Greetings, my name is Jonathan, I'm a 38 y.o. manchild from Massachusetts, usa.
Please bear with my floating stream of consiousness type meanderings and anecdotes and divergent observational deliveries and spelling type fiascos. I am new to the planet, but have been surviving and aliving on my own frequency for 38 earth years.
I find writing in this style to be the only way of getting my true thoughts across while avoiding the annoying NT type of constant self censorship and editing in order to project the illusion of cleverness and originality in their deliveries...blah...blah....blah.....
I am not insane, I feel I exist on the outer circles of an insane circus where the lowest common denominaters are not only accepted, but lauded. I am unique in every sense of the word, I move, look, think, percieve, and act differently than most of my fellow bi-peds.
I've only recently come to this acceptance of myself after formally dropping out of mainstream society and hand painting my Olds 88 with many funkalishus colors and designs and patterns on every panel. I could choose to be melodramatic here and say I suffered a breakdown, but being who I am, and knowing what I know, it was just another adjustment shift in my experience of this life.
The only time I am most alive is when I am my true aspie self, alone and doing my thang!
Most of my life, I have allowed my true nature to be oppressed by the constant overwhelming pressures of conformity and 'proper civilized' society, all the while deluding myself into believing my act of fitting in was working.
It wasn't, but what other choice did I have? I had no real adult role models to go to for advise. In retrospect post realization, I'm fortunate for this.
The only reason I'm still lankin around, is because of my beautiful, understanding, empathetic, sensitive, iron-willed partner of 9 yrs.
I'm well aware of my good fortune to have met someone like this, as I have seen and heard other stories to the contrary.(I'm sure you can imagine).
I am self dx'd as of a month ago, and a clinical dx would be only a formality for me, (but still would like to be tested...for the fun of it)
I muchly appreciate this site and the big brains that created it, and any and all feedback I may or may not get is also appreciated.
Anyone who wants to commune and bump big beautiful brains with me is welcome.
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From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.
26 Feb 2005, 11:44 am
