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Are you self sufficient?
Yes 63%  63%  [ 168 ]
No 37%  37%  [ 100 ]
Total votes : 268

Lukecash12
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14 Apr 2012, 7:57 pm

This seems to be a prevalent issue for people on the autism spectrum, and I found it to be a question different enough from "do you live alone", that it would be worth asking.

Also, how do you feel about the issue? How would you define "self sufficient"? What about your symptoms, if you are on the spectrum, affects your ability to be self sufficient?

As for me, I would say that:

1. I feel, at least for myself, that although I have a lot of difficulty with executive functioning, and I don't get as much help as I should from those around me (I can be a prideful creature), that I both am and want to be self sufficient. For a while, I was receiving social security checks, and as someone who is healthy enough to work, at the very least get out and do some manual labor, it hurt my ego pretty bad. So, I got a job and quit the social security arrangement. But I'm my own person, and these are the answers for me, maybe not for you (I'm not one to judge). I value my work ethic, and I value getting out there and contributing. Many people here either seem or even pointedly say that they are misanthropic (have an aversion towards other people). But I like people, and want to do things for them; It hurts me and my ego when I can't do things for them. Being autistic, I feel for them, but you know that I just have a hard time feeling with them.

2. I would define self sufficiency as being able to finance your own needs, and organize your own life. However, I don't think that getting help from the other significant people in your life necessarily means one isn't self sufficient. That's where things get tricky for me, and my pride and intuition kick in.

3. Well, it took me a year of stubbornly trying to arrange everything myself, to get into college. I had to learn how to communicate with admissions and finance counselors, to set several alarms for myself during the day, to keep an agenda of important tasks to do, etc. It wasn't easy at all, and I'm still dependent on notebooks and cell phone alarms, writing down my questions and statements before I begin a phone call, and in general having to work every detail out. This process was kind of excruciating, and at the start I failed left and right, confusing important deadlines with each other... What could go wrong went wrong, basically.

And getting my first job was nuts. I obsessed over my resume, and had to improve my writing skills to get it the way I wanted it. With only missionary work as a reference, I probably didn't look like much of a candidate. Then, I got lucky and started working at a local Savemart, found my niche doing inventory, because I do well with numbers and logistics. What I want to do for a career, is do a double major in the humanities and sciences, earn one or more doctorates, and write research papers. I'll be as happy as a pig in mud, when I can write research papers. Finally, I'll have an outlet for all of my nervous energy and hard-lined rational thinking.


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one-A-N
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14 Apr 2012, 11:50 pm

I answered "Yes", although sometimes I wonder.

I am in my fifties, and the only time in my life when I was really living independently was for 3 months when I travelled overseas alone at the age of 22. I had to plan and get accommodation, food, entertainment, tours, transport, and even clothing, all by myself, while on the other side of the world from people I knew.

Apart from that, I have always lived with other people who took care of most of the practical aspects of life - paying bills, buying food, cooking, etc. These days I am married and I am the principal breadwinner, but I married an excellent administrator (NT) who can run the household better than I would.

So, am I self-sufficient? I can earn the income to support my family, but I would find it stressful to run the household. I am glad that someone else does it (and is good at it). I am financially self-sufficient, but probably not that emotionally self-sufficient.



RazorEddie
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15 Apr 2012, 6:33 am

I suppose I could be called aggressively self sufficient: 'leave me alone - I can deal with it myself'. I earn a decent wage and have no real trouble supporting myself.


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RobotGreenAlien2
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08 May 2012, 9:55 pm

RazorEddie wrote:
I suppose I could be called aggressively self sufficient: 'leave me alone - I can deal with it myself'.


Ditto, I was a little obsessed with not leaning on anyone but It puts you at a disadvantage. NT's ask for help and lean on people all the time.



edgewaters
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08 May 2012, 9:58 pm

I can't hold down a full time job and I need a little (not much) help with practical tasks outside of work so I would have to say no.



auntblabby
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09 May 2012, 3:44 am

i would have to say no, because if it weren't for my late parent's leaving me something after they passed, i'd be living under a bridge someplace, with no prospects for sustained gainful employment at even the most basic level.



Solvejg
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09 May 2012, 5:09 am

I will say i am unsure edging towards no.

I am a single parent of 2 kids but I rely 100% of government assistance. I don't know if I will ever work again because kids+working is too much for me I think. I do study at university though.

I think long term, I will need to live with someone to help me.


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Sainrith
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09 May 2012, 11:19 pm

I am as self-sufficient as I can be. I live alone and I am self-employed, which gives me a lot of control over my environment and other sources of stress. I am left to find ways to connect to people that are within my areas of interest.


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Sweetleaf
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09 May 2012, 11:22 pm

No I live at my moms house and stay at a friends house a lot..........I simply cant afford to move out with no income.


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OliveOilMom
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10 May 2012, 4:46 pm

I'm married and a housewife, so I depend on my husband for income but there is nothing preventing me from being self sufficient if I needed to be. My AS isn't a disability, it's just a hinderance at times.


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zombiegirl2010
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13 May 2012, 1:50 pm

I'm not sure. I currently have a job, and help pay some bills (live with gf). However, I'm not great with my money (usually late on bills) and with employment...it's always a matter of time until I'm let go for some reason or another. :/


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YourMajesty
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13 May 2012, 2:04 pm

I'm 20 and live on my own and study. Things aren't perfect though. Often I'm tired and I need to look after myself and my rats.



auntblabby
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13 May 2012, 5:30 pm

YourMajesty wrote:
I'm 20 and live on my own and study. Things aren't perfect though. Often I'm tired and I need to look after myself and my rats.

are your rats particularly friendly? just curious...



blueroses
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14 May 2012, 4:18 pm

I'm 100% self-sufficient. I have no other choice but to be. I get some emotional support and a shoulder to cry on from a few close friends when needed, but other than that, it's Me vs The World.



YourMajesty
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15 May 2012, 8:33 am

auntblabby wrote:
YourMajesty wrote:
I'm 20 and live on my own and study. Things aren't perfect though. Often I'm tired and I need to look after myself and my rats.

are your rats particularly friendly? just curious...

I don't quite understand your question; do you just mean to ask if the animals are social, or is there sarcasm or a double bottom? To answer your question: Yes, they're very smart, social and affectionate, and just like a dog they'll lick your hand if they love you.



ChangelingGirl
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15 May 2012, 12:48 pm

I answered no. I'm definitely not self-sufficient. I live in an institution where I do only a few things by myself, and I receive disability benefits and have since I turned 18. I did try college and living independently for a while, but failed miserably due to executive dysfunction, overload, and mental health problems that aren't AS-related. I was raised with an extreme drive to be self-sufficient, and it was actually communicated to me that people who aren't self-sufficient are pretty much not worth living. Therefore, I definitely do want to be self-sufficient, but the drive is lessening now that I'm realizing other things make life worthwhile.

I believe there are two kinds of self-sufficiency, oen being the one I described above, and the other being able to advocate for yourslef and make your own decisions. I am very self-sufficient for an institution inmate in the second sense, because I don't have a guardian, make my own financial decisions, have a lot of input in my own treatment planning, etc.