I'm broken right now...

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Monday Night was probably one of the lowest points of my life in terms of self-esteem. I had called my friend from college up to see if he wanted to chill since we were on break and he came over. Now he had come over once before, but he didn't really meet my parents as my mom was in the other room and my dad was sleeping. So anyways, my friend is definitely more outspoken/outgoing then me...he has a girlfriend, etc... Well anyway my mom made coffee for him because we had other company and she just asked kind of jokingly if he liked it, and he did.

Well that's where it began.

From that point forward, my parents seemed enamored with my friend, especially my dad, who is probably disappointed in me that I don't have a girl in my life, even a friend. My mom just seemed to laugh at everything he said, even my mom's friend (other company) and my dad seemed like he was proud of him, and then the worst part is when my friend mentioned that I needed to "break my shell." Now he didn't intend to do it but that began a 5-minute discussion about my parents agreeing and just kind of intentionally putting me down.

It really upset me, it just seemed like they thought of my friend more of their own kid, as I probably haven't met their expectations. It hurt my feelings so bad that I haven't really talked to them since that night except for asking me about what to eat for dinner. That night I fell asleep with tears in my eyes and I've been so depressed that its taken me until now to post it. I haven't smiled in days and I don't think I could even fake it...I mean your own parents, not even proud of you to the point that it seems like they were living through my friend vicariously with him being their son (if that makes sense). Just the overall happiness of them, it seemed like they had a gleam in their eye.

I just need someone to give me some kind words cause like I said, I'm really hurt right now.

That sounds like it was a rough situation, and it would be hard on anyone's self esteem. I feel like that with my parents quite often, my mother is very disappointed in my large amount of problems and "bad" decisions, and I often feel like she wishes she had just a normal daughter with a boring but steady job, and stable relationships. Or even just a job.

Have you talked to your parents about your aspergers or whatever problems you have socializing? I know that can be hard to do, and it may not change how they treat you.

I hope that you feel better soon and realize your own unique talents and worth, and don't get bullied anymore by your family whether they meant it intentionally or not. I often take things too literally and take them to heart when the person was only saying them to chatter and didnt even mean it.

I know how you feel. I am in my early 50s. I've had to put up with my family making it clear all of my life that I was a disappointment to them. Employers also, but at least they had a responsibility to the companies involved to keep good workers, try to make unsatisfactory ones fit, and get rid of ones that couldn't fit the job. With family it's supposed to be different, but it's not. They don't really want you either if you aren't normal, unless you can be made normal somehow. Spectrum disorders weren't known as such when I was a child. We were diagnosed as having emotional/behavior problems and/or being discipline problem kids. It was falsely believed that the right amount and combination of therapy, drugs and discipline would cure or fix us. When we didn't end up fixed or cured, it was believed to be because we were not cooperating with the process, so that reinforced the impression that we were misbehaving.

I don't have any magic solution for you, but I do suggest you finish school, get a job, and move out on your own as soon as possible, so you can make your own life. You can look around for and carefully pick people to include in your life. Do maintain contact with the family, but keep it at a level you can handle.

People on the spectrum are at a disadvantage in dealing with NTs. We can't really relate to one another. I suggest you continue your connection with places like WP because you have friends here who know what you are going through and can offer a shoulder to cry on, support, and sometimes help.

I've been in this situation before so I certainly understand how it feels. Friends chatting it up with my parents more than any of them would ever chat with me, all hoping that some of their normalcy would rub off on me one day (lol no) just as someone else's normalcy had lamentably rubbed off on my friend and made them "come out of their shell". Which is the most bullcrap saying ever because what people are really doing is building a shell, a shell of phoniness to mask and inevitably kill their true selves.

Hanging around such people is bound to hurt self esteem since they and everyone else will always act as though their normalcy is some kind of fantastic accomplishment that all must strive for in order to be respectable. While the TRUTH (or my opinion, whatever) is that this is the cause of all the world's suckage. Don't let it infect you any further.

I find it annoying, too, when parents want their kids to have friends and then don't look out for the kid themselves. Sort of like, they think we should be hanging out with kids "our own age" but what we really need is the support of a parent!

If your parents are treating your friend better than you it is not your fault--they're the ones in the wrong. Parents shouldn't have set expectations when they choose to have a kid.