Bullshit job interview Q&A: this site is funny!

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as408
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16 Mar 2012, 7:54 pm

I think we AS'ers could totally appreciate this. I love it!
http://livingwithballs.com/bullshit-job ... nd-answers



Alexender
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16 Mar 2012, 8:01 pm

I read through it, it was awesome. In two different interviews I have had I have been asked the same 3-5 questions a total of 4 different times.


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cathylynn
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16 Mar 2012, 8:34 pm

yup, clever.



Princess78
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16 Mar 2012, 9:24 pm

LOL! :lol: The answers were pretty male-oriented, but still funny, I think.



hanyo
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16 Mar 2012, 9:41 pm

If I even did job interviews I'd have a lot of trouble because I'd just be honest and not lie which they probably wouldn't like. I only did one interview ever and didn't get the job. One question that they asked that I had no idea how to answer was "are you afraid of being cut". It was for a fast food place.

1. What is Your Greatest Weakness?

I don't know. That I'm asocial, anxious, lazy, a procrastinator, and physically weak?

2. Why Do You Want to Work Here?

I need money.

3. There’s a gap in your resume. It’s been some time since your last job. What have you been doing since then?

Sitting at home and playing video games and watching dvds.

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

I have trouble seeing that far ahead. I'll be dead or doing exactly the same thing I'm doing now.

5. Tell me about your proudest achievement:

I can't really think of any.

6. Are you willing to work overtime, nights and weekends if need be?

No way. I need my time off to rest and recuperate.

7. Do you have any questions for me?

No.

8. Why did you leave your last job?

They were working me longer hours than they hired me for and messed up my routine.



as408
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17 Mar 2012, 12:35 pm

Princess78 wrote:
LOL! :lol: The answers were pretty male-oriented, but still funny, I think.


Think you could come up with female-oriented answers?



Princess78
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18 Mar 2012, 10:52 pm

I could probably think of a couple of female-oriented answers.
-"What have you done since you graduated from college (or since your last job)?"
-"Sitting around eating ice cream and watching soap operas."
-"Why do you want to work here?"
-"Because I'm a grown woman who still lives with her parents and I need to make my own money, plus my boyfriend won't propose to me, which means he can't commit and I'll never get married. Meanwhile, all my girlfriends are getting married before me. Do you know what it's like to be 30 and be the only one of your friends not getting married?"
-"What is your greatest strength?"
-"That I'm a woman, and I'll never be qualified to do anything except nursing, teaching, cleaning, or be a stay-at-home mom."
"What is your greatest weakness?"
-"That I'm a woman, and I'll never be qualified to do anything except nursing, teaching, or cleaning, or be a stay-at-home mom."



as408
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19 Mar 2012, 1:00 am

Princess,
That is god damn funny!



Princess78
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19 Mar 2012, 11:06 am

Thank you, as408!



as408
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19 Mar 2012, 10:02 pm

Let me know when you come out with a full writeup of your female-oriented "if i could be honest" interview answers.

Princess78 wrote:
Thank you, as408!



DNForrest
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20 Mar 2012, 12:14 am

Unless otherwise stated as humor, this is how I'd respond (though differently worded to be less blunt and go in to more detail).

1. What is Your Greatest Weakness?

Psychology, that's the only class out of which I've ever failed. Also, when I'm in "work mode", such as trying to get a report or presentation done, I don't understand sarcasm on any level.

2. Why Do You Want to Work Here?

Given the companies I've applied to, it's because I'd be using my talents to make something more interesting than toilet paper that isn't used to murder people.

3. There’s a gap in your resume. It’s been some time since your last job. What have you been doing since then?

Helping out in my old lab, searching for jobs, catching up on reading and my Netflix que, and playing a crapload of Call of Duty. (minus the last part)

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

Working with the company and hopefully on my way in to a management position.

5. Tell me about your proudest achievement:

Besides obtaining my degrees, when I ran a sample within an hour of my lab receiving it resulted in a new heart condition medication going into Stage 1 clinical trials the very next day.

6. Are you willing to work overtime, nights and weekends if need be?

When need be, of course. As an engineer my pay definitely makes up for the occasional overtime.

7. Do you have any questions for me?

This answer depends on the company. For example, I asked one about a peer reviewed journal artical about a new medical device they were making that was posted in the weeks leading up to the interview.

8. Why did you leave your last job?

I could only work as the lab manager so long as I was a student. Given I graduated, I could no longer be paid, though I still come in from time to time to help run samples and train people on how to use the equipment.



JoeDaBro
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26 Apr 2014, 12:25 pm

I'd say "my my such language" with no capitals or punctuation, but that's reserverved for people who have icons being Cartoon Network screenshots and with names like The_Ozzo or DaZilla. And I am not one of those people. Which means i can't. Fortunately, I have rights to make long posts with fancy words and stuff. I'm more of a Supermarioglitchy4 myself, so........ PARTY HAHAHAHAHA



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26 Apr 2014, 2:30 pm

This is so cool! 8)

I've been working at my place for 33 years. I also have a second job where the interviewer asked similar questions to the above. I gave stock answers, except for the "Any other questions? one." I answered, "no." I got the job, by the way.

Princess: I love your "female-oriented" answers, I'm a male, by the way.

This is an example of Aspies being able to make fun of themselves. We're not just these robot geniuses!



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28 Apr 2014, 1:52 am

Unless otherwise stated as humor, this is how I'd respond (though differently worded to be less blunt and go in to more detail).

1. What is Your Greatest Weakness?
s**t, I only get one answer. I had 20 prepared, Ummm, Welll, hmmmm, lets see. . I let everybody bully me (I think of that s a weakness,but they will like it)

2. Why Do You Want to Work Here?
You are actually considering paying me.

3. There’s a gap in your resume. It’s been some time since your last job. What have you been doing since then?
I got diagnosed with a condition that makes me unemployable in todays world and have been reading about it on the Wrong Planet website

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Did you not read my resume? I am autistic which means my planning skills are non-existant. You would know that if you took ten minites to google autism.

5. Tell me about your proudest achievement:
I have lived 56 years in your nuerotypical world and I am still alive.

6. Are you willing to work overtime, nights and weekends if need be?
Of course. I have no f*****g life. Did you not see the Autism Speaks ad?

7. Do you have any questions for me?
Since I will be working all night will you provide a bed for me?. Since there is really no work at 3AM and I am just coming in for show is it allright if I use your server to read Wrong Planet?

8. Why did you leave your last job?
They called it a lay-off because of a merger but in reality dispite the fact I was thier most productive employee but I was so confusing to them they could not stand it anymore. I knew that because I really did not leave, I was literly thrown out. The last example demonstrates the skills at reading people I expect will be an asset to your firm.


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