Alright... Where to begin...

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Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: Brooklyn, NY

20 Mar 2012, 6:06 am

Why the hell not, I'll go a few years back.

My parents tell me that I was an unusually quiet baby. I became articulate at a very early age and had an early-onset affinity for literature. But nonetheless, I never really said much. I liked to play with blocks, building little towns and all that. I'd stare off into space and occasionally point out minute details in my surroundings. Staring into space became a problem at some point, as I began having episodes of what the doctors called petit mal epilepsy. I took medication for it for several years, although I wonder if they ever really went away or if they ever really existed in the first place. Maybe it was just AS the whole time.

As I started school, and as my parents and I moved out of our one-bedroom apartment (had a baby sister on the way), I found myself with other kids on my block. I played with them to some extent. I usually just went along with whatever they were doing unless we were at that one friend's house with the Sega Genesis. Then I'd sit by myself while the rest of them went off and did whatever they did.

Pre-kindergarten was confusing. I didn't understand what this whole "school" thing was and why I was suddenly surrounded by people I didn't know. As my mother dropped me off along with the rest of the mothers of the kids in the class, I couldn't understand what all these children were crying about. The whole "separation" thing just didn't click.

There's a ton of stories that I could tell about early childhood, but what's the point? It's nothing that nobody here has heard before, I'm sure. I didn't actually have any friends aside from books, legos, and my cat. I stopped doing my homework in the second grade because it seemed unnecessary. I went to the National Spelling Bee semifinals when I was in the 5th grade, but screwed up my first word because I started doubting myself in front of all those people.

I don't need to tell anyone here that middle school was my own personal Hell. When I was 13, I picked up a bass for the first time and never looked back. Those four strings are really what got me through high school. It gave me something to do for hours a day, by myself, without feeling like I was too much of a misfit.

Speaking of which, I was lucky in that regard. There was this deli by my high school. The kids that hung out there were known as "deli kids." They were all kinda like me. All of us were kinda messed up in our own way, didn't really fit anywhere, and most of us played instruments. So with my bass and my trenchcoat and my combat boots and shoulder-length hair, high school became bearable.

I actually had a girlfriend for the first half of it, but she was abusive. I assumed that because she and I were together, we had some semblance of that whole "love" thing, although it was really just a means for her to control me. She'd take my money, she'd humiliate me, kick me in the *ahem* for fun, wouldn't let me hang out with the few "friends" that I had... You know, all that fun stuff that people in relationships do. One day, I worked up the courage to break up with her. And then everything changed. I started getting involved in social things just because I'd spent so much time with this presence in my life that kept me from doing anything social. I joined my school's mock trial team. I went to the occasional party. I had my first drink. I tried pot for the first time, which I immediately decided I didn't like. I didn't know it, but I was learning how to exist in this silly little NT world of ours.

Fast forward out of high school and into college. I managed to arrange my way into a program that housed me with other music majors and I made a couple of friends just because of the fact that I had a group of people that I simply had to be around because, well, I lived with them.

I still never really fit in anywhere, and my generally brash sense of humor ('Ey. I'm from Brooklyn.) wasn't appreciated, although I could never figure out why. And my topics of interest bopped around all over the place. I read everything I could about the occult. I took up Russian and even put myself through the ordeal of spending a month by myself in Moscow (which was fantastic).

I left that school at some point to study back home in Brooklyn, but dropped out of college only a year later. I wasn't prepared for the masses of a City University. I couldn't take the kind of mundane idiocy that was all around me. There were always so many people all over the place, and it bothered the hell out of me. I developed a pattern of excelling in my classes for the first few weeks, getting bored, ceasing to show up, and failing out of the class because I refused to write any papers or take finals.

So yeah, I dropped out of school. I became fascinated with bartending and spent a good chunk of time looking for work as a bartender. When I finally got a job, I discovered that not only do I hate tending bar, I also don't particular care for bars to begin with! In fact, I was only really any good at, and only really had any interest in MAKING the drinks. Nonetheless, the money was good and it once again forced me to push my boundaries.

I eventually quit that job and (this is a long story) became a freelance stage carpenter. I love what I do because it gives me a chance to work with my hands, something that has always been a strong point for me. Sheets of plywood don't judge you for your odd sense of humor, and 2x4s don't think that you're weird because you don't talk much.

Anyway, that's the short part of my story. It's a little too lengthy for teh internets, but there it is, if you care to read it. I started to read about AS a couple of months ago after a sort of late-autumn fling with a girl that just went horribly awry. When my reading came to Asperger's, all of a sudden, everything made sense. It really does feel like you're on the wrong planet sometimes. I took the Aspie quiz and wound up with 150/200 Aspie, 58/200 NT. I took the BC test a while back and got a 34 or a 36 or something like that... In any case, I haven't been diagnosed or anything like, that, but all signs seem to point to Aspie for me.

So. With that. I'm Dan. Nice to meet you guys