My perfectionism is damaging me greatly

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Every day or two I get pissed off when I can't do my bass playing or drawing right the first time or I get stuck on a part of a game for 20-30 minutes at a time. SO I did some research today and came up with this.

People who are perfectionists are less efficient because they spend so much time doing one thing.

Perfectionists generally are the way they are from insecurity of their own worth.

perfectionism is linked to poor family relations.

I am wondering whether or not my fellow aspergians would like to talk about how their perfectionism damaged their abilities.

When I get perfectionistic I just stop everything and try to get away to do something I know I can succeed at. It is unhealthy and has led to many unfinished projects. However, some think all artists go through it, and it shows in my lyris writing, bass guitar, guitar and drawing skills.

Then there's my bouts of video gaming where I just get annoyed and even when I do really well in the last stretch I jut think i should have been doing this well the whole time. it is completely unhealthy and damaging.

http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/02/0 ... ectionist/ This is helpful for others that are trying to stop being perfectionistic. The great part about this is once perfectionists conquer it, they still have all the awesome efficiency that goes with it and the strong drie to succeed. It's just more comfortability with less than perfect.

Bumping because I know this thread may help someone.

could it be that you're just not trying hard enough?

Nah, I put forward too much often in my hobbies.

I'm with ya, there. And I definitely hear ya on that bit about playing bass. Often, frustration about my dissatisfaction with my own doings will lead me to halt a project entirely, or even keep me from starting one in the first place. There's certainly a balance that can be reached with these things, although I'm not so sure that I've found it yet.

Well for that very reason I have yet to learn a Rush song on bass, and it bugs the hell out of me.

But since you play bass...I'm curious what your composition style is. I use all 6 strings with some distortion effects, techniques like slides, slapping and popping and harmonics. There;s your proof I'm a perfectionist haha.

Perfectionism is definitely my "problem." Thanks for starting the thread. It makes me a feel a bit less alone. Although my problem with it is the opposite. I have a great family and high self esteem, and that led me to conclude that I can do anything. So I long ago set my heart on the highest possible goal. I will not give that up until I have achieved it, and that has cost my career, family, and my ability to function in other ways.

I don't get pissed off though. I am practising being numb. With practise I can learn not to feel anything.

Numbing yourself will only make the problem worse. The idea is to set it just within your reach and then keep pushing yourself a little further. What I am doing with my drawing now.

That depends on the problem. My problem is that there is one thing I want to do, and everything else gets in the way. I have found that the "everything else" causes me no end of grief. But it cannot be avoided. I cannot fight it, without jeopardising my main project. So in the times when I have to be in the "everything else" zone I try to have a kind of zen peace, letting myself follow orders, but not really being there. I imagine myself sorrunded by a bubble, and everything interacts with that bubble, not with me.

my biggest problem is doing something the first time, failing at it, deciding that it's not worth doing because I couldn't do it right the first time, and then never trying it again.