not come naturally for me - it's something I'm still learning and practicing.

So, even without lying, it's still possible to manipulate and color the truth. But this is an art form of "selling and influencing" other people.


_________________
Aspie score: 161 of 200
Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
Autistic/BAP -123 aloof, 124 rigid and 108 pragmatic
Autism Spectrum quotient: 41, Empathy Quotient: 19


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

10 Mar 2012, 1:59 pm

yes i only disclosed to her nasty things which my mother did

other personal information like my salary or any property i purchased such things i did not disclose
this was my strategy to give only that which will help me when she gossips....

overall she is a negative entity....and i am sure when i wont call her any longer she will keep away


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET