NT reaction vs. Your reaction

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A stranger walks by, wearing awkward shoes and walking noticably funny.

My reaction: Oh dear, I hope she doesn't fall over and hurt herself.
NT reaction: Oh, look at that person over there, look at the way she's walking! Oh my god (laughs) oh my god, what a stupid idiot she looks, she looks really funny (stares and laughs) look at the way she's walking! (stares again)

This has actually happened before.

Setting: High School

The teacher tells us we have an assignment we have to do in a group and we are allowed to choose are groups

NT students: Look at their little clique before the teacher says "GO!" and gets together super quickly

Me: Sits for the 40 seconds the NTs take to form their groups and groans and joins a group of people that I barely know (but they all know each other)

Carpooling with my mom on the way home from school:

NT: Yeah, my day was great. I had lunch with So-and-So and her friends and I think I passed that bio test I told you about yesterday! How was your day?

Me: Ooh... They finally took out the dead palm trees... *Pull out on main street and cringe at the sound of a siren down the road.* That's the sixth ambulance I've seen this week. Did you know that the merle gene in dogs that causes blue eyes and a distinctive skin pattern in some breeds is linked to deafness? Oh, remember that biology test I was talking about like two weeks ago? I finished it in 17 minutes. It was so easy it was fun.
Needless to say I usually end up listening to my iPod and reading license plates and stickers the whole way home, from the back seat.

I remember being at a friend's apartment for a roleplaying game. One of her friends arrived unannounced with an infant. I was annoyed at the interruption, and didn't really pay much attention to this person as I did not know her or her baby. I recall someone making snarky comments about how women are supposed to fuss over babies, which annoyed me further.

When first meeting someone, NTs usually say "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm ________________."
My first meeting; "Hi, could you please move your car? I am having a tree removed today," or something like that.
I only talk to them in order to make a request or ask a question and leave without telling them who I am. This is sacrilege to NTs. Introductions are everything.