Page 2 of 3 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Nim
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: Away

04 Apr 2012, 12:54 am

I have 2 stages, frozen... and angry. Frozen consists of usually a blank stare of curiousity at the persons actions, which usually ends in them eventually breaking off. Although a few times they've attacked, in which case others have stopped them (luckily).

Angry consists of people running away... albeit I can't quite remember what I've done the (2) times this has happened in my life.



rebbieh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,597
Location: The North.

04 Apr 2012, 2:15 am

My first option is to walk away. If that doesn't work I sit there, very annoyed or angry, and "listen" to what the other person's saying but refuse to talk about it myself.



CornerPuzzlePieces
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 316
Location: B.C Canada

04 Apr 2012, 3:41 am

I react differently depending on who the person is and the situation itself.

-If its family they will be guilting me/confronting me for something unreasonable/or angry at me.

== guiting or confronting I go silent, they say "real mature" or something and leave me after a time. Angry at me I go red faced and maybe attempt to say something. But often default to blank looks and avoiding eye contact.


For strangers, there's never been any "real" anger so its mostly just let the upset NT finish their speech. When they notice no response they calm down and I make an apology or a positive comment. Usually body language is all I focus on. As people wont pay attention to words when they are upset.

Example- I had this one guy I was helping with computer troubles (on the side job, nothing complex) and I didn't recognize the email. He insisted on a discount, and I said I can't because I charge full price for first timers...

Well he got all upset, and showed up at my house angry. He was blabbing on about something and how I was ripping him off, asked me if I meant to do it. Never really answered his question lol. I just made apologetic gestures with my face and waited it out. Eventually I said, "Ok, sorry about that. I'll go fix it now." Took his computer, gave him a time estimate. And it was over. :)


He has since been back, and while he isn't overly chatty he seems ok with it. Or maybe he thinks im a silent serial killer. Hmmm. Either way- things work out! :D



falonsayswoah
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2012
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 59
Location: Oregon, USA

06 Apr 2012, 2:22 am

Oh goodness. I hate conflict. I don't know how to deal with it properly. I almost always walk away and go to be alone, because I can't handle it. When people continue to fight with me, I act like my dog... I look away with my head down and start shaking... Or I go off on an emotional rant about whatever the argument is about, usually ending in tears and me telling them to stop talking to me for a minute because otherwise I can't compose myself. The latter usually only happens when I'm in the car with someone and they start something with me. If I can, I leave the situation as quickly as possible. I'm afraid that if I were to stay in a situation like that for too long, I would either have a full on panic attack, or act out in a violent way... and I don't want it to ever get to that point. So when I start feeling like I'm going to explode, I try to get away from what is making me feel like that so things never get out of hand.


_________________
Diagnosis: Major Depressive Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Mild PTSD, Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder of childhood with hyperactivity (more inattentive, though), Mild OCD, Social Phobia, Tourette's Syndrome


jetbuilder
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,183

06 Apr 2012, 5:48 pm

I either just shut down or try and escape the situation as fast as possible.


_________________
Standing on the fringes of life... offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.
---- Stephen Chbosky
ASD Diagnosis on 7-17-14
My Tumblr: http://jetbuilder.tumblr.com/


Gazelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,507
Location: Tropical island

07 Apr 2012, 10:19 am

I avoid conflict if at all possible and sometimes have gone overboard. In the past I had a neighbor who yelled at his 5 year old son often and I went overboard and started getting upset at him (the father). I did tell the grandfather of the 5 year old child about my concerns that the child was possibly being abused or yelled at too much. This was a conflict I was not personally involved in but I felt the strong need to speak up for the child and not just stand by while the child is yelled at and possibly being abused.


_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."


Last edited by Gazelle on 07 Apr 2012, 10:25 am, edited 2 times in total.

Gazelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,507
Location: Tropical island

07 Apr 2012, 10:22 am

I shut down or when I attempt to speak up for myself or if I feel I must say something it feels very stressful for me and unnatural. I want to be able to be assertive and mature about situations but it does not come very easy to me.


_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."


glider18
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,056
Location: USA

07 Apr 2012, 8:47 pm

I try to avoid conflict as much as possible. But when conflict is inevitable, I meet it with anxiety and confidence.


_________________
"My journey has just begun."


Gazelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,507
Location: Tropical island

07 Apr 2012, 9:00 pm

glider18 wrote:
I try to avoid conflict as much as possible. But when conflict is inevitable, I meet it with anxiety and confidence.


When you meet conflict with anxiety and confidence, do you mean you feel anxious and yet confident at the same time or do you mean you project confidence, but feel anxious on the inside?

For me conflict is difficult and confronting someone with an issue is never easy, but sometimes you may have no choice.


_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."


Moriath
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 80

07 Apr 2012, 9:33 pm

All these posts are about school ground confrontation. What do you do when it's your boss you have the disagreement with.

Usually I let it build up then fashion a polite but to the point email that I then dread the consequences off. As I am at the moment. What do you do with an authority figure that you think is in the wrong?

I'm useless in a face to face I always assume my point is invalid until I have time to analyse it after.



brickmack
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 183
Location: Indiana, USA

07 Apr 2012, 11:33 pm

If its family I normally just stand there and look at them funny (unless they are being particularly idiotic, in which I start yelling and possibly try to hit them) because my family is completely unreasonable...

If its people at school, I pick apart their argument one peice at a time, explaining exactly why they are wrong. Since the people I go to school with are all violent savages who would gladly rip me limb from limb, I make sure to stop and run away when they get really mad at my explanation.

If its a teacher or other "authority figure" basically the same as with other students, but I don't worry about being physically hurt.

If its any kind of physical conflict my options are more limited: run, curl into a ball and protect the head and torso, or pass out.



Max000
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,765

07 Apr 2012, 11:54 pm

Koi wrote:
So, how do you guys deal with conflict?.


I don't deal with it.



DJFester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,106
Location: Minneapolis MN USA

08 Apr 2012, 3:05 am

Moriath wrote:
All these posts are about school ground confrontation. What do you do when it's your boss you have the disagreement with.

Usually I let it build up then fashion a polite but to the point email that I then dread the consequences off. As I am at the moment. What do you do with an authority figure that you think is in the wrong?

I'm useless in a face to face I always assume my point is invalid until I have time to analyse it after.


If it's a boss or authority figure, I'll still disagree with them if they're in the wrong. Authority figures don't frighten me any more than anybody else. Being a jerk is still being a jerk, regardless of any power or authority anyone has. I'm far beyond having school ground confrontations anymore, at 48 years old! :lol:


_________________
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.


DJFester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,106
Location: Minneapolis MN USA

08 Apr 2012, 3:08 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I either shut down or freak out...depending.


I used to do that too, but now I tend to stand my ground a lot more and refuse to take crap from others. BTW, I like your new avatar pic. :)


_________________
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.


banda
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 7
Location: Scotland

08 Apr 2012, 10:54 am

Conflict doesn't bode well with me. Either I get confused and shut down (if it's too much for me) or I my voice gets really high-pitched and 'hysterical' (as my mum calls it) when I try to defend myself (when I feel the conflict is about something unjust).

There only rarely has been a conflict that I was able to solve calmly. Usually when it's not conflict directed at me.