How many times have you had a crush and suppressed it?
I have trouble with the term, "inappropriate crush."
It is our behaviour that has to comply with standards of propriety, not our attractions.
Now, there are attractions in which it would be impossible to act upon them appropriately; and is possible for an attractions to become an obsession to the point of unhealthiness. But I think that these are largely measures of how we respond to crushes, not of the crushes themselves.
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--James
Do you mean today?
Seriously, I have unresolved crushes going back decades, from classmates to celebrities...
My first celebrity crush:
Karen Carpenter
(b1950 - d1983)
My most recent celebrity crush:
Eithne Patricia Ní Bhraonáin
I would never admit these 'crushes' to anyone who knows me personally.
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I tend to have loads of celebrity crushes, and it's never because they're popular or wealthy. If it was, I'd be crushing on all the A-list celebrities out there. When I have a celebrity crush, it's usually partly because of their looks and partly because they play characters I love, which leads me to read about them and watch interviews/other videos with them, which gives me little glimpses of their personality.
Anyway, back to the original question... I've suppressed every single one of my crushes. I have taken initiative with people I've met out on the town a couple of times, but I wouldn't say I had a crush on those people.
I never act on crushes and try to get rid of them as much as possible.
I wouldn't want someone to know I had a crush on them because they might be straight and even if they aren't, it would probably just make things weird. If they liked me back, it would be worse as I think I am not good enough for anyone so I would probably just end up doing something completely stupid.
I don't mind having celebrity or fictional (anime / game character) crushes since i'm never going to meet them because either they don't actually exist or they are too busy being famous so I don't need to worry they will ever find out or anything. So I have no issues with talking to people about those kind of crushes and things.... but I would never tell someone I had a crush on a real person because I would be too worried they would find out.
I always have and always will hate the feeling of having a crush on a straight man. I have one male friend who is very attractive, but he also happens to be straight . I just have to learn to appreciate the friendship for what it is and hope that he someday finds a girl who loves him. He knows I am gay (and probably knows I have a crush on him), but he has no problem with gay people. If the guy is straight, I have to figure out his stance on LGBT rights. If he says anything like "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve", then he is obviously not good friendship material.
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Living my life one day at a time.
i agree. I used to crush all the time when i was younger and in school. It seems like the more outside contact i have the more i am liable to "crush" on an individual, particularly intelligent males. it's part of the reason i don't go and mingle if i don't have to. i see attractive guys on the street and i just get ... that icky, sinking feeling. then i think that i'm 33 and i shouldn't be feeling this way, and that i'm stupid for getting like that over someone i passed by on the street. if that's what i feel now when i don't even know a person, i would hate to think what would happen if i had to get to know a guy i found attractive.
as for sustained crushes, i had a crush on one of my friends in college, and i still retain it to this day. It's a bit sad, though; i haven't found him online, and he never knew, but i doubt that he would have been receptive. i used to take pictures of him all the time, and he would be annoyed, but would oblige. i only have one strip of negatives of him remaining, and i have it tucked away so deep in my apartment that i feel like i'm safe from it, but i can't bear to throw it away because then i feel like i'll finally lose what's left of him.
i agree. I used to crush all the time when i was younger and in school. It seems like the more outside contact i have the more i am liable to "crush" on an individual, particularly intelligent males. it's part of the reason i don't go and mingle if i don't have to. i see attractive guys on the street and i just get ... that icky, sinking feeling. then i think that i'm 33 and i shouldn't be feeling this way, and that i'm stupid for getting like that over someone i passed by on the street. if that's what i feel now when i don't even know a person, i would hate to think what would happen if i had to get to know a guy i found attractive.
as for sustained crushes, i had a crush on one of my friends in college, and i still retain it to this day. It's a bit sad, though; i haven't found him online, and he never knew, but i doubt that he would have been receptive. i used to take pictures of him all the time, and he would be annoyed, but would oblige. i only have one strip of negatives of him remaining, and i have it tucked away so deep in my apartment that i feel like i'm safe from it, but i can't bear to throw it away because then i feel like i'll finally lose what's left of him.
I know exactly what feeling you're referring to. I sometimes even hate being out in public when it happens. I can't watch strippers or burlesque because of that feeling (porn is different).
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Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.
I know exactly what feeling you're referring to. I sometimes even hate being out in public when it happens. I can't watch strippers or burlesque because of that feeling (porn is different).
i understand this.
though, i don't watch much in the way of strippers.
AinsleyHarte
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 14 Nov 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 181
Location: Seattle-ish.
This has been on my mind a lot lately.
Considering myself gay and gender-queer/fluid (biologically female,) I tend to find myself attracted to women but have had attractions to men (always heterosexual) in the past. I tend to vacillate between the internal identities of being gay, but (n)either male (n)or female. It all kind of depends on the direction the wind is blowing, the phase of the moon, what planets are in alignment, the day of the week... yeah, it just changes freely, and I am okay with that.
I'm typically too shy to assert myself or make any sort of move towards admitting said crush, but if it is brought up by the person in question, I will usually admit to it. I'm a terrible liar.
Recently, I have developed an intense infatuation with a friend-of-a-friend, and this person happens to be a gay man and a drag queen. They are quite well-known in/around the area and have a lot of fan attention, and it is rather defeating to have a genuine interest in wanting to get to know someone on the grounds of feeling like we may be kindred spirits when you'd likely come across as a hormonal fangirl. Trying to suppress this one for the sake of my dignity.
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I wish I knew who I was before I was Me.
Aspie score: 180 / 200 - NT score: 25 / 200
Aloof: 112 / Rigid: 109 / Pragmatic: 117
AQ: 47
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