Well, it's official...I am SCUM

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Fluttershy11
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 11 Jan 2012
Age: 53
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Location: Southern Maine

11 Apr 2012, 11:21 pm

Hello again, Wrong Planet-eers...I'm back to give you an update for the topic that I'd previously addressed in my thread "I Feel Like I Want to Cry All the Time"; namely, how I've had to go to court to deal with the issue of scratching up 2 cars in an effort to lash out at an injustice.

Well, only 2 days ago, I went back to the court to properly put an end to the whole affair. I spoke with the day attorney and said I wanted to pay the full restitution for my crime and be done with it. He told me that upon paying the full amount (which was a lot less then I had feared it to be - $350), he said that my case would be filed away, and that if I kept my nose clean of any further incidents of mischief making for a full year, my offense would be wiped from the records. I told him I could behave myself, signed the form, got a money order, and paid the court.

Now, this would normally be the part where any other human being would let this unpleasantness in their life go, move on with their life, never to give it another moment's thought, right?

WRONG!! !

Just the simple fact of knowing that my deed has been put on a record that means only one thing: I have a criminal record. Key word: CRIMINAL!

You know what that means? I am now automatically NO better then people who rob liquor stores, beat their wives' to a bloody pulp, refuse to pay alimony, and molest little children!! ! Even if I do stay out of trouble and it's wiped clean after a full year, just simply KNOWING I had one in the first place doesn't make me feel any better!

Bottom line...I am SCUM. I am SH*T. I do not deserve to be treated like a human being. Ever again.

"Make ONE mistake...you pay for it the rest of your life." That's my motto.

Fluttershy11

Alexender
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11 Apr 2012, 11:26 pm

Um... relax?

I was on probation for 12 months (I didn't have to check in with anyone or anything like that) for getting in a major car accident, totaled the other car. Completely my fault. I got some points on my license, had to do some community service. But it has not effected me in any other way.

All your motto will do is drive you crazy.

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Fluttershy11
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 11 Jan 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 186
Location: Southern Maine

12 Apr 2012, 12:01 am

Alexender wrote:

Well, bravo for handling it like a man. If something like that happened to me, I'd have gone catatonic with guilt and shame, ESPECIALLY if I felt like I hurt innocent people. Getting points tacked onto my license and having to do community service would've been the least of my worries! I'm just too much of a fragile flower to be a part of society.

cozysweater
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12 Apr 2012, 12:16 am

Fluttershy11 wrote:

Possibly you're being sarcastic. I'm not the best judge of that. If so, fine whatever.
If not - You're very judgemental for someone who apparently keyed a bunch of cars. (I didn't read your crying-all-the-time thread)

Basically I agree with Alexander. If it's not a felony it won't affect your employment record and you may still have a shot at political office. Especially if you can prove that your delicate sensibilities were inflamed by some sort of actual injustice.

Fluttershy11
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 11 Jan 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 186
Location: Southern Maine

12 Apr 2012, 6:25 am

cozysweater wrote:

No, I was indeed being sincere. Yes, I am a *very* judgemental person. On the one hand, what he did was accidental; my crime was done on purpose as a way of lashing out at a parent who I thought was being too harsh with a child (oh and it was only 2 cars btw). But on the other hand, the damage he caused was MUCH more severe, and there's the fact he could've also seriously hurt the person or persons riding in that car; I on the other hand never set out to physically hurt anybody, though it can be argued that what I did caused financial and psychological harm.

I never intend to run for a political office, and I sure as HELL aren't going to apply for a job, salary or non-profit, during this year of probation. I've deemed myself to be a threat to society, and I feel that round-the-clock isolation (aka becoming a recluse) is the ONLY way that I can keep myself from lashing out and becoming 'a monster' again. It's for my own good as well as society's.

Sweetleaf
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12 Apr 2012, 9:52 am

Fluttershy11 wrote:

Come on that's terrible you're being way to hard on yourself...I think robbing liquor stores, beating wives and child molestation are a little bit worse than doing something stupid but not exactly that terribly damaging because you where pissed off. Also if it comes off your record in a year that will hardly be much of a problem.

You don't regularly break any laws do you? and your not going to pay for that for the rest of your life...there are a number of worse things you could have done. Just try not to be so hard on yourself about this.

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Sweetleaf
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12 Apr 2012, 9:56 am

Fluttershy11 wrote:

cozysweater wrote:

I hardly see how your a threat to society...maybe isolation when you feel too overwhelmed by everything is a good idea sometimes but constant isolation is not healthy. I mean you didn't do anything that was that big of a deal at most it probably caused cosmetic damage to the car which may end up having to be paid for but maybe their insurance covers it or they got compensated or something don't know how exactly the process works.

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Fluttershy11
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 11 Jan 2012
Age: 53
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12 Apr 2012, 11:41 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well, that's just the point; I DON'T regularly break laws...but you are totally right in one aspect. I AM really f**king stupid when it comes to simple common sense. It's incredible how a person like me could be so rich in knowledge, but so POOR IN SENSE!!
Goddamn, I hate myself so much...

Oh, and about that thing you said about not having to pay for that the rest of my life?

Don't underestimate me. As long as I live in the town of Sanford ME, every 13th of December I will pay a visit to that parking lot and drop $100 on each of the 2 spots where I committed the scratchings. I will fight to my last breath to show in my own way that I'm eternally sorry for what I've done. You can choose to call me crazy or psychotic, but this is the life I choose to live! I am a hardcore repenter, and nothing is going to change that.

P.S. - in regards to figuring out the damages to the cars, it's calculated by how much the parties paid for insurance and what their deductible rates are; that is, how much you have to pay out of your own pocket before insurance covers the rest. In this case, the total deductible was $350, and that's what I wound up paying restitution for. Hope that explains it. ^_^

Fluttershy11

Greatsharkbite
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12 Apr 2012, 11:24 pm

You acted in an attempt to correct something you felt was wrong. Being real, something being the law doesn't necessarily mean it acts in the interest of justice.

Less than 100 years ago women did not have half the rights of men, nor could they or people of color legally vote.

You got a little heated and you learned your lesson, think any extra self-discipline is overkill.

Admittedly I did type this before reading your last post and in hindsight can see no matter what is said--this is what you decided.

Just if you thought the parents were being too harsh with the kid and you acted according?

Has anything really changed as far as your view on the situation? Now you plan on dropping money in a parking lot where no one will ever get it or put towards good use?

Sweetleaf
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12 Apr 2012, 11:30 pm

Fluttershy11 wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well, that's just the point; I DON'T regularly break laws...but you are totally right in one aspect. I AM really f**king stupid when it comes to simple common sense. It's incredible how a person like me could be so rich in knowledge, but so POOR IN SENSE!!
Goddamn, I hate myself so much...

Oh, and about that thing you said about not having to pay for that the rest of my life?

Don't underestimate me. As long as I live in the town of Sanford ME, every 13th of December I will pay a visit to that parking lot and drop $100 on each of the 2 spots where I committed the scratchings. I will fight to my last breath to show in my own way that I'm eternally sorry for what I've done. You can choose to call me crazy or psychotic, but this is the life I choose to live! I am a hardcore repenter, and nothing is going to change that.

Why so some random person who has no idea what even took place can pick it up? I wouldn't dwell on it like that, that is likely to only make you feel worse. I mean you made a mistake, you already had to pay a fine for it and such and clearly its not something you want to repeat doing so I think you've 'paid for it' enough....But its your choice.

P.S. - in regards to figuring out the damages to the cars, it's calculated by how much the parties paid for insurance and what their deductible rates are; that is, how much you have to pay out of your own pocket before insurance covers the rest. In this case, the total deductible was $350, and that's what I wound up paying restitution for. Hope that explains it. ^_^

Fluttershy11

Well then you paid for the damage more or less? if so there is hardly any need to dwell on it, I just think that will make you feel worse.

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cozysweater
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12 Apr 2012, 11:42 pm

Fluttershy11 wrote:

Don't underestimate me. As long as I live in the town of Sanford ME, every 13th of December I will pay a visit to that parking lot and drop $100 on each of the 2 spots where I committed the scratchings. I will fight to my last breath to show in my own way that I'm eternally sorry for what I've done. You can choose to call me crazy or psychotic, but this is the life I choose to live! I am a hardcore repenter, and nothing is going to change that.

Fluttershy11

You love it don't you

The exquisite righteousness, the ache of being bad but definitely being better than every other low-life wrong-doer that happens across your path. (You were kind of justified after all, right?)
You're not crazy or psychotic, you're a flagellant. You're bad and you need to be spanked (Where's a winky emoticon when you need one?!

)

WerewolfPoet
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15 Apr 2012, 11:48 am

Criminal does NOT equal scum. A criminal is simply a person caught being a human being by law enforcement.
Every human being gets reckless occasionally and does something stupid, unjustified, vengeful, what-have-you.
Repent however you wish, for it is your life and your emotions that you are dealing with, but know that you are not a bad person.
You a simply a person, and a person is a rather emotional creature.

Narfibald
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15 Apr 2012, 1:37 pm

Fluttershy I think you're attaching too much importance to the words here. Yes you have a "criminal" record, but only for a year as long as you don't commit anymore crimes. Afterwords, it's gone, forgotten. And if regular society, as judgmental and fickle as it is, is willing to forget after only a year, then why can't you? Hell, I think it show's more strength to make a mistake and have the strength to correct it and move on, than it does to not make any mistakes in the first place.

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Sweetleaf
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15 Apr 2012, 3:35 pm

If it makes you feel any better I could easily have a criminal record, I've just been lucky and never got caught doing anything illegal. And well I don't think that necessarily makes me scum because I don't even agree with all the laws. So you're certainly not scum for breaking a rule, I mean sure maybe you got a little carried away and regret what you did but don't torment yourself over it for the rest of your life, I doubt you deserve that.

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ReaperKnight
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15 Apr 2012, 4:10 pm

Hell, if the police knew how dangerous I can be, they'd lock me up right here and now. I've stolen plenty of sh*t, broken glass panes and assaulted three or four people, and I came damn close to down right executing one of them, but they won't know that because none of it has been reported. Sure, it says on my statement that I have issues with my stress, but it doesn't say to what extent. Just because you have a criminal record doesn't mean you are a criminal. In my opinion, a criminal is someone who both has a record (albeit with a longer list) and doesn't show remorse for their actions, so in other words, stop worrying yourself about a little mistake.

Cornflake
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15 Apr 2012, 5:57 pm

ReaperKnight, they could already know by now...
Apart from Members Only, all of WP is freely accessible to anyone - and by design, this includes Google and other search engine scrapers with the purpose of making WP as accessible as possible.

In future, you might want to moderate what information you post about yourself because it may come back to bite you.

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